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The Vampire Diaries Caption Contest 18

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Welcome back, fans, to the 18th edition of The Vampire Diaries Caption Contest.

This week's Caption Contest winner is M. Plz. Congratulations and well done!

The winning entry, in all its melancholy and contemplative glory, appears below.

Honorable mentions for this week go out to May, Laura and VDluv.

Thanks to everyone for playing and good luck again next time!

Drunk Damon

Dear Journal,
Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer.
And then at the parade,disaster. It was unmistakable.
Stefan and Elena are totally in love.
"Stelena." Everytime I try to destroy this cute and adorable, while sickening and annoying relationship it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain.
Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of doughy misshapen teens.
Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course its not me. Its Stefan. What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday. Of course. Its coming clear to me now.
If I can't destroy this relationship, I will have to destroy the man!

Matt Richenthal is the Editor in Chief of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter and on Google+.

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who could A possibly be? Katherine?

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Geez, if one more person says I look like a young Rob Lowe, or an older Chase Crawford, I'm going to bite them.

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damon : elana or katherine,, elana or katherine,, elana or katherine,, elana or katherine,, OMG !! ill have both!

Rileyford

Damon: I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Elena .. I need to stop watching Twilight ..

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Damon: I am so done. I am not gonna think about the ending of Inception. I am not - Cobb was soo dreaming... or MAYBE he was awake. Damn it, I just thought about it! Curse you, Nolan.

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maybe

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*Damon in the bar*
Damon dreamily thinking: Elena...Elena...Elena... *Elena at home*
Elena dreamily thinking: Stefan...Stefan...Damon......No. I mean Stefan. Stefan. Ste-FAN.

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Bartender: Drowning your sorrows with a glass of scotch? Again?
Damon (not looking up): Mmm..hmmm
Bartender: Oh alright. What happened this time?
Damon: I can't shut it off anymore. I used to be able too. But she's there in my thouhts. I can't shut it off anymore.
Baretender (kindly): What, kid?
Damon: It.
Bartender 'Coughs': I change my mind. I don't want to know.

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Damon: Ah, my head.
Bartender: I thought you never got headaches. Or hangovers. Or intoxicated.
Damon: God, let a guy pretend to be human will you? Jeesh.

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Damon: I'm telling you I kissed Elena Gilbert!
Bartender: Yeah right. And I'm the Queen of England.
Damon: AND she kissed me back!
Bartender: Kid, I think you should take it easy on the shots- you're having halucinations...
Damon(putting his head in his hands): And then I saw Elena stab Jonanthan Gilbert with a kitchen knife!
Bartender: That's it. No more liquor for you. Ever.