Best of The Simpsons Season Two Quotes
Back in 1990, The Simpsons began a tradition with season two that has continued for the last twenty years with the first "Treehouse of Horror" Halloween special.
Season two was also notable for introducing us to plenty of recurring characters including Dr. Hibbert, his less successful counterpart Dr. Nick, Akira, and so many other faces we still see to this day.
Oh and did we mention we first met Phil Hartman's wonderful contributions of Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure that we would enjoy for eight more seasons until the actor's untimely death in 1998?
Or what about the many other celebrities that would lend their voices to characters including Danny DeVito, Dustin Hoffman, and Ringo Starr. Yeah, season two featured some amazing episodes.
Don't believe us? Well then you better start reading our collection of The Simpsons season two quotes and be convinced.
Fine, too lazy for that? Then check out our selection of our favorite Simpsons quotes from the season:
(Bart has just given a poor book report on Treasure Island.)
Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, did you read the book?
Bart: Mrs.Krabappel, I am insulted. Is this a book report or a witch hunt?
Mrs. Krabappel: Then perhaps you'd like to tell us the name of the pirate.
Bart's Brain: Blackbeard. Captain Nemo. Captain Hook. Long John Silver. Peg Leg Pete. Bluebeard.
Bart: Bluebeard? | permalink
(After dinner at the Simpsons goes badly and costs Mr.Burns the election, he and Smithers head home.)
Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn't it, Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election. And yet, if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir. | permalink
Marge: Homer, I couldn't help overhearing you warp Bart's mind.
Marge: I'm worried that you're making to big a deal of this silly little kiddie golf tournament.
Homer: But, Marge, this is our big chance to show up the Flandereses.
Marge: I'm sure it is, but why do we want to do that?
Homer: Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves. | permalink
Bart: Otto, I'm going to jump Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
Otto: You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something?
Otto: Cool! | permalink
Kent Brockman: Are cartoons too violent for children? Most people would say "No, of course not, what kind of stupid question is that?" But one woman says "Yes"... Marge Simpson. | permalink
Lionel Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water.
Homer: Ooh, classy. | permalink
Marge: Hmm, well, to be honest, he seemed a lot more concerned about wrapping Bart in bandages than in making him feel better. And he mispronounced words that even I know, like abdomen... and his office was dirty. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if he was even a doctor! | permalink
Homer: Poison? What should I do, what should I do? Tell me, quick.
Chef: Oh, no need to panic. There's a map to the hospital on the back of the menu. | permalink
Homer: Marge, honey, I've got five words to say to you: (Counts on fingers) Greasy Joe's Bottomless Bar-B-Q Pit!
Marge: Oh, Homer, remember you promised you'd try to limit pork to six servings a week?
Homer: Marge, I'm only human! | permalink
Skinner: Bart, I'm flabbergasted. Surely you knew as you were writing your own name in 40-foot-high letters on the field that you would be caught.
Bart: Maybe it was one of the other Barts. Sir.
Skinner: (Yelling) There are no other Barts! | permalink
Bart: Ya know, Grampa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet.
Lisa: Nuh-uh. He smells more like a photo lab.
Homer: Stop it, both of you! Grampa smells like a regular old man, which is more like a hallway in a hospital.
Marge: Homer, that's terrible! We should be teaching the children to treasure the elderly. You know, we'll be old someday.
Homer: (Gasps) My God, you're right, Marge! You kids won't put me in a home like I did to my dad, would ya?
Homer: (Screams) Marge, what do we do!? | permalink
Mr. Bergstrom: There is a wonderful girl's future at stake.
Homer: Well, if she's so wonderful, give her an A!
Mr. Bergstrom: I am giving her an A.
Homer: Great, but don't tell her it was a favor to me. Tell her she earned it.
Mr. Bergstrom: Mr. Simpson, she did earn it.
Homer: You are smooth, I'll give you that. | permalink
Marge: So maybe a part-time job is the answer.
Bart: Aw, Mom, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie, and Lisa is such a handful--
Lisa: She means you should get a job, stupid. | permalink
Homer: Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So they got Hercules, and Hercules used his mighty strength, and...bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big...thing...of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days! | permalink
Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.