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House Recap: "Epic Fail"

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House the chef? Entertaining for a few moments, but nothing compared to House the doctor.

Our favorite diagnostic expert tried his hand at other hobbies this week, in order to remain clean and happy, but only one thing distracted him from the pain in his leg: medicine.

Does this mean he'll return to his team full-time in the future? And is there even a team left to return to? These answer and more lie ahead with our recap of "Epic Fail."

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There were some classic House quotes on the episode. Among our favorites:

Wilson: Is that my laundry?
House: You were running out of socks for me to borrow. | permalink
Thirteen: This might be the best thing I've ever eaten... and yes, I'm including what you're thinking about now. | permalink
Foreman: I feel like Tom Brady's back-up.
Thirteen: Tom Brady's back-up now makes $10 million. | permalink
House: I quit.
Foreman: You can't quit.
House: I think you're confusing me with Jake Gyllenhaal. | permalink

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House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.


House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.