Californication Recap: Wish You Were Here

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Season 3 of Californication is finally here! Hank Moody is back to his old tricks - and we love it!

Read all about what happened in the season premiere in our episode guide.

Season Three Promo Pic

A few of our favorite Californication quotes from the hour:

Hank: Wait a guys are stoned!
Becca: Dad, please!
Hank: Tell me where you got the weed, I will kill the motherf***er, tell me!
Becca: In your typewriter. | permalink
Charlie: I've been collecting passes all morning. it's too long, it's too self-indulgent, it's too hateful, too misogynistic, it's too soft, it's too mean-spirited..
Hank: Like those are bad things? | permalink
Hank: I know you're saving the planet and all, but it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole! | permalink
Hank Moody: Life is too short to dance with fat girls. | permalink
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Californication Quotes

I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?


Try not to forget all the times I brought you to fruition. 33 to be exact.

Hank Moody