Modern Family

Don't worry, Claire, your favorite holiday was a rousing success.

While the Halloween episode of Modern Family lacked an original title ("Halloween"), as well as an outbreak of laugh-out-loud lines, the half hour was filled with small, hilarious moments that make me wish I was a member of the Dunphys or Pritchards. To wit:

[Photo: ABC]

• A few of the examples Jay gave for of Gloria's pronunciation mishaps were unoriginal (carpool tunnel syndrome... really?), but this storyline was paid off in full when Gloria explained why she hit Mitchell the scarecrow: He scared the baby cheeses out of me!
• Did anyone else catch the name on a tombstone in Phil and Claire's yard? Rigg R. Mortis.
• Loved Claire referring to Mitchell and Cam as "the gays" in her diatribe over Halloween, immediately followed by Mitchell subtly pointing the blame at his partner for their Food Network recipes.
• I wonder if Mother Theresa ever was hot... nevermind. Sorry I went there.

If I were to nitpick, I'd say there wasn't nearly enough Manny; and what we know of Mitchell's new boss - he seemed rather laid back at the party where he and Mitch first met, remember? - would make me think he'd be all about dressing up for work.

But the best episodes bring the laughs, while also bringing this family together in the end. This installment accomplished both goals, while avoiding any cheesy monologue that sums up the evening's themes. We didn't need that when Claire reacted with such joy to her loved ones scaring away kids in their haunted house, and Phil realizing that, yes, he is stuck with this woman.

The same one who sleep hits him.

On to the best Modern Family quotes of the night:

Gloria: That doesn't make any sense! Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggy-dog world is a beautiful world filled with little poh-pees. | permalink

Phil: Tell me it was about booze, cheating, physical abuse - no problem. I'm a monogamous social drinker and Claire only sleep-hits me. | permalink

Jay: This whole thing is a colossal fog cue. | permalink

Claire: You're in a house of horrors being held against your will.
Alex: Yeah, I know, so why do I need the cage. | permalink

Claire: Honey, trust me, I'm sparing you an entire day of guys asking you if you have a rough tongue. | permalink

Cam: Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever? You had squeaky thighs; I lost a childhood. | permalink

Gloria: A bruja is a witch! A gar-golll is a gar-golll. | permalink