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Family Guy Season Two Quotes

by at . Comments
Meg: Mom, I can't clean, I've got stuff to do.
Lois: Meg, we all know you don't have stuff to do | permalink
Honestly, guys, neither do you.  So sit down, make yourself comfortable and prepare to browse through perhaps the best season of Family Guy quotes.

During season two Brian declared his love for Lois, Peter worked for death, Chris became an artist, Meg got the family on a talk show, and Stewie and Brian took their first trip.  Oh and there's far too other memorable moments to even mention here.

The Griffin Family

What you can do is enjoy some of our favorite quotes from the season and then browse all of season two.

Peter: Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly? | permalink
Meg: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well, that would just leave England | permalink
Lois: I guarantee you a man made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner | permalink
Peter: I'll handle it Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah | permalink
Peter: You gonna eat that stapler?
Calahan: Umm... you can't eat a-
Peter: Wanna split it? | permalink
Peter: Woah! Is that really the blood of Christ?
Priest: Yes.
Peter: Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day, huh? | permalink
Peter: Sweet statuatory, you look beautiful | permalink
Peter: A job? Lois, the seventies are over, forget it | permalink
Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army | permalink
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk! | permalink

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Family Guy Quotes

North Dakota, we're not even the best Dakota!

Peter

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley