Apologies in advance dear readers, because instead of the thoughtful, hilarious review that you’re used to seeing from M.L. House, today you’re getting a random stream of consciousness review from me, the Mrs. M.L. House! You can just think of us like my favorite Glee couple, as I often do.

I’m like Rachel (a little bossy here and there, and I really love my own singing voice), and the Mr. M.L. can be Finn (since Jesse is SO out of the picture). Plus, I often daydream that Mr. M.L. is both a fabulous singer and the star football player like Finn. *Sigh*

Anyway, onward we go with the review of "Funk."

Ohhh, that liar Jesse! Even though we saw this coming for episodes, I had been hoping that Jesse would at least show some conflicting emotions when he threw Rachel and New Directions under the proverbial bus. The least he could have done was tell Rachel the same heartfelt speech he gave Shelby a couple episodes ago. I believed it back then... now I’m not so sure he ever really cared about her.

Either way, I hope that by the end of the season he is BEGGING Rachel to get back with him, so she can break his heart right back, and kick his butt at Regionals on top of it. In my head, I say the name “Jesse St James” with the meanest possible voice I can imagine. He’s Despicable with a capital D.

Now, onto Quinn: I appreciate her plight and can stand by the message that Glee is trying to send with her plotline, but WHAT was going on with her funk this week? First of all, there are 7 very pregnant girls at McKinley High? Shouldn’t the school start doing some sex ed or abstinence training or something?

Secondly, I love pregnancy, I love babies, and I love high-schoolers (except for a few I won’t name here, ahem), but I found Quinn’s song (and the backup dancers) kind of weird in general. I mean, pregnant 16 year olds shouldn’t be gyrating around in front of their peers. Aren’t there other ways to express the difficulties of teen pregnancy, Quinn?

Personally, I can’t wait till Quinn has the baby and we get this plotline over with. I kind of liked her better when she was mean and a Cheerio and stirring up things with Puck and Finn and Rachel.

Of course when Sue dresses up she just puts on a strand of pearls with her track suit, ha! The entire date scene/Sue’s house scene was fabulous. I like how each of her track suits have their own mannequin to hang on – like they’re too good for an ordinary hanger.  So so so so so funny. Meanwhile, which trophy do you think Sue was hugging in bed? It must be a recent Cheerio one, right?

Another thing I loved during this episode - Puck and Finn’s camaraderie. “Loser” was hot!!! It renewed my Puck and Finn Fever. And then the Puck/Finn encore with Mercedes to “Good Vibrations” I was crushing hard. And am still thinking about Finn in that tank top.

At the end, when Jesse waved to Rachel across the parking lot, I thought he was going to get hit by a bus a’la Mean Girls. And then he breaks an egg on her face– heartless. Also unsanitary, as my roommate Tara pointed out. Wash that egg off your lip immediately girl! Salmonella doesn’t go well with a broken heart. Poor Rachel.  But I loved Jesse’s face during the funkification – how do you like them apples, Jesse?

One last thing, and I can’t believe M.L. House hasn’t mentioned it ever because I talk about it like every week, but HOW GOOD OF A DANCER IS MIKE!?!?!??!!?! He wasn’t on that much in this episode, but he’s been on in the past, and I could watch him 24/7. Kid has got moves!

So that’s all from me. Next week you’ll be back to your regularly scheduled programming with Mr. M.L. House and his reviews.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Ha, Just kidding! Was great to be here, byeeeeee! Some Glee quotes from the episode appear below ...

Sue: And that gay terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. | permalink

Kurt: I'm so depressed I've worn the same outfit twice this week. | permalink

Mr Harrison: Where's my music? How am I supposed to shop without my Kenny G? | permalink

Puck: You're not going to fondle us, are you Mr. Harrison? | permalink

Sue: Hot Cheetos have been proven to raise endorphins and make happy kids, and I can't have that. | permalink

Rachel: Do it. Break it like you broke my heart. | permalink

Sue: Will I'm not going to do this. Even your breath stinks of mediocrity. | permalink

Sue: I'm all about finding a freakish depressed kid and showing them what winning's all about. | permalink

Rachel: Now I just keep having nightmares of all of the mother's of the little baby chicks coming at me for revenge. | permalink

Terri: I have this compulsive need to crush other people's dreams. Finn: Yeah that's what Mr. Shu said. | permalink

Quinn (on regrets): Thinking "trust me" was a sensible birth control option. | permalink

Artie: They call it a funkification, meaning they show us what they've got and we spiral into a deep cloud of funk. | permalink

Sue: I want it to look like Elvis' gold record room at Graceland, except I'll be wanting far few morbidly obese women wandering around. | permalink

Sue: You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent. | permalink

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.