Melrose Place Review: "Sepulveda"
In the second to last episode of the first and possibly final season of Melrose Place, David learned the downside of club ownership and Ella sought to unmask her enemy.
Elsewhere, Lauren totally feels bad about being a ho, love triangles are heating up and Nick Zano enjoys being shirtless. That's pretty much "Sepulveda" in a nutshell.
Uncover freakout: Ella tries to persuade Jonah to help her infiltrate Amanda's plan to oust her at WPK, but Jonah, being a freaking moron, is unmoved by her tactics.
Seriously, dude. Look at Katie Cassidy in that getup. Gulp.
He keeps lecturing her that another illegal act won't do any good and blah, blah, blah. Ella thus turns to Gabe the nerd to gain access to the computers at the office.
We're not stereotyping IT guys at all here, no.
The hotness that is Melrose Place requires no caption.
After eventually procuring the key, David helps Ella break into WPK but their access is denied. But since David's there, they just break into Amanda's office and discover a file on Sydney Andrews, with a photo of a painting that went missing. The plot thickens!
Outcast: Ella and Jonah ultimately make up, which is cute, we guess. A good thing too, for him, 'cause Jonah is helming his own screenplay now, with casting woes galore.
Simon and Jonah aren't seeing eye to eye, and just like that, Simon kicks Jonah off the project. Steamed, Jonah wants his movie back and will do anything to get it.
Too bad it's Curtis Heller's movie now. Welcome to Hollywood, dumbass.
Coal hearted snake: New owner David fires a chef, who takes a bunch of staff with him, leaving Coal in disarray. Almost as f**ked up as his relationship with Lauren.
Trying hard to make good, Lauren lends a hand, giving out free drinks to guests. Ella of course isn't buying Lauren's "good girlfriend" routine, sensing ulterior motives.
David recruits her to help out and she meets Bernadette Reese, one of the most important food critics in L.A. Instantly, Ella does what Ella does best: Go all PR on us.
Basically running point on everything the critic receives or does, Ella saves David's a$$ after he somehow gets a good review. He and Lauren smooth things over too.
Riley and Drew: Because they lack a couple name, we'll just call them the hot actors played by Jessica Lucas and Nick Zano. We see the pair stargazing in the pool.
So many people we know do that all the time.
Jonah also walks in on them while they're making out, firing this love triangle back up again. But if Jonah still has Riley's heart, at least Drew can get a party started.
Riley's fundraiser started off stagnant but found life thanks to him. But jealous rears its ugly head again soon enough when Jonah's donation is receiving some bids.
Drew has the idea to auction off a private show with his band, which doesn't take, so he resorts to ... a date with Riles! How much would anyone pay for that, though?
Apparently $2,000, and your winner is ... Ella Sims! LOL.
The cheese dial then cranks up to 11 when Jonah confesses to Riley that he couldn't cast her part in the movie because "no one was good enough" (barf) and Drew and Riley frolic in slow motion after they make up. Do your eyes hurt from rolling so hard?
One final, intriguing wrinkle involving Drew comes when he is unable to save a patient, but Lauren busts him drawing blood from the dead body after the fact. Uhhh.
He insists something's not right with one of the procedures that were done on the patient, and wants to get to the bottom of it. But what's Lauren's next move?
Did you like last night's episode? Is the show going well enough to warrant a Season 2 renewal? Sound off on Melrose Place in the comments!