Classic TV Quotes: Gilmore Girls Season Two
Gilmore Girls returned in 2001 with a second season that opened with Lorelai accepting Max's proposal. Fans of course knew this wasn't go to last, as the only wedding during season two would be between Sookie and Jackson in the finale.
Season two also introduced us to Luke's bad boy nephew, Jess, and a potential thorn in her relationship with Dean. There were also plenty more major changes including Richard quitting his job and starting a consulting company, Lorelai graduating business school and discussing her plans to start her own Inn, and even Christopher returning multiple times.
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Here are just some of our favorites from season two:
Luke: But who knows how long you'll work after you're married.
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Luke: But you probably already talked about that, right?
Lorelai: No, but I do think he and my father have come to an agreement on how many goats I'm worth. | permalink
Richard: You know, when I was ten years old I knew exactly where I wanted to work.
Lorelai: Well, that's because you were always picked last for dodgeball. | permalink
Man: That's a hammer?
Rory: Well, it's just dressed up a little.
Man: You dressed up a hammer?
Rory: No, my mother did. She does that. She, um, she takes thinks that aren't pretty and makes them pretty, like a hammer, you know. One time she made individual outfits for my liquid paper bottles. A clown, a cowboy, a newscaster. She's not insane, she just sounds it. | permalink
Lorelai: Okay, I think we just found the first room in the history of the world that would've made Liberace say, "Whoa! Step back! No one's that gay". | permalink
Jess: Want to bail?
Jess: How come?
Rory: Because it's Tuesday night in Stars Hollow. There's nowhere to bail to. The 24-hour mini mart just closed 20 minutes ago. | permalink
Rory: So, did you know that you're considered a hot dad?
Rory: Libby said that it's too bad that you're my real dad, because if you were my stepdad, I could steal you away from Mom.
Christopher: That Libby's got a good life ahead of her. | permalink
Francie: Don't you have a nickname?
Rory: Well. Rory is a nickname. My real name is Lorelai.
Lem: Lorelai? That's a weird name!
Rory: Well Lem.. what can I say! | permalink
Luke: Jess, this is Mia. She owns the Independence Inn.
Luke: That's "hello, nice to meet you" in slacker. | permalink
Lorelai: Hey Mom, you didn't make it back to the room last night. Did you get lucky?
Emily: Could you be any cruder?
Lorelai: Yeah, I could be cruder. Hey Mom, did you get lai...
Rory: Thanks for coming! | permalink
Lorelai: People have too many things.
Rory: Says the woman with 64 pairs of shoes.
Lorelai: Thus proving my point. | permalink
Richard: Who's going to help Rory get into Harvard?
Lorelai: Reese Witherspoon. | permalink
Miss Patty: Listen darling, do you happen to have change for a dollar?
Lorelai: I think so.
Miss Patty: I don't know where my quarters go.
Lorelai: Down some guy's g-string, I would expect.
Miss Patty: Oh no, a quarter would be insulting. | permalink
Michel: That fellow's on the phone from the restaurant.
Michel: The flannel man with the protruding ankles.
Lorelai: Oh, Luke?
Michel: I forgot his name from the desk to here, that's how memorable he is. | permalink
Rory: Would you really feel guilty?
Lorelai: No, but I'd feel guilty about not feeling guilty, and you see how that could go on forever. | permalink
Mr. Merten: Every baseball on campus seems to have disappeared.
Luke: Oh, come on, you don't think Jess seriously... I'll check when I get home. | permalink
Rory: You know, there will be food there.
Lorelai: Finger food, aka snooty little balls of attitude!
Rory: Oh boy.
Lorelai: I need real food, peasant food, hearty bread, meat, cheese, little pickle chips, sauce, a special sauce. This is the food that sustains me, this is the food of my...
Rory: Oh my God, just eat the burger already!
Lorelai: How crabby!
Rory: I'm not crabby.
Lorelai: I didn't even get through my special sauce speech. That's crabby. | permalink
Man: Excuse me, I'm so sorry to bother you. Which way is 44th?
Rory: Oh, um, that way.
Man: Great, thanks.
Rory: I got asked directions.
Jess: I saw.
Rory: He took me for a native. That's so cool.
Jess: That's very impressive. Forty-fourth's the other way. | permalink
Lorelai: But I'm here now and hey, I'm like cheese.
Rory: She gets better with time. | permalink
Dean: (Referring to Babette and Miss Patty singing) So, how many cocktails caused that?
Rory: Oh, they haven't had any cocktails yet.
Rory: Oh yeah, when they start having cocktails we're gonna have to hide you. | permalink
Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.