The Magistra, an American Idol blogger just like ourselves, recently reported on season six auditions in Birmingham.
Evidently, the field looks weak. But many great contestants - such as winner Ruben Studdard - hailed from the state. So there's gotta be some hope, right? Here's her predictions for these auditions, along with a clip of Simon and Randy arriving in the city ...
1. Studdard will make a super surprise guest appearance at the auditions, because what else does he have to do?
2. This yearâ€™s eventual American Idol winner will come from the Birmingham auditions.
3. The winner will be from the South because America will never crown a Northerner as the American Idol.
4. The eventual winner will be a country singer, whose lack of talent Simon will malign for the first twelve weeks of the competition. Nevertheless, by the finale he will be singing this personâ€™s praises and saying, â€œI totally knew he/she had it in him/her to be the winner of this here competition.â€
5. The Powers-That-Be will choose the Birmingham audition episode to premiere Bo Biceâ€™s brand spankinâ€™ new Pantene Pro-V commercial.
6. Crazy Dave will audition once again in Birmingham. This time, he will not score a ticket to Los Angeles, but he will score Paulaâ€™s digits.
7. Ryan Seacrestâ€™s Alabama costume will include bare feet, a straw hat, and overalls with no shirt. Because heâ€™s just that subtle.
8. Paula will provide the savviest advice of all the judges during the Birmingham auditions when she tells one contestant, â€œMeat, meat, apple pie. Brownie sundae in my eye. Peace pipe, peace pipe, chicken dinner. Turn your head and cough, you sinner.â€
9. The Most Imitated Former American Idol Contestant at the Birmingham auditions will be Taylor Hicks.