Welcome back to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down Monday's show (see our review of the episode earlier this morning).
Below, Gossip Girl staff writer Mister Meester joins editor-in-chief DANdy and esteemed TVF co-founder/shot-caller Gossip Guy to further discuss "The Witches of Bushwick" ...
1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?
Gossip Guy: I know the Chair fans will go nuts for the three little one syllable words in the comments, but I'll go with Blair's much more subtle response to where she's going: "I'm going to hell with the other sinners."
Mister Meester: "Girls know when a guy says that during it doesn't mean 'I love you,' it means 'I love having sex with you.'" Nate Archibald's wisdom defies comprehension.
DANdy: Gotta love Chuck invoking Brangelina in making a serious point about his relationship with Blair: "Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top!"
2. Was Team Brooklyn's plot the most diabolical scheme in Gossip Girl history?
Gossip Guy: Breaking up several couples and ruining two girls' futures? I'd say so. Just one question, why would the Gothic Barbie mess with her own brother that's always been there for her? Messed up. Even for a raccoon.
Mister Meester: Jenny and Juliet together truly are a force to be reckoned with. I would have said yes even before Juliet DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED Serena.
DANdy: Serena did cover up a murder once, right? So... close second.3. What was the biggest plot hole of the night?
Gossip Guy: That either guy would confuse Juliet for the woman they dated. Come on, faces aside, the girl does her own hair and lacks a certain something something in the boobs department.
Mister Meester: As I always say, I'm willing to overlook dubious details (i.e. everyone reading Gossip Girl blasts at the same time, one second after they're live, or texting the Dean as a means of withdrawing from Columbia) as long as the characters behave consistently. Which is why I'm focusing on Vanessa here. Typically, she acts above all the drama. Now all of a sudden she loathes Serena to an almost pathological degree? The writers seem totally at a loss with V.
DANdy: Neither Dan nor Nate recognizing that the lips they kissed didn't belong to Serena. God knows if I ever had the pleasure of kissing Blake Lively, I'd never forget it.
IT'S OVER, AGAIN: But is this breakup for the best?
4. Did Chuck and Blair make the right decision?
Gossip Guy: Uh oh, I'm about to go way too deep for a Gossip Girl Round Table, but I'm going to say yes. Sometimes, people become comfortable and don't grow while in a relationship. Blair exemplified this last season. I think the girl is right and she needs to be Blair Waldorf for now before she can become Chuck Bass' girlfriend. Fate (and the writers) will eventually bring them back together.
Mister Meester: I liked Chuck's if-you-love-her-set-her-free attitude, and can see where Blair's coming from to a point. But after deciding their love is more important than anything else, she does a 180 five minutes later after being chastised by Anne Archibald, who's married to a dude in PRISON? It just made no sense.
DANdy: Not unless the show actually keeps them apart for a few seasons, which is about as likely as me going two Round Table questions without invoking the beauty of Blake Lively.
5. Favorite couple: Derena, Serenate or Date?
Gossip Guy: Definitely Date. Speaking of Dates, can I crash their little Red Dead Redemption Romance back at the place? Toss me a controller. That's a threesome I could get in on. Hopefully they downloaded the Undead Nightmare DLC. Too nerdy?
Mister Meester: After seeing the new promo (see Gossip Girl spoilers), I'm back on Team Derena.
DANdy: Option D: Serena and whatever tight dress she's wearing.
BONUS: Rate last night on the Vanessa uselessness scale (1-10, 10 being the most useless).
Gossip Guy: 34.
Mister Meester: 9.5. See Juliet's direct acknowledgment of this, and my answer to #3.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments!