Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Sixteen Year Old Virgin"

at . Comments

Welcome to TV Fanatic's Gossip Girl Round Table, where we gather to review the events of "The Sixteen Year Old Virgin" and discuss developments to come.

Sadly, this week we are down one panelist, as DANdy is on his honeymoon with the new Mrs. DANdy. He misses you and will return for the April 6 Round Table!

Gossip Guy and Mister Meester attempt to hold the fort by dissecting Gossip Girl quotes, last night's two big stories, Lily's lie, Jack's deceit and more below ...


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote last night?

Gossip Guy: For me, it's a tie between two of Blair's zingers. And what the heck, with no DANdy I can do two: "Settlements are for the guilty: celebrities that run people over, the Catholic church, it's not fair!" and "We have innocence, good breeding, and Doug Jarrett, one of the best lawyers in New York, on our side." Love her.

Mister Meester: In honor of my newlywed colleague, I'll pick what he would: Chuck's response to his lawyer telling him about the outraged Christian conservatives: "We have those in Manhattan?" Second place? Blair's response to the DNA evidence: "You've been watching too much CBS."

What, not a fan of NCIS, B?

GG RT Logo

2. Which story line did you enjoy more, Jenny's or Chuck's?

Gossip Guy: Absolutely Chuck's. While it was cute that Jenny's story line seemed to pull everyone and their father into the equation, Chuck's brought back Jack Bass and featured the biggest shock at the end of the episode.

Mister Meester: Chuck's is great but a Jenny-centric episode was a nice change of pace and brought three different couples - Danessa, Serenate and Rily - into the fold, while also delving into their separate issues. Well played, GG. As for J, she obviously made the right choice, though part of me wishes she'd gone through with it just to see the fallout next week.

3. Harder to believe, Blair and Elizabeth reacting indignantly to the DNA test, Damien storming out on Jenny, or Serena wearing a dress with no cleavage?

Gossip Guy: While I was ready to strangle Blair at her trying to talk Chuck out of the DNA test, I couldn't even wrap my head around what Serena was wearing. Those are normally two of my favorite reasons for tuning in each week.

Mister Meester: I'm no Damien fan, but it seemed like he was kinda into Jenny ... maybe even to the point where he'd chill out about getting in her pants? Yes, I realize he is a d!ck, but I don't buy him taking off quite that abruptly. Oh, and don't let us down again, S.

4. Why do you think Lily is hiding the reason why she's seeing her ex?

Gossip Guy: Isn't it obvious? That scandalous bitch is exchanging sex for medical service and clearly Rufus would not be okay with this. Someone should tell her that Obama signed that health care reform bill. Lily's mom can finally get the insurance she needs!

Mister Meester: Perhaps something experimental Rufus would not agree with, like Lily being involved in a transplant of some kind? Nah, probably what Gossip Guy said.

Or they're straight up hitting it while he's been treating Cece and the two aren't related.

Huggin' It Out

All is well with Rufus and Lily ... for the next 11 minutes.

5. What do you think is Elizabeth and Jack's ultimate plan?

Mister Meester: Clearly they are in cahoots and want to hose Chuck out of money, but as we said in TVF's review, what's unclear to me are the following issues:

  1. How they can actually force him out, if the sexual harassment claims are frivolous and he only stepped down on an interim basis
  2. Whether the DNA test was faked or Elizabeth really is the mother
  3. If she is Chuck's mom, whether she'll have a change of heart, realizing that after abandoning Chuck his whole life, the least she can do is help him out against Jack. I least I hope that's what happens.

Gossip Guy: Right now I'm less concerned with the ultimate plan, which I assume is just taking over Chuck's inheritance they each feel entitled to, but more so how Elizabeth can be the worst human being alive. I get Jack. He's proved time and time again he's a scumbag (Go Rufus for standing up to him!) But really Elizabeth?

Absent from your son's life for 19 years, making him believe he killed his own mother, and now trying to steal his livelihood? There's a special place reserved in Hell for you.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


lily is pregnant......


Just gonna repost my thoughts about this from one of the other threads: Jack is a BASSterd, make no mistake LOL So--the DNA test. I believe that Jack fed Chuck's doubt about his mother in order to push him to 'prove' it was his mother--the DNA test. By refueling Chuck's doubt with the reminders about seeing his mother in her casket, etc., Jack ensured that Chuck would start doubting the veracity of Elizabeth's story and need absolute proof that she is his mother, hence the DNA test. The other part of the push comes from Eliz. saying that Bart loved purple (planting a seed of doubt again because Chuck believed his father loathed purple--and how could his mother get that wrong) and her feigning upset when she confronted Chuck about going to do the DNA test behind her back. By not giving her blessing for the test, she again flamed the doubts Chuck had. DNA test was faked. If Jack can get a fake liquor license, he can get a fake DNA test result. Interesting that the lawyer was in on this--I guess he wasn't a regular in Bart's long-standing retinue of legal counsel or else he sold out.


1. Jack and the meth, pills, and alcohol. Then the smirky "it was worth a shot." LOL!
2. Jenny's by far. Chuck is too condescending towards Blair and it spoils his sls.
3. Chuck's. Blair's not an idiot. If she's really his mom, E wouldn't be insulted. She would want to prove herself to him after being absent so long. Plot fail on both accounts.
4. Do people really not realize that it might be LILY who is sick? She's got some sort of dread disease and doesn't want to tell anyone. Explains the tears!
5. The commenters here are crazy. I let out a "HALLELUJAH!" with the scene with Jack. The whole mother-is-alive-happy-love-and-joy-and-bonding thing is cheesy. I think she's a fake. You could tell they faked the test, too. The lawyer man who was supposed to be doing the test was in on it as well. Plus, the polymerase chain reaction to amplify the DNA for testing would take several days. I can believe Chuck not realizing, but the CW [hopefully] would have realized before making such a big mistake. It would work out if they had just made up the results, though.
So stop hating Elizabeth! She's not his mother!! This sl is redeeming her fail-iness. As for the ultimate plan, MAJOR DRAMA is all I can think of! ;)


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote last night? There’s one that I died laughing on…and I can’t even remember it! Let the show go on: Doug: We're getting attacked by Christian conservatives.
Chuck: We have those in Manhattan? Rufus: If he were a vampire, I could slip garlic in her waffles or something. Not that she would eat them anyway. Vanessa: [to Dan] By the way, I'm not wearing any underwear.
I know everyone hates Vanessa, but classic quote here. Maybe her only best one. She’s never really funny. 2. Which story line did you enjoy more, Jenny's or Chuck's?
Gee. I was sub-par interested in Chuck’s. Jenny’s was the central plot point. So, yeah, I’ll go with Jenny’s. 3. Harder to believe, Blair and Elizabeth reacting indignantly to the DNA test, Damien storming out on Jenny, or Serena wearing a dress with no cleavage? Hello, the woman’s supposed to be dead. So, Chuck wants to verify before he opens his heart to her. And on the whole Damien thing, yes, it did seem like he was into Jenny but we all know guys think with their head…their little head, that is. 4. Why do you think Lily is hiding the reason why she's seeing her ex? I’m not sure. I don’t like predicting because I’m half the time uncertain. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, just waiting to see. 5. What do you think is Elizabeth and Jack's ultimate plan? Elizabeth has Chuck fooled. Maybe that’s how he got the DNA sample back so quickly. Jack’s behind it. Or maybe Jack took the sample. Don’t like the duo, but they have Chuck fooled.


has chuck's lawyer turned against him too????


sorry i cant believe elizabeth is really his mother. chucks mom always was described as so perfect, bart bass being so madly in love with her,...maybe its naive but i find it hard to believe that theyd change a characters image that much!


agree with the rest
hate Elizabeth!!!

Xoxo bethany

elizabeth should die.


Interesting theory Rae... maybe Elizabeth is a double agent but I have more of a feeling she's evil- maybe that's why Bart had chased her off in the first place. Like maybe she had gotten pregnant with Chuck in an attempt to force Bart into paying her off. This would explain why Bart had such a hard time accepting Chuck especially when he behaved badly because he'd see that as Elizabeth's bad side coming out.


If Elizabeth really is his mom, then it seems Chuck got his sweet side from Bart. Because that woman has no conscience.

Tags: ,

Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 15 Quotes

There's always a moment a father just can't let himself fear. The moment is little J decides to lose her big V.

Gossip Girl

Vanessa: Actually, The dorm is throwing this huge South Beach party today..
Dan: Great, I love parties.
Vanessa: And I'm going with Paul..
Dan: I love Paul!

Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 15 Music

  Song Artist
Song So Light Is Her Footfall Air iTunes
Ive had the time of my life (I've Had) The Time of My Life Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes iTunes
Hungry eyes Hungry Eyes Eric Carmen iTunes