It takes a Real Housewife to analyze a series of new, Real Housewives.
With that in mind, Bethenny Frankel of The Real Housewives of New York has started a blog that will detail the happenings across the bridge on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
The screen is yours, Bethenny...
Teresa seems simple and sweet from the start. She's a flat-chested amateur stage mother with a "built," "gorgeous" husband in construction. Perfect. Let the clichés begin. Her daughter is beautiful and adorable. Over $100K on that horrific furniture? What would Jill Zarin say?
I actually think Dina is very pretty and very attractive. She has a cuteness to her. Daughter Lexi also seems quirky and interesting. We hear Dina talk about her never-present husband of three years. Here's a theme reminiscent of my Countess/Count days.
Also, Dina is a cat person, and I oddly like that she has that bizarre looking feline. Her decor is something for the books. More is more in Jersey, that's for sure: hair, nails, cars and over-the-top gaudy furniture. Got it.
I love Caroline and, oh yes, she is a throwback. She will be the sure favorite. Everyone likes old school, especially the Bravo viewer who isn't familiar with this Italian, family-style way of living.
The lingo, the houses, the Brownstone, the whole thing. I get it. I've seen it and it is real. All we want is real, and on Bravo, honesty is the best policy.
I loved those cute balloon cupcakes for the birthday party. Her daughter Ashley seems spoiled but nice too. Major theme: family.
And now for the hottest mess since one of Christian Siriano's victims: Danielle. WTF? Um, embrace your age. I'm embarrassed that at 30 I had a belly ring, but this is past pushing it. No one light a match near this one. Can you say cougar? Twenty engagements? She's me on steroids. So you had a black Amex before Madonna?
How does one get this information? How do I even begin with this tragic human being? I'll give her this: She is being herself and the viewers will be drawn to her like flies to sticky paper.
People watch train wrecks, and my dear, we have a winner. People are going to kill me, but this girl is the poor man's LuAnn.