Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Witches of Bushwick"

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Welcome back to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down Monday's show (see our review of the episode earlier this morning).

Below, Gossip Girl staff writer Mister Meester joins editor-in-chief DANdy and esteemed TVF co-founder/shot-caller Gossip Guy to further discuss "The Witches of Bushwick" ...


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: I know the Chair fans will go nuts for the three little one syllable words in the comments, but I'll go with Blair's much more subtle response to where she's going: "I'm going to hell with the other sinners."

Mister Meester: "Girls know when a guy says that during it doesn't mean 'I love you,' it means 'I love having sex with you.'" Nate Archibald's wisdom defies comprehension.

DANdy: Gotta love Chuck invoking Brangelina in making a serious point about his relationship with Blair: "Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top!"

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2. Was Team Brooklyn's plot the most diabolical scheme in Gossip Girl history?

Gossip Guy: Breaking up several couples and ruining two girls' futures? I'd say so. Just one question, why would the Gothic Barbie mess with her own brother that's always been there for her? Messed up. Even for a raccoon.

Mister Meester: Jenny and Juliet together truly are a force to be reckoned with. I would have said yes even before Juliet DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED Serena.

DANdy: Serena did cover up a murder once, right? So... close second.

3. What was the biggest plot hole of the night?

Gossip Guy: That either guy would confuse Juliet for the woman they dated. Come on, faces aside, the girl does her own hair and lacks a certain something something in the boobs department.

Mister MeesterAs I always say, I'm willing to overlook dubious details (i.e. everyone reading Gossip Girl blasts at the same time, one second after they're live, or texting the Dean as a means of withdrawing from Columbia) as long as the characters behave consistently. Which is why I'm focusing on Vanessa here. Typically, she acts above all the drama. Now all of a sudden she loathes Serena to an almost pathological degree? The writers seem totally at a loss with V.

DANdy: Neither Dan nor Nate recognizing that the lips they kissed didn't belong to Serena. God knows if I ever had the pleasure of kissing Blake Lively, I'd never forget it.

Chuck and Blair in Action

IT'S OVER, AGAIN: But is this breakup for the best?

4. Did Chuck and Blair make the right decision?

Gossip Guy: Uh oh, I'm about to go way too deep for a Gossip Girl Round Table, but I'm going to say yes. Sometimes, people become comfortable and don't grow while in a relationship. Blair exemplified this last season. I think the girl is right and she needs to be Blair Waldorf for now before she can become Chuck Bass' girlfriend. Fate (and the writers) will eventually bring them back together.

Mister Meester: I liked Chuck's if-you-love-her-set-her-free attitude, and can see where Blair's coming from to a point. But after deciding their love is more important than anything else, she does a 180 five minutes later after being chastised by Anne Archibald, who's married to a dude in PRISON? It just made no sense.

DANdy: Not unless the show actually keeps them apart for a few seasons, which is about as likely as me going two Round Table questions without invoking the beauty of Blake Lively.

5. Favorite couple: Derena, Serenate or Date?

Gossip Guy: Definitely Date. Speaking of Dates, can I crash their little Red Dead Redemption Romance back at the place? Toss me a controller. That's a threesome I could get in on. Hopefully they downloaded the Undead Nightmare DLC. Too nerdy?

Mister Meester: After seeing the new promo (see Gossip Girl spoilers), I'm back on Team Derena.

DANdy: Option D: Serena and whatever tight dress she's wearing.

BONUS: Rate last night on the Vanessa uselessness scale (1-10, 10 being the most useless).

Gossip Guy: 34.

Mister Meester: 9.5. See Juliet's direct acknowledgment of this, and my answer to #3.

DANdy: 8.5.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


1. Give it a tie between Blair saying “] Of course no one does black like Dior� after Chuck uttered those three one syllable words and Dan and Nate’s bromance exchange of Dan: Don't think this means I've been calling out your name in my sleep.
Nate: I haven't been writing Mrs. Dan Humphrey in my notebook.----classic!
2. I really thought they weren’t going to succeed. Then Juliet drugged and kidnapped Serena. PSYCHO much! I think in the ends its going to blow up in their faces! Team Brooklyn never wins.
3. The whole 3 Serena’s..it’s silly to think that you can’t recognize the difference between Serena, Juliet and Jenny. Really? And after you kiss her, why would you not go after her, why let her walk away. Ludicrous.
4. I think so. Blair needs to figure out who she is so she doesn’t become dependent on Chuck. Like last season. Once that happens then they can be together and be unstoppable! CHAIR FOREVER!
5. None of the above..always will be CHAIR!


I don't fully agree with "messing up with the brother" thing. We don't know - maybe Serena would have chosen Nate and Jenny actually did a favor to her brother and saved him from disappointnemnt...


Biggest mistake: Serena doesn't get the texts from Nate and Dan (thanks to Jenny), but she does from Gossip Girl? And indeed, why does Jenny try to mess up Dan as well?


Watch it for the girls or for their dresses. XOXO


1. I'm going to pick Serena's "You're my little brother. You're not enough." to Eric. OUCH! That cuts to the bone! 2. No scheme on this show has ever qualified as diabolical in my book. Actually no scheme on this show has even been memorable enough that I can recall it at this time. 3. The biggest plot holes of the show - S wearing her mask to leave the masked ball but not wearing when she arrives at or during the ball; Chuck Bass asking for relationship advice from Nate; and Anne Archibald lecturing Blair about how she is defined by who she associates with even though Anne is STILL married to The Captian. 4. First of all, I didn't understand why it was soooo shocking that Blair & Chuck got back togethor. Secondly, I think they did make the right decision for the reasons stated by Gossip Guy and Mister Meester. Thirdly I think the writers took the easy way out with all the Brad/Angelina/Hillery Clinton references. That was so not Blair & Chuck! 5. You know I'm all about DATE! They were just as gay, if not moreso, than Eric & Elliott in this episode - admitting they missed each other, sharing their perfect dates with each other (in what was supposed to be a competition). Serena will never pick one guy over the other and stick with it. BQ: V was pretty much a 9.8 in this episode (0.2 usefulness for getting Nate & Dan to acknowledge they missed each other), and I loved that Juliet told her that Jenny was carrying her. My Bonus Question: What the HELL were they thinking making Lily wear that fugly vest?!


1. "i love you"
2. my god yes they put blairs schemes to shame though their was three of them.
3. the boys not realising it was serena and the door man not knowing who serena van der woodsen was
4. sadly yes blair was right but they will end up together its fate


Oh also, while i'm not a fan of V, I do like her in this role.


I think Blair's 180 was a combo of things. Anne started her thinking and KC's comments were the icing on the cake. I looked at it as a joint effort.
I'm totally for Derena. I do fear though since they show them kissing in a promo that they want us to believe they get together but they actually don't.
While I definitely want Chuck and Blair together I am happy they if they were going to cool it for a while, they have done so on good terms. I do wonder if that Prince will come back in the middle of the season and bring Blair her shoe back like in Cinderella and this could set Chuck to get very jealous.
While I do think Jenny, V and Juliet would never have been able to pull off such an elaborate plan, I did enjoy it. I don't really feel badly for Serena. Everything they said about her, never paying any consequences, getting away with everything, it's completely true.
I am supposed to believe Nate's feelings. I mean in the last episode he was all into Juliet, wanting to give her a second chance and the minute that's over he goes running back to Serena? He's wishy washy, his emotions can change at the drop of a hat.


i like the bonus question.
but really? vanessa goes from serena's close friend to crazy enemy to i-don't-want-to-be-involved-in-taking-serena-down.
make up your mind. you either like her or you dont.


Vanessa has been little by little distroy in such a determinate way , as never saw before , Looking more and more like the last season of jessica z.

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Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 9 Quotes

Hey Serena, it's me. I saw your thing in The Post. Just wanted you to know that Brooklyn is a great place to avoid nasty looks. Unless you throw your recycling in the regular trash or try to open a chain store with questionable labor practices.


Serena: Hey, why are you guys eating? I thought we were going to Sarabeth's.
Eric: Ah, we decided we could spread out better here. There's more room to work.
Serena: On what, your calculus homework?
Eric: Your love life. It's a little something called "Dan vs. Nate". We're here to help.
Elliot: And we brought protractors.