Each Gossip Girl episode is reviewed by New York Magazine, then given a score according to the publication's arbitrary, but hilarious "realism scale."

This week's show, "Never Been Marcused," measured an impressive +22 overall! Here are some highlights from the mag's Gossip Girl analysis ...

• "Oh My F'ing God!" Blair says when she discovers Nate and the Duchess on the floor. Nice nod to the show's OMFG ad campaign. Plus 2.

• Where the H are Lily and Bart? No business tycoon takes a whole summer off - even for something as romantic as a 4th honeymoon! Minus 1.

• Of course Nate's mom has no idea when he's coming or going. Plus 1.

• Dan and Serena board the Jitney and there are plenty of empty seats during the last week of summer? No way. Minus 2.

• Make-up sex is so much better when you're 16, because you're not actually pissed off at each other about real stuff. Plus 2.

• In another classic Blair Waldorf quote, she says, "It's like Roman Holiday but I'm Gregory Peck and he's Audrey Hepburn!" Okay, true, but we're wearying of the Audrey Hepburn schtick. Minus 2. 

• HOLY HELL NATE IS A MALE PROSTITUTE. This is the best turn of events we could have imagined. Chace Crawford was born for this role. Plus 10.

• Serena reads Nylon. Dude, no one reads Nylon. Minus 1.

• The Gossip Girl fashion designer has apparently decided to dress Vanessa in exclusively neon citrus colors. Why she is being so punished we do not know, but if Vanessa was real she would one day look back on a photograph of herself in that outfit and cringe. Generations have differences, but high school fashion mistakes are eternal. Plus 5.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.