Lauren Conrad looked cute. Whitney Port gave advice. Spencer Pratt acted like a jerk to a record three members of the Montag family. Stephanie Pratt became a drama queen. Brody Jenner got on her case. Doug Reinhardt defended himself. Badly.

All that and more went down in an epic half hour of "reality" TV on The Hills. Read all about it in all its humorous detail in this new reality index!

Spencer Pratt is a tool. But he makes The Hills more entertaining.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.