Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Witches of Bushwick"

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Welcome back to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down Monday's show (see our review of the episode earlier this morning).

Below, Gossip Girl staff writer Mister Meester joins editor-in-chief DANdy and esteemed TVF co-founder/shot-caller Gossip Guy to further discuss "The Witches of Bushwick" ...


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: I know the Chair fans will go nuts for the three little one syllable words in the comments, but I'll go with Blair's much more subtle response to where she's going: "I'm going to hell with the other sinners."

Mister Meester: "Girls know when a guy says that during it doesn't mean 'I love you,' it means 'I love having sex with you.'" Nate Archibald's wisdom defies comprehension.

DANdy: Gotta love Chuck invoking Brangelina in making a serious point about his relationship with Blair: "Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top!"

GG RT Logo

2. Was Team Brooklyn's plot the most diabolical scheme in Gossip Girl history?

Gossip Guy: Breaking up several couples and ruining two girls' futures? I'd say so. Just one question, why would the Gothic Barbie mess with her own brother that's always been there for her? Messed up. Even for a raccoon.

Mister Meester: Jenny and Juliet together truly are a force to be reckoned with. I would have said yes even before Juliet DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED Serena.

DANdy: Serena did cover up a murder once, right? So... close second.

3. What was the biggest plot hole of the night?

Gossip Guy: That either guy would confuse Juliet for the woman they dated. Come on, faces aside, the girl does her own hair and lacks a certain something something in the boobs department.

Mister MeesterAs I always say, I'm willing to overlook dubious details (i.e. everyone reading Gossip Girl blasts at the same time, one second after they're live, or texting the Dean as a means of withdrawing from Columbia) as long as the characters behave consistently. Which is why I'm focusing on Vanessa here. Typically, she acts above all the drama. Now all of a sudden she loathes Serena to an almost pathological degree? The writers seem totally at a loss with V.

DANdy: Neither Dan nor Nate recognizing that the lips they kissed didn't belong to Serena. God knows if I ever had the pleasure of kissing Blake Lively, I'd never forget it.

Chuck and Blair in Action

IT'S OVER, AGAIN: But is this breakup for the best?

4. Did Chuck and Blair make the right decision?

Gossip Guy: Uh oh, I'm about to go way too deep for a Gossip Girl Round Table, but I'm going to say yes. Sometimes, people become comfortable and don't grow while in a relationship. Blair exemplified this last season. I think the girl is right and she needs to be Blair Waldorf for now before she can become Chuck Bass' girlfriend. Fate (and the writers) will eventually bring them back together.

Mister Meester: I liked Chuck's if-you-love-her-set-her-free attitude, and can see where Blair's coming from to a point. But after deciding their love is more important than anything else, she does a 180 five minutes later after being chastised by Anne Archibald, who's married to a dude in PRISON? It just made no sense.

DANdy: Not unless the show actually keeps them apart for a few seasons, which is about as likely as me going two Round Table questions without invoking the beauty of Blake Lively.

5. Favorite couple: Derena, Serenate or Date?

Gossip Guy: Definitely Date. Speaking of Dates, can I crash their little Red Dead Redemption Romance back at the place? Toss me a controller. That's a threesome I could get in on. Hopefully they downloaded the Undead Nightmare DLC. Too nerdy?

Mister Meester: After seeing the new promo (see Gossip Girl spoilers), I'm back on Team Derena.

DANdy: Option D: Serena and whatever tight dress she's wearing.

BONUS: Rate last night on the Vanessa uselessness scale (1-10, 10 being the most useless).

Gossip Guy: 34.

Mister Meester: 9.5. See Juliet's direct acknowledgment of this, and my answer to #3.

DANdy: 8.5.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


a bit random but has anyone else noticed that the actors/writers/whoever are very consistent with the 'moves' when chair are making out? he stands behind her, clutches her legs (remember the 'have sex with me' moment in 2x03?) she touches his face, it really makes them more believeable as a couple, i love it!


so i was in love with all of the chair scenes. chuck bass-sooo goodlooking. anyways, i think she made the right decision but i dont think they should give him a girlfriend so soon, but whatever its their show. i just hope it doesnt end up ruining their relationship, which would really suck because they are so perfect for eachother. but anyways jenny seriously pisses me off to no end. she needs to take all the makeup off and shed be fine. poor serena, team brooklyn just ruined her life in one night, but next episode looks very good, i sort of like serena and dan together. hopefully they either stay together this team or just not do it at all because how many times have they dated and then broke up within two or three episodes. hahah but i love the show, this season is awesome :)


