Coke vs. Pepsi. Chicken vs. Fish. Yankees vs. Red Sox. "Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter." For Jack Donaghy, his love for Avery and Nancy boils down to these age-old debates.

Which woman does he want to be with? It's like choosing one of the above options ... each represents something so different, yet so desirable. His heart yearns for both.

Doesn't everybody's yearn for Derek Jeter, though? Is this really that tough?

While not our favorite episode of all time, we do enjoy both Elizabeth Banks and Julianne Moore, and the idea that Jack is smitten with two attractive, different ladies.

He definitely has a tendency to branch out, that's for sure. Speaking of branching out, as in out of her comfort zone, Liz Lemon has been hitting the singles scene. Hard.

At the YMCA.

Jenna accompanied her, naturally, totally not out of moral support. Does Jenna ever do anything out of moral support, and would we love her as much if she did?

Jack ponders life with Avery ... and Nancy. Then Avery, then Nancy ...

While Liz is out on her campaign to meet someone and engaging in the usual activities - dodgeball, wine, cheese, fart suppression - Toofer quits the writing staff at TGS.

He bails because he believes he's only there because of affirmative action, prompting the predictable hilarious comments from Tracy and an interesting revelation by Liz.

This was only half (the funnier half, it turned out, if only because it came first) of last night's 30 Rock double feature, continuing in "Khonani," which we'll review shortly.

Follow the jump for some 30 Rock quotes from "Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter" ...

Will Ferrell: Happy Birthday, bitches! | permalink

Jenna: Jarem! Look how drunk I am! And how full of cheese my mouth is! | permalink

Pete: Tiana, Mulan, Pocahantas, Jasmine — wow, she's right! | permalink

Avery: Sure, people in this restaurant might think you're my dad -
Jack: Or that you're my prostitute. | permalink

Nancy: Can we wait until the morning to fool around? Cause I'm exhausted and I got the night bloats. | permalink

Tracy: Get ready, son. All you've ever known is your affirmative action job and Queen Latifah Cover Girl commercials. | permalink

Liz: Mrs. Doubtfire shimself could not do this. | permalink

Jack: As my good friend and fox hunting partner Mary J. Blige would say 'No more drama.' | permalink

Liz: Then tomorrow is the wine and cheese tasting ... or as I like to call it, 'singles fart suppression.' | permalink

Tracy: I've learned the word 'black' in every language, just so I know when to be offended. | permalink

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.