Two and a Half Men Recap: "Mmm, fish. Yum."

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Last night, the Emmy-award winning king of awkward, Alan Harper snuck over to his ex-wife's house to take care of her new baby, which he still believes to be his.  While there, his ex-mother-in-law, Lenore (Annie Potts) attempted to seduce him, of course!

Alan and Lenore

Meanwhile, Jake was busy at home harassing Charlie to let him use his new learner's permit and drive his very expensive Mercedes.  While initially Charlie said no, Jake got his way when he captured evidence of Charlie running over Chelsea's cat.

Find out what both of our favorite Harper boys did to get out of their situations in our "Mmm, fish. Yum." recap.

Now for some of the best Two and a Half Men quotes from the episode:

Alan [about Judith's new baby]: She has my eyes, my jawline
Charlie: You forgot poopy pants and thinning hair
Alan: Oh that was only one time and I begged you to stop at the gas station | permalink
Alan: Lenore, you think should be drinking?
Lenore: Why because I've been to Betty Ford?
Alan: No, because you got kicked out of Betty Ford | permalink
Lenore: Do you know what it's like waking up to the same stupid face for thirty nine years?
Alan: All I can tell you is what I told your daughter, "if you don't like it, roll over." | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch

Woman [to Charlie about Jake]: You guys are really great together.
Charlie: Thanks.
Woman: Your wife must be proud.
Charlie: Oh, no, I'm not married.
Woman: Too bad.
Charlie: Wow, you're even better than a dog