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?
Chuck's "Say we go in flames together?"... Sooo romantic :D
2. Was Team Brooklyn's plot the most diabolical scheme in Gossip Girl history?
I would include it in GG's top 5 most diabolical schemes.
3. What was the biggest plot hole of the night?
Anne Archibald lecturing Blair on choosing the right man, while (ironically) her HUSBAND is in jail. Moreover, Anne would NEVER go to such a decadent party as "Saints & Sinners".
4. Did Chuck and Blair make the right decision?
Let me remind you of Blair, as in "Blair - Chuck's girlfriend": she was not herself, she lost almost every battle. She needs to be a powerful woman, and her relationship with Chuck weakens her. So, she needs to work on her desire to achieve success, and then go back with Chuck. SHE MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. The writers should not give Chuck a new girlfriend, they should make him always available for Blair. We should see him pining for her (for a change).
5. Favorite couple: Derena, Serenate or Date?
Definitely DATE. Besides, Serena should not lick where she used to spit, and she spit on both relationships. Serena needs a new guy, as much as Dan and Nate need new girls.
BONUS: Rate last night on the Vanessa uselessness scale (1-10, 10 being the most useless).
This is not the Vanessa we know. I don't even want to comment on her uselessness, since scheming is totally not her piece of cake. I want to see Vanessa as a successful student filmmaker. Maybe we need to see her popular rock star lesbian sister (who we have never seen), or maybe Vanessa should interview Lily's sister CAROL (who we have never seen as well) for her new documentary. So many good plots can develop from the characters of CAROL and VANESSA'S SISTER, the writers should take that in consideration.


(i'm going to get killed for this) who's on juliet/vanessa/jenny's side with me??
i seriously want to see a upper east side breakdown. and not always the same pathetic group of people getting their way all the time. they have everything. i want to see them have nothing. then they'll know what it feels like. they've been acting as if the world revolves around them and have no care about other people outside of their little privileged group. so they might as well deserve it. i'm referring not only to serena. haha. i sound sadistic. but seriously, it would be really great to see that aspect of these really great characters. this show is a heightened sense of reality, and such shows would not last. the only way to keep it going is to show the raw side of being human. best way to do it is to show how they suffer. (how many of you people out there have said that chuck and blair are better apart? isn't it because they suffer without each other, makes you want to keep watching to see how the story goes) just a tip. i don't think anyone would agree though. but i'm free to express my point of view right? :D


@gossipgirllover i totally think you are right. i know i'll miss chair together but it will be kida fun watching them get all awkward when they're around each other because well, they both know they both love each other but decided not to act on it (?!)


lololol at the Vanessa-haterz, please, V isn`t going anywhere, and i can`t believe it`s taking you people over 4 years to get that. She`s not even a main character and she still gets more screentime than Chuck sometimes, they clearly love her down on the set. Plus, she`s a cool and pretty character, and right now that`s one of the few things GG has going for it.


My fav. quote had to be, "It’s not like I’ve been writing “Mrs. Nate Humphrey� in my notebook."
Im not sure if team brooklyns plot was the most diabolical but it certainly was the most insane and worthy of jail time.
Biggest plot whole had to be nate and dan not knowing that serena wasnt the one kissing them, i mean if i were them i would have noticed the hight difference. Also how could nate and dan not believe her if they both really loved her then they wouldve. Plus hasnt nate mistaken jenny for serena before anyways.
Chuck and blair did kinda make the right desicion they irritate me sometimes
MY fav. couple is by far NATE AND SERENA!!!!! they are the best they really love each other and they arnt step siblings for peetes sake.
As for vanessa she should die and there is no number in the world that describes her uselessness


i agree with Kacie Watkins even though they arnt blood related its still creepy


@CB i notice it to! i think its SOOO weird, i like the promo more!


I was all for Serena and Dan before Dan became submersed in the UES, and more importantly, before he became her stepbrother. Yes, Dan being an outsider is what kept them apart, but it's also what brought them together. Like he said in his description of the perfect date, that he would "take her somewhere where no one cared that she was Serena van der Woodsen." In his Brooklyn loft lifestyle, that was definitely the case. But now that he's evolved more into an Upper East Sider, I'm not sure. Plus seriously...he's her stepbrother. I don't care if it's not blood, that's still weird.

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Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 9 Quotes

Hey Serena, it's me. I saw your thing in The Post. Just wanted you to know that Brooklyn is a great place to avoid nasty looks. Unless you throw your recycling in the regular trash or try to open a chain store with questionable labor practices.


Serena: Hey, why are you guys eating? I thought we were going to Sarabeth's.
Eric: Ah, we decided we could spread out better here. There's more room to work.
Serena: On what, your calculus homework?
Eric: Your love life. It's a little something called "Dan vs. Nate". We're here to help.
Elliot: And we brought protractors.