Jersey Shore Review: "Breaking Up"
Breaking up is hard to do for anyone. For Sammi and Ronnie on Jersey Shore, it's just not happening no matter what. Seriously, she will not drop this loser, period.
We would feel worse if she weren't so pathetic or were more likable. Her own friends seem conflicted regarding whether they should tell her, too. Not a good sign.
Ron's creepin' on random hoes has taken over this season, and Sammi is either oblivious, really pathetic, or both. But Snooki and J-Woww aren't standing for it.
The girls decide to pen an anonymous letter - so secretive that they write "breasts" instead of other terminology to mask their identities - containing the truth.
Will Sam open it? Will Ronnie ever sober up? We'll have to wait and see, but this guy has been a mess beyond belief so far. Just flat-out plastered every night!
At least he's not half-assing this thing ...
As usual, Sammi and Ronnie overshadow the good things about Jersey Shore.
Unfortunately, this story line is kind of played out (letter aside), and unless J-Woww steps in to fight Ronnie or Sammi grows a spine, we're getting a little tired of it.
The drama even overshadowed the other significant event of the night, which was Snooki's boyfriend Emilio cheating on her, or so it appears, back in New York City.
J-Woww tore him a new one on the phone and after a series of angry calls, a drunken gorilla juicehead was officially put in his place and our girl Snook is single again.
We think. Hard to say. All we know is that it was hilarious to watch, especially having already listened to this guy complain in real life that he got dumped for no reason.
Some other highlights from last night's installment of the MTV show ...
- The ice cream store, again, with Vinny and Pauly D mackin' customers.
- The Situation channeling Snooki and making a disaster out of dinner.
- Situation dropping more acronyms than we can follow (see below).
Follow the jump for tons of Jersey Shore quotes from last night ...
Snooki: You farted and it's coming in my mouth & nose.
Angelina: Oops. | permalink
The Situation: You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast. | permalink
The Situation: Ronnie doesn't want to give up his cookie, and that's Sam. You need to give up your cookie, son, so you can go find another one. I'm eatin' chocolate chip cookies every night, dog. | permalink
Ronnie: She's beating a dead horse at this point. At some point when the horse is dead you gotta leave it alone. | permalink
Vinny: I swear to God that looks like a garbage bag! I think Victoria should have kept this one a Secret. | permalink
Ronnie: Angelina... she's got diarrhea of the mouth.. I was like mind your business ... I gotta deal with Sam, you're gonna have to deal with me. | permalink
Sammi: I specifically didn't go out because I was waiting for you at home. Like a bitch.
Ronnie: You are a bitch. | permalink
Ronnie: I don't like tests, that's why I didn't go to college... don't test me, 'cause I will fail a majority of the time. | permalink
JWoww: [on phone to Emilio] So while you're f*%kin' them nasty bitches up there, I'll sure Nicole's gonna get it in down here. So at the end of the day you lose her as it is, and you're still a drunk skank with no job. | permalink
JWoww: [on phone to Emilio] I will call the cops on you if you call again or I will take the next flight out to f*%kin' New York to beat your ass. | permalink
Snooki: Eventually Sammi's gonna find out, and ... I don't know what to do. It's just a big ball of f*%kness. That's a new word: f*%kness. | permalink
Snooki: White's in in Miami... what if you get your period? It's ruined. | permalink
The Situation: Ronnie is feeding steaming ALPO to Sam, on a plate, 'cause he's doggin' her so much. | permalink
Snooki: It's not a good idea to come in here with a boyfriend. | permalink
Snooki: Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to treat women, and I feel like this is why the lesbian rate is going up in this country. | permalink
Emilio: [to Snooki] There's half naked girls everywhere. Whatever. Peace. Bye. | permalink
Sammi: Ron ... compose yourself. | permalink
Pauly D: She had summer teeth. Some are like this... and some are like that. | permalink
The Situation: Ron is the President of the I-double-F. | permalink
JWoww: [typing] Ron made out with two girls and put his head between the waitress' breasts. Boing. | permalink
Vinny: Do we have a butter face flavor anywhere? | permalink
Vinny: I'm in Miami. I don't want girls studying for finals. I want girls studying for $%*k! | permalink
Ronnie: [wasted] I don't hate you because I love you. | permalink
Ronnie: [wasted] I don't need you. I don't NEED you. | permalink