Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Sixteen Year Old Virgin"

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Welcome to TV Fanatic's Gossip Girl Round Table, where we gather to review the events of "The Sixteen Year Old Virgin" and discuss developments to come.

Sadly, this week we are down one panelist, as DANdy is on his honeymoon with the new Mrs. DANdy. He misses you and will return for the April 6 Round Table!

Gossip Guy and Mister Meester attempt to hold the fort by dissecting Gossip Girl quotes, last night's two big stories, Lily's lie, Jack's deceit and more below ...


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote last night?

Gossip Guy: For me, it's a tie between two of Blair's zingers. And what the heck, with no DANdy I can do two: "Settlements are for the guilty: celebrities that run people over, the Catholic church, it's not fair!" and "We have innocence, good breeding, and Doug Jarrett, one of the best lawyers in New York, on our side." Love her.

Mister Meester: In honor of my newlywed colleague, I'll pick what he would: Chuck's response to his lawyer telling him about the outraged Christian conservatives: "We have those in Manhattan?" Second place? Blair's response to the DNA evidence: "You've been watching too much CBS."

What, not a fan of NCIS, B?

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2. Which story line did you enjoy more, Jenny's or Chuck's?

Gossip Guy: Absolutely Chuck's. While it was cute that Jenny's story line seemed to pull everyone and their father into the equation, Chuck's brought back Jack Bass and featured the biggest shock at the end of the episode.

Mister Meester: Chuck's is great but a Jenny-centric episode was a nice change of pace and brought three different couples - Danessa, Serenate and Rily - into the fold, while also delving into their separate issues. Well played, GG. As for J, she obviously made the right choice, though part of me wishes she'd gone through with it just to see the fallout next week.

3. Harder to believe, Blair and Elizabeth reacting indignantly to the DNA test, Damien storming out on Jenny, or Serena wearing a dress with no cleavage?

Gossip Guy: While I was ready to strangle Blair at her trying to talk Chuck out of the DNA test, I couldn't even wrap my head around what Serena was wearing. Those are normally two of my favorite reasons for tuning in each week.

Mister Meester: I'm no Damien fan, but it seemed like he was kinda into Jenny ... maybe even to the point where he'd chill out about getting in her pants? Yes, I realize he is a d!ck, but I don't buy him taking off quite that abruptly. Oh, and don't let us down again, S.

4. Why do you think Lily is hiding the reason why she's seeing her ex?

Gossip Guy: Isn't it obvious? That scandalous bitch is exchanging sex for medical service and clearly Rufus would not be okay with this. Someone should tell her that Obama signed that health care reform bill. Lily's mom can finally get the insurance she needs!

Mister Meester: Perhaps something experimental Rufus would not agree with, like Lily being involved in a transplant of some kind? Nah, probably what Gossip Guy said.

Or they're straight up hitting it while he's been treating Cece and the two aren't related.

Huggin' It Out

All is well with Rufus and Lily ... for the next 11 minutes.

5. What do you think is Elizabeth and Jack's ultimate plan?

Mister Meester: Clearly they are in cahoots and want to hose Chuck out of money, but as we said in TVF's review, what's unclear to me are the following issues:

  1. How they can actually force him out, if the sexual harassment claims are frivolous and he only stepped down on an interim basis
  2. Whether the DNA test was faked or Elizabeth really is the mother
  3. If she is Chuck's mom, whether she'll have a change of heart, realizing that after abandoning Chuck his whole life, the least she can do is help him out against Jack. I least I hope that's what happens.

Gossip Guy: Right now I'm less concerned with the ultimate plan, which I assume is just taking over Chuck's inheritance they each feel entitled to, but more so how Elizabeth can be the worst human being alive. I get Jack. He's proved time and time again he's a scumbag (Go Rufus for standing up to him!) But really Elizabeth?

Absent from your son's life for 19 years, making him believe he killed his own mother, and now trying to steal his livelihood? There's a special place reserved in Hell for you.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


1. Quote-
Blair: Oh, and speaking of things we've shared. Nate! 2. Storyline-
Chuck's...it was written better then Jenny's 3. Blair & Elizabeth's reaction to the DNA test...That's sort of on par with Blair & Chuck's past way of dealing with things...and Elizabeth said last episode that she did not blame Chuck for hating her...now she thinks they're ready to start brading hair???? 4. What is Lily hiding?-
she's ill...and probably it falls into the relm of her ex husband's expertise....and she thinks she's dying, and she wants rufus to get used to dealing with all of those kids on his own.
(who knows...I'm hoping they suprise us with a real good SL) 5. The Ultimate plan-
Jack already stated....he's gonna run the Hotel into the ground...in order to take it away... (the same way Chuck took away Bass Industries from him). Elizabeth is in love with Jack, and is helping him in his scheme...just as Blair would help Chuck in one of his..... ( I still think she is Chuck's mother's twin)


4. Do people really not realize that it might be LILY who is sick? She's got some sort of dread disease and doesn't want to tell anyone. Explains the tears!" Wow, you could be right, and her mother never says "I should check in with the good Dr. Van Der Woodsen" she says "it's time to check back in with... etc." and also says "do it for me!" OMG it actually makes sense. It could be interesting. As long as they don't kill her off they could do some serious Grey's Anatomy drama with Lily.


4. Why do you think Lily is hiding the reason why she's seeing her ex? Gossip Guy: Isn't it obvious? That scandalous bitch is exchanging sex for medical service and clearly Rufus would not be okay with this. Someone should tell her that Obama signed that health care reform bill. Lily's mom can finally get the insurance she needs! You are so full of win.


Great Episode.
I felt that Dan's and Vanessa's relationship, or if you can call it that, was boring and had no meaning. What was the point of being friends with benefit?
I do feel bad for Jenny because for a second I thought Damien really did like her, like he seem to claim when Serena invited him over.
There is simply no room, and never was, for Serena's and Nate's problems because it gets boring very fast. They alway bring up ancient history and I don't feel like they they growing as a couple, nor do I wish for them to.
UGH! Jack came back. I HATE him soooooooooooo much. This man better not come in betweeen Chair. I hope Chuck and Blair takes him down once and for all. Also, wtf? Why is Chuck's mom teaming with Jack? And what is the deak with the lawyer. I must admit I did not see that coming. Where is Chuck's pi, Mike when you need him?
Chuck and Blair was amazing in this episode. The last scene was perfect, defintely the best way to wrap everything up. The struggle they had to face made them even better. I love the way Chuck looked when he walked into the gala and was talking to Lily. Seeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxyyyyyyyy. This couple truely is the best because they show would always end with them.
I can't wait for the nest episode. I hope Blair doesn't try to fight Jack by herself. If anything I want a Chair tag team to take him down.


Can we please go back to Dan looking like this!!!!


1. This time I'm going with a somewhat sappy one from Blair towards Chuck! "Not everyone's willing to wait 18 years for an 'I love you'" 2. Chuck's! I cant really elaborate because Jenny's was also awesome but Chuck's was just so good, like Gossip Guy said for bringing Jack into the picture and giving us a huge shock at the end! 3. I'm gonna say Damien storming out on Jenny! I applaud Serena for covering up... Its about time! And I as well was a little mad that B got mad at C for wanting a DNA test, She's been wrong about enough this season and I was sort of hoping when the truth came out Blair could say "I told you so!" lol. But Damien storming out on Jenny like that was definitely the most hard to believe! 4. I don't know? I think Mister Meester makes a good point... The one about the possibility of it being something "experimental Rufus would not agree with" like a "transplant of some kind?" but I also think there is a reason why the doctor has to be her baby daddy! I'll finish this how I began because everything in between is irrelevant... I don't know? 5. Who cares? I just want Blair to take there asses down or kick Elizabeth's ass to hell (that was for you Gossip Guy) Oh and I want Chuck to punch the crap out of Jack (preferably because of something involving Blair and not the Hotel) either way though... =)


This episode should've been called "The age of innocence".
I hated Chuck's and Jenny's attitudes during the episode. Jenny for telling Nate that Damien was a drug dealer...yeah, like he would keep that bomb to himself. It was almost like she knew the end before the beggining...
And Chuck...what a huge disappointment. I thought he knew better. Since when a matching DNA result means that a person can be trusted? Specially someone who has been gone for 18 years...


It really bummed me out the fact that Chuck's mom turned out to be a bitch. So anti-climatic, not to say sadly predictable.


THAT HUSSY! Maybe Bart paid Chuck's mom away with good reason! Bart may have been a business tycoon incapable of showing his emotions doesn't mean he doesn't have them-- He probably was doing a good-parent thing, but the wrong way because I think we can establish from last season and Bart leaving the hotel to Chuck that Bart did love Chuck, or at least cared for him.


1.I gotta go with Waldorf Goodness here : "Settlements are for the guilty: Celebreties that run people over, the Catholic church, it's not fair!" Thank you B. I love you! 2. Do you even have to ask? Jenny's storyline involved Serena giving advice on relationship and virginity matters! How could I possibly be enjoying that?! 3. Serena wearing a dress with fake cleavage. 4. Who cares? 5. Totally agree with Gossip Guy! There is a special place for you in hell, Fisher!

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Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 15 Quotes

Oh, and speaking of things we've shared. Nate!


There's always a moment a father just can't let himself fear. The moment is little J decides to lose her big V.

Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 15 Music

  Song Artist
Song So Light Is Her Footfall Air iTunes
Ive had the time of my life (I've Had) The Time of My Life Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes iTunes
Hungry eyes Hungry Eyes Eric Carmen iTunes