The Magistra, an American Idol blogger just like ourselves, recently reported on season six auditions in Birmingham.

Evidently, the field looks weak. But many great contestants - such as winner Ruben Studdard - hailed from the state. So there's gotta be some hope, right? Here's her predictions for these auditions, along with a clip of Simon and Randy arriving in the city ...

1. Studdard will make a super surprise guest appearance at the auditions, because what else does he have to do?

2. This year’s eventual American Idol winner will come from the Birmingham auditions.

3. The winner will be from the South because America will never crown a Northerner as the American Idol.

4. The eventual winner will be a country singer, whose lack of talent Simon will malign for the first twelve weeks of the competition. Nevertheless, by the finale he will be singing this person’s praises and saying, “I totally knew he/she had it in him/her to be the winner of this here competition.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA-2UQ0irYc[/youtube]

5. The Powers-That-Be will choose the Birmingham audition episode to premiere Bo Bice’s brand spankin’ new Pantene Pro-V commercial.

6. Crazy Dave will audition once again in Birmingham. This time, he will not score a ticket to Los Angeles, but he will score Paula’s digits.

7. Ryan Seacrest’s Alabama costume will include bare feet, a straw hat, and overalls with no shirt. Because he’s just that subtle.

8. Paula will provide the savviest advice of all the judges during the Birmingham auditions when she tells one contestant, “Meat, meat, apple pie. Brownie sundae in my eye. Peace pipe, peace pipe, chicken dinner. Turn your head and cough, you sinner.”

9. The Most Imitated Former American Idol Contestant at the Birmingham auditions will be Taylor Hicks.

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.