Welcome to Los Angeles, fans.

Last night's American Idol auditions in Birmingham were decent, but this is Hollywood. Let's see if the contestants can step it up ...

Most unexpected: It's actually not Olivia Newton-John. The well-known singer from Grease is more welcome than this panther dude. He actually seems surprised to be rejected.

Most awesome assonance: Alaina Alexander. That hoarse voice could help her make it as a sex operater - or an American Idol, apparently, considering she's moving on to Hollywood. Or remaining in Hollywood. Either way.

Most surprising Taylor Hicks wanna-be: Phuong Pham. Her mom told her she was no Katharine McPhee? Ouch. No golden ticket? Double ouch. That dancing? Let's just move on.

Most experienced: Brandon Rogers (pictured). A back-up singer for Christina Aguilera and Anastacia? That almost seems like cheating. But there are no rules against it and Brandon seems likable.

Most boy band ready: Brian Miller. Simon forgot him from last year. Never a good sign. But he may cry if we don't give him a golden ticket. Thanks, guys.

Best closing note: We wish Simon hadn't embarassed Eric Mueller like that - but how could he not with such rich material as the help he tried to recieve from a Randy and Paula CD?

So long, L.A. San Antonio on Tuesday has to be better.

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.