Californication Recap: Wish You Were Here

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Season 3 of Californication is finally here! Hank Moody is back to his old tricks - and we love it!

Read all about what happened in the season premiere in our episode guide.

Season Three Promo Pic

A few of our favorite Californication quotes from the hour:

Hank: Wait a guys are stoned!
Becca: Dad, please!
Hank: Tell me where you got the weed, I will kill the motherf***er, tell me!
Becca: In your typewriter. | permalink
Charlie: I've been collecting passes all morning. it's too long, it's too self-indulgent, it's too hateful, too misogynistic, it's too soft, it's too mean-spirited..
Hank: Like those are bad things? | permalink
Hank: I know you're saving the planet and all, but it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole! | permalink
Hank Moody: Life is too short to dance with fat girls. | permalink
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Californication Quotes

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.


I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?