Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes: Season Two

"Larry: Grape works as a soda. Sort of as a gum. I wonder why it doesn't work as a pie. Grape pie? There's no grape pie." - Larry David

If you haven't seen Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is basically like a hyper-neurotic Seinfeld, you really should check it out when it returns in September. In the meantime, check out our growing list of Curb Your Enthusiasm quotes as a primer!

Get ready to sit back, relax and make yourselves really uncomfortable with some of the most memorable lines from the comedy's second season ...

Cheryl: Why would somebody steal tickets to Monterey?
Larry: Why not? Monterey's a very beautiful place.
Cheryl: You know, all our information is on there: our address, our telephone number ...
Larry: It doesn't matter. He's not going to break into our house. He's going to Monterey. | permalink

Larry [at Starbucks]: I'll have a vanilla... one of those "vanilla bulls**t things." You know, whatever you want, some vanilla bulls**t latte cappa thing. Whatever you got. | permalink

Tara: Mommy, Mommy, that bald man's in the bathroom, and there's something hard in his pants! | permalink

Larry: Do you work here?
Amy: No.
Larry: How come you told me to, to get rid of the water then?
Amy: I saw you coming in with water, there's no water, it's the rules.
Larry: I don't understand how it's your concern, you don't work here.
Amy: It's the rules!
Larry: Rules?
Amy: The sign says no food or drink in the theater, I'm sure we would all like to have water.
Larry: Oh yeah, we're all dying of thirst. What are you the hallway monitor here? | permalink

Cheryl: There's no lock on that bathroom door.
Larry: I know.
Cheryl: That's crazy!
Larry: I know... it's insane! | permalink

Susie: Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is! Alright, just get me the f**king head, alright?! Get me the f**king head, alright!? Both of you, I've had it! You four-eyed f**k and you fat piece of s**t, get me the head! | permalink

Larry: Have you heard of Switzerland? It's a country in Europe and they don't like to fight. They let everybody do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. | permalink