An Expert Prescribes Remedies For Grey's Characters

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With Grey's Anatomy characters struggling with various issues these days, what remedies would work best? To help answer that question thought, we'd thought we'd ask a local professional and avid Grey's Anatomy fan! Yes, it's a slow news week!

Campbell Phelps, MSW, LCSW, possesses a Masters in Social Work and a certification in Urban Leadership. She has a clinical background in treating co-occurring disorders, mood and anxiety disorders, and severe persistent mental illness. Campbell is also on the inpatient Psychiatric Consultation Liaison Service at a prominent hospital int he Northeast.

We could continue Campbell's professional bio for another three paragraphs, but you trust she's an expert by now, right? And, as with one of our previous medical experts, we're intimidated by her credentials. Alright, let's get to our interview ...

Grey's Anatomy Insider: What medications would you prescribe for various characters? Name the medication, character and reason for recommending it.

CP: Unfortunately I cannot prescribe any medications but if I could... I would get an emergency psychiatric evaluation on Meredith Grey. She probably suffers from a personality or psychotic disorder with how often she talks to herself! She would benefit from Thorazine - usually prescribed for people with severe disruptions in thought and perception. Maybe we could get her to stop twitching her lips a bit too....

Contemplative Mer

Even Meredith Grey herself would admit she needs help!

Dr. Alex Karev is just too darn angry... he needs something for his poor impulse control, whether it be sexual or aggressive. He needs to stop just wanting to have sex with everyone without a commitment. Recommend Seroquel, to help stabilize his mood.

Cristina Yang... she needs valium or some other type of muscle relaxant. She is way too up tight and needs to chill out or else she may seriously (there IT IS) crack.

And lastly... poor little Lexie Grey. She should probably just borrow some of her sister's medications, as psychotic disorders are usually hereditary.

The rest of the bunch are fairly normal ...

Grey's Anatomy Insider: How often do you and your co-workers say the word "seriously" on a daily basis?

CP: We seriously say seriously all the time. Seriously. No, I'm dead serious (this is another common phrase).

Grey's Anatomy Insider: What celebrity should make a guest appearance on Grey's?

CP: So I took a poll on this one. Most votes went to Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Although one vote was for Colin Firth (random?). We think Brad would just jell with the rest of the cast and possibly give them a reality check. Plus we are hoping that he will get it on with Izzie or Miranda.

Grey's Anatomy Insider: You're also a fan of MTV's The Hills. So we gotta ask: Are you on Team Heidi or Team Lauren?

CP: Team Lauren all the way! Are there even people on Heidi's team?

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Grey's Anatomy Quotes

MEREDITH: "You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done! All the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cares? I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore."
DEREK: "This thing with us is finished. It's over."
MEREDITH: "Finally."
DEREK: "Yeah, it's done."
MEREDITH: "It is done."

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.

Meredith