Gossip Girl Round Table: "War at the Roses"

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Welcome back to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panelists break down Monday's show (see our review of the episode earlier this morning).

Below, chief Gossip Girl writer Mister Meester joins critic-in-chef DANdy and TVF shot-caller Gossip Guy to discuss GG quotes, plots, enemies with benefits and more.


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: Blair referring to Jenny as Gothic Barbie. I wonder when Mattel is releasing that product.

Mister Meester: Aside from the obvious hate-sex preamble, I'll take Blair's "You put gladiolas in my cabbage roses? The Waldorf's isn't a Best Western!" I have no idea what that means, but it sounds like a stinging rebuke just the same.

DANdy: Blair's shout-out to Jonathan Franzen. I'm curious how many viewers even know who that is!

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2. Was the ending the hottest Chair scene ever?

Gossip Guy: OMFG.

Mister Meester: It has to be at least up there with the limo scene from the first season. Call it a tentative tie until they blow it out of the water next week (hopefully).

DANdy: Hottest Chair scene ever? Yes. Hottest Gossip Girl scene ever? No. That honor falls to Nate and Serena's bar stool sex from the very first episode. A close second: every scene with Serena in that dress from last week.

3. Was last night's episode too convoluted?

Gossip Guy: It wouldn't be Gossip Girl if it wasn't.

Mister Meester: Gossip Girl always will be to a degree, and I'll get invested in any plot that's scandalous and funny, and in which the characters behave in a plausible way (albeit in their fictional universe). For example, Chair's peace treaty was great, no matter how silly, but both Dan's and Juliet's  story lines failed to do it for me.

DANdy: Convoluted?!? It was simple: Juliet's cousin doesn't know that the student he wants to bang is the same girl Juliet and her brother are trying to expel, for reasons still unknown; while Dan... did a lot of stuff online, for reasons not totally explained, that enabled an old video of Blair to surface at her 20th birthday party and humiliate her because she was mostly off-key in it. Rachel Zoe also showed up.


HUMILIATION: A Nelly Yuki snuff film would have been better.

4. Hardest to believe: That the drunken video was really so embarrassing to Blair, that Serena attends Columbia (in general), or that Dan cared enough about his parents' anniversary and/or revenge to plan that whole charade?

Gossip Guy: That Serena or Nate could possibly attend any college, let alone an Ivy League school. How can the two of these beautiful morons continue to trust Juliet? At least Nate was trying to get some.  Serena... your excuse?

Mister Meester: None of Dan's shenanigans made a lot of sense, nor does Serena attending an institution of higher learning, but Blair's humiliation stood out most. She already made the Jenny situation seem like the dirtiest secret ever. How does this compare?

DANdy: Serena and Columbia. I always thought that Ivy League institution was at least harder to get into than she is.

5. The Juliet storyline: Intriguing or boring?

Gossip Guy: I swear I'm not just saying this because Katie Cassidy is ridiculously attractive, but I'm still intrigued. Each week they add a new little twist to her story that I need to know what's happening already!  Okay, we finally got their connection: they're all family. Check.  Now what the hell did Serena do to them?

Mister Meester: All I have to say is that this had better be good, because with the time it's taking to play out, my patience is being stretched. Ben can text and call from jail whenever he wants. You'd think they could hurry this along ...

DANdy: Put it this way: I'd rather watch Letters to Juliet. On an endless loop.

Bonus: What's something you can imagine in the peace treaty but was never mentioned?

Gossip Guy: Much like Tiger Woods, I'm positive Blair put a gag order on Chuck to never speak of Gothic Barbie again. See what I did there? I'm trying to get it to stick.

Mister Meester: That after consummating the deal, Blair is entitled to a severance package, if you know what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about anything financial.

DANdy: Neither side will reveal the identity of A in Pretty Little Liars.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


...Okay first and foremost all the derena fans can stop glorifying in their happiness that their ship is getting back together. I HATE derena and I think its stupid if the writers put them back together because they are brother and sister or did everyone forget that too? thats just nasty and they have a brother in common, like really?? NO!!!! Please Im begging you Josh dont do it. Nate loves Serena way more, he never judges her and excepts her and her whore ways and lets just face it that if Serena had kissed Nate when her and Dan were going out, Dan little fagot ass would have never looked twice at her again because she cheated but Nate loving her the way he does forgives her and she leaves him, what a bitch. ...Derena better not get back together and I loved this week's episode it showed us what Chuck and Blair are together and at the end of the episode it DIDNT look forced, it looked like they have been holding back and everything just snapped. If you never wanted someone so bad that you could taste it then you have no right to talk about whether it looked forced because when you want that person nothing can look forced. By the way I know where Blair and Chuck are coming from when they say they hate each other. Dont you guys see, the more they fight the more they want each other, I know that for a fact. They do love each other too much and thats what makes them Chuck and Blair.


I like I-watch-too-much-tv 's theory that it involves something with her year at boarding school.


1.the best western one.
2.i think its a close second the the original chuck and blair scene.
3.no way!
4.that the drunken video was so embarassing
5.intrigueing but it cant go on too much longer


1. complete agreement, gothic barbie. personally taylor monsen looks like a blonde raccoon, never an attractive look. 2.CHAIR: omfg, the lead in was kinda of, hinky. But it was hoot :) i agree the scandalous appeal of their first limo hook up is still the best though. But i can see where this is going in gossip girl land. lots of sex, more sex, at the end of the episode blair will end it, a party will take place that oddly enough the whole cast is invited to, tense stare down, guest character will some how draw them together for a take down, and HOPEFULLY they reconcile ala season 2 season finale. 3. YES. but when is it not? its the charm of gossip girl 4 Defiantly Dan attempting to take down Blair. I mean, he has seen her elaborate scheming and worked with her and he thinks an off key song will destroy her. Another thing, my parents like being AWAY from their kids on their anniversary (ew) but seriously who cares if the gothic barbie is there or not, i can't imagine she's a charming dinner companion. 5.what i don't get is why juliet and ben so hell bent on getting her expelled. i mean she's been arrested, sent off to boarding school and more i don't think getting her expelled from a school she could easily buy her way back in to would really constitute as her destruction. Its getting a little too repetitive and dull, i mean we get it your his sister, hes in jail, your hiding it, and your family (but not ALL your family) hates Serena. Now get on with it and tell us why your SO pissed.


maybee serena slept with a professor in bording school, that could be Juliet and Bens father - and maybee that destroyed their familiy.


DanDy, last week Serena's "dress" was a pantsuit. I assume this was to reduce ease of accessibility via one layer of black jersey.


I think what serena did to them has to involve the guy she may or may not have killed by overdose. I think that he was the other brother of juliet and ben. Just my idea


1. It really doesn't have much impact but....I liked Eleanor's comment to Juliet "You did a great job with FNO. Come help with the cater's trays." Just a reminder Jules, you really aren't one of them! In the end you're still a worker bee!
2. Not the hottest Chair scene ever. That's gotta be when Chuck took Blair's virginity in the back of his limo while she was still his best friend's girlfriend. That had a certain shock value added to it!
3. Not convoluted, but I think they hired some newly unemployed soap opera script writers cause this Ben-&-Juliet-destroy-Serena storyline is dragging out/on way too long!
4. All middle class people (aka the viewers) know that the Ivy Leagues campuses are divided into two groups - those that deserve to be there cause they have the brains and those that can afford to be there because they have the money to make donations for years on end. So it shouldn't really be surprising Nate & Serena are at an Ivