On “Lady Liberty,” Amy and Ricky spent an hour trying to stay mum on their time together in New York.  This was unfortunate for Ben and Adrian, who are desperate to get back with their former counterparts.

Adrian called Amy to try and dig information out of her.  But Amy’s not falling for Adrian’s obsessive transparent act.  She tried to be nice as Adrian talks about Ben being “good in bed,” but Amy knew it was a rouse.  She told Adrian “we didn’t have much time to talk about you.” Oh, snap! Amy seems like a whole different person these days.

Ben continues to be a whiny little bitch.  He attacks Ricky in the butcher shop when Ricky won’t tell him about New York.  Ben gets fired from his own family business.  Did he really think he could take Ricky anyway? I mean come on, even with a sneak attack there’s no way.

[Photo: ABC Family]

Ricky says he wants to go to therapy and asks the Juergens to watch John for an hour.  Ashley tries to confront him and fight with him, but I honestly tuned out a little bit.  She’s so annoying, her voice drills into my head and I feel like I’m stuck in the Twilight Zone.

Back to Ricky: As he heads to his car, Adrian intercepts him and tries to brainwash him as usual.  She needs to stop messing with everyone’s lives.  Ricky would’ve gone to therapy until Adrian got into his head.  She’s so pathetic saying he can be whatever he wants to be with her and that she knows the real him.  Basically she was saying “you can go bang whoever you want, lie and cheat, just do it with me!” Sad.

Thanks to her meddling, Ricky self destructed and went and slept with some random girl.

Madison and Lauren are caught in their big sleepover lie.  Lauren’s dad wants her to break up with Jesse and Madison’s dad wants her to break up with Jack.  When she protests that she wants to spend a week with Jack’s family in Arizona and her father says no, Madison stomps her foot like the little child that she is.  What a great way for her to prove she’s an adult!

Both of the girls complain to Amy about the situation.  They are their usual selfish selves and Amy barely gets a word in.  Her NY friends, who I love by the way, come downstairs and tell her that they’re taking her out and to stop checking her phone.  They take Amy to a club where you have to wear your pajamas.  The club is lame-o considering it’s the fakest thing I’ve ever seen. 

The girls are seen checking their cell phones while sitting under a very obvious “Under 21 Section” sign.  Good one, BHampton.

Then, something pretty important is pointed out to us.  It’s Amy’s birthday and everyone forgot.  As bad as I feel for Amy, I love that it reflects the movie Sixteen Candles, which happens to be my favorite Molly Ringwald (Ann Juergens) movie.  Her friends tell her that she doesn’t need to always act like she’s so perfect just because she made one mistake and got pregnant at 15.

They tell her she’s allowed to tell people how she feels.  So they take a picture of her holding her birthday cake and send a mass text to everyone in her phone.  Ricky gets it and feels like a douche. Well played.

Back in Cali, Ben and Adrian discuss faking an engagement to make Ricky and Amy jealous.  In my opinion, that’s the whole reason Adrian kept the baby, which is really really sad.  You should only bring a baby into this world for love, not revenge.  I hope she gives it up for adoption.

And that leads me to my lesson of the week. Here’s what I’m going to teach viewers since Brenda Hampton’s writers suck: “Don’t sleep with someone to get back at someone else. It may seem like a good idea at the time but it’s likely not.  Unless it’s a one shot deal like Chace Crawford (call me!) or it’s someone you actually have feelings for, DON’T DO IT.” 

Revenge Sex = Bad.