Rock of Love Bus Photo Recap: Episode One

Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels, the rocker's third attempt at finding a soulmate on reality television, premiere last night.

And we could sum up the series premiere by reciting Bret's reaction to Ashley, who he described as “beautiful in a Juliette Lewis kind of way," adding that she's like “Natural Born Killers with bigger breasts.”

Or we could quote another contestant, who sold herself as "everything I think a guy would want, actually. I’m different, I’m cool, I’m fun. I’m a little bit not too smart, but it’s OK!”

But you can read an episode recap in full elsewhere, courtesy of VH1, as we focus instead on the skankified pictures that make Rock of Love Bus an instant classic. 

To paraphrase Mindy: What the blonde bimbo hell have we walked into?

Keep your eyes closed. This will go a lot easier that way.

Click on the array of photos below for a closer look at the series premiere of Rock of Love Bus. You'll be glad you did...