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Grey's Anatomy Question: Is the Post-it Wedding Legal?

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Many Grey’s Anatomy fans remain confused about Meredith and Derek, and the legitimacy of their post-it wedding. They certainly act like, and are referenced as, husband and wife.

Are they really married, though?

Fancast's spoiler Q&A says that if you doubted the legal legitimacy of Mer and Der's nuptials, your instincts were spot on, as the two were never and are not legally married.

Aformal wedding between the two is likely never to be seen. “I get why the fans want it; I’d probably want it too if I was just watching,” show boss Shonda Rhimes told EW.

“But I literally feel sick every time I think about Meredith in a big white poufy dress.”

That we understand, her opposition to the wedding commercialization, and the white dress as the end-all, be-all of female existence. But should they make it legal at least?

Der and Mer Love

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Annonymouse - well you'd better dive back into that hole you just came from then. Bye . . . don't come back now!

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inlovewithPatrickDempsey - sorry, they aren't married and they aren't husband and wife as far as I'm concerned . . . deal with it!

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@inlovewithPatrickDempsey: Normally, I wouldn't mind people have different point of views - it's what keeps the topic interesting. What I do have a problem with is when people start condemning others for HAVING different opinions. Those of us who disagree with MerDer's so-called marriage don't need to 'shut up.' If we did, you wouldn't be here having your argument. The wide range of opinions is what keeps it fun and engaging; you may need to tone down your rage a bit if you're even gonna take this seriously. As you have stated, this is Shonda's show and she should be allowed to do what she wants. Now I'm gonna ask you: what if she planned on having either Derek or Meredith placed in a coma and be taken off life support? That would be a 'horrible storyline' for you and you would probably be here ranting about it. Just because it's her show, that doesn't mean people are going to agree with her all the way. Whether it's a show, movie or book, the conversation would go nowhere if people kept on saying, "Let the producers and writers do what they want because it's their product!" Sorry, but fan opinion matter too. No one's saying Meredith and Derek don't have rights to call each other husband and wife or have a pretend-marriage - we're just saying it's childish.

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@Anonnymouse: Then you aren't exactly doing a good job at following your own advice.

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Aaahh misery loves company. If you don't like the show, don't watch it. Why waste your time bitching about the same stuff over and over again? You people need to get lives, seriously, if this is what you spend your time doing.

Inlovewithpatrickdempsey

guys... shut up. it's Shonda's Show.... let her do what she wants with it. The characters are her family, she created them. She is allowed to give the characters the life she wants. She can decide where it goes. If she doesn't want mer in a dress.... then she doesn't have to be. If she doesn't want them to have a legalized marriage, then they won't. Sure, i would like to see Mcdreamy with the love of his life lusty intern happy and together legally (that would make a horrible storyline if one of them was in a coma, and they would take her off life support unless a fam. member would sign otherwise... seeing as she got no fam other then derek.. who would sign) you know. There is a want in my heart... because i personally see it as the right thing to do... to grow up get married. But they have chosen to be partners instead of legally married. To all of you who are pissed off at why they call eachother husband and wife... They are. they are husband and wife. They are MARRIED.
The definition of marriage is 'the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife'. TYPICALLY recognized by law, that therefore means they are MARRIED. They aren't legally married, but they are still married. They do have the right to call eachother husband and wife. Stop making a big deal of this, and try and see things from Shonda's point of view. and instead of complaining to a website where no one fomr Grey's will ever read it... TRUST Shonda who has brought us 6 great years of TV. She might give you something you want... you need to wait. This was an idea she thought good.... so she probably has an idea of where this is going to go.

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team merder13 i couldnt have put it better myself

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Ok well i just see Shonda being a little selfish on this subject i have no problem with a post it note wedding but apparently some other fans aren't. She may not be able to see meredith in a wedding dress or anything but we can and she doesn't even have to wear a wedding dress they could do the whole get married in the hospital thing wearing scrubs and her bouque could be made out of scalpels and retractors like they said in one episode i mean come on give us anything that would legally make them married

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Shonda is really ticking me off! It would be so easy for them to go to city hall and get there marriage legalized. I could care less if mer and derek get there post it legal but it makes me mad that shonda thinks that that is the only way to get married.

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Janey, Calm down and stop shouting! Of course they're not legally married. To claim otherwise is silly. If Merder want to be in a post-it relationship then so be it but just recognise it for what it is. In reality, they are a de facto couple "partners" - not "husband and wife". Also, why do the anti-marriage brigade always go on about a wedding dress?? That's got nothing to do with the essence of this debate, merely a red herring!

Grey's Anatomy Quotes

Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."

Meredith (closing voiceover)

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.

Meredith
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