Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Witches of Bushwick"

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Welcome back to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down Monday's show (see our review of the episode earlier this morning).

Below, Gossip Girl staff writer Mister Meester joins editor-in-chief DANdy and esteemed TVF co-founder/shot-caller Gossip Guy to further discuss "The Witches of Bushwick" ...


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: I know the Chair fans will go nuts for the three little one syllable words in the comments, but I'll go with Blair's much more subtle response to where she's going: "I'm going to hell with the other sinners."

Mister Meester: "Girls know when a guy says that during it doesn't mean 'I love you,' it means 'I love having sex with you.'" Nate Archibald's wisdom defies comprehension.

DANdy: Gotta love Chuck invoking Brangelina in making a serious point about his relationship with Blair: "Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top!"

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2. Was Team Brooklyn's plot the most diabolical scheme in Gossip Girl history?

Gossip Guy: Breaking up several couples and ruining two girls' futures? I'd say so. Just one question, why would the Gothic Barbie mess with her own brother that's always been there for her? Messed up. Even for a raccoon.

Mister Meester: Jenny and Juliet together truly are a force to be reckoned with. I would have said yes even before Juliet DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED Serena.

DANdy: Serena did cover up a murder once, right? So... close second.

3. What was the biggest plot hole of the night?

Gossip Guy: That either guy would confuse Juliet for the woman they dated. Come on, faces aside, the girl does her own hair and lacks a certain something something in the boobs department.

Mister MeesterAs I always say, I'm willing to overlook dubious details (i.e. everyone reading Gossip Girl blasts at the same time, one second after they're live, or texting the Dean as a means of withdrawing from Columbia) as long as the characters behave consistently. Which is why I'm focusing on Vanessa here. Typically, she acts above all the drama. Now all of a sudden she loathes Serena to an almost pathological degree? The writers seem totally at a loss with V.

DANdy: Neither Dan nor Nate recognizing that the lips they kissed didn't belong to Serena. God knows if I ever had the pleasure of kissing Blake Lively, I'd never forget it.

Chuck and Blair in Action

IT'S OVER, AGAIN: But is this breakup for the best?

4. Did Chuck and Blair make the right decision?

Gossip Guy: Uh oh, I'm about to go way too deep for a Gossip Girl Round Table, but I'm going to say yes. Sometimes, people become comfortable and don't grow while in a relationship. Blair exemplified this last season. I think the girl is right and she needs to be Blair Waldorf for now before she can become Chuck Bass' girlfriend. Fate (and the writers) will eventually bring them back together.

Mister Meester: I liked Chuck's if-you-love-her-set-her-free attitude, and can see where Blair's coming from to a point. But after deciding their love is more important than anything else, she does a 180 five minutes later after being chastised by Anne Archibald, who's married to a dude in PRISON? It just made no sense.

DANdy: Not unless the show actually keeps them apart for a few seasons, which is about as likely as me going two Round Table questions without invoking the beauty of Blake Lively.

5. Favorite couple: Derena, Serenate or Date?

Gossip Guy: Definitely Date. Speaking of Dates, can I crash their little Red Dead Redemption Romance back at the place? Toss me a controller. That's a threesome I could get in on. Hopefully they downloaded the Undead Nightmare DLC. Too nerdy?

Mister Meester: After seeing the new promo (see Gossip Girl spoilers), I'm back on Team Derena.

DANdy: Option D: Serena and whatever tight dress she's wearing.

BONUS: Rate last night on the Vanessa uselessness scale (1-10, 10 being the most useless).

Gossip Guy: 34.

Mister Meester: 9.5. See Juliet's direct acknowledgment of this, and my answer to #3.

DANdy: 8.5.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


you know how the producers said, a) this seasons finale will be a happy one and ...
b)there will be a marriage. well do you think Chair will be apart all season until the last few episodes when they unite and marry FOREVER heyhey?


1. So many of Chuck and Blair's were really good. When Chuck said, "I did mean it Blair, with all my heart" I couldn't help but start awwing to myself. However, Nate's "It's not like I've been writing Mrs. Nate Humphrey" was pretty great too. Date has evolved into a great bromance. 2. Yes, definitely the most diabolical scheme on Gossip Girl (in recent memory), mostly because THEY GOT AWAY WITH IT completely unscathed, for now at least. Also, Serena never covered up a murder because it wasn't one, and it wasn't 'schemed' like this one either. Jenny and Vanessa are two big WTF's, Vanessa is especially out of character. And yeah, why does Jenny want to sabotage Dan? Why does Vanessa want to sabotage Dan and Nate? Because neither of them want her anymore? When did she turn into a psycho? Also, I would love to see Juliet vs. Georgina Sparks, or maybe Team Juliet + Georgina vs. Team Blair + Chuck. 3. Biggest plot hole is definitely the fact that neither Dan nor Nate recognized that it wasn't Serena. Secondly, Jenny swapping the SIM was very... Nikita-like. Lastly, Jenny and Vanessa's inconsistent behaviours as I said above. 4. Chuck and Blair were so awesome in the whole episode, in the past couple of episodes actually. They've really grown up and matured, unlike every other one of their bimbo friends. I love knowing that wherever Gossip Girl ends up, Chair is fated to end up together. 5. At this point, Date, since at least it won't be able to flip back and forth every 2 seconds. But I've always liked Derena more than Serenate, probably because season 1 of Gossip Girl was the best and that was when Derena were together. I was so happy last week when Serena called Dan and said "I'll wait for you for as long as it takes." Too bad that turned out to only be 5 seconds. WTH. This triangle should've ended many episodes ago. The next episode looks promising, hopefully Derena lasts... or some relationship involving Serena lasts (can't count how many boyfriends she's had).


I'm shipping S/more plastic surgery
She still looks like a horse in the face


Did anyone else see how Casey basically said "you being good and monogamist" gives the hotel a bad name while Chuck is with Blair, but this was never mentioned when he went all "publicly good" while with Eva?


Oops, didn't mean to send that just when I did LOL Juliet got her psycho on--and left Vanessa and even Little J in the dust. It may take another episode or three, but the girl is gonna go DOWN hard...


4. That was very much the right decision. While we all want Chuck and Blair together, forever, NOW--there's not much worse than starting out a relationship with regret. Blair and Chuck doing their own thing for a while will help ensure that when they do commit for life, it will be--forever.


We will definitely see more of Derena in 2 weeks :) the promo looks great!

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Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 9 Quotes

Hey Serena, it's me. I saw your thing in The Post. Just wanted you to know that Brooklyn is a great place to avoid nasty looks. Unless you throw your recycling in the regular trash or try to open a chain store with questionable labor practices.


Serena: Hey, why are you guys eating? I thought we were going to Sarabeth's.
Eric: Ah, we decided we could spread out better here. There's more room to work.
Serena: On what, your calculus homework?
Eric: Your love life. It's a little something called "Dan vs. Nate". We're here to help.
Elliot: And we brought protractors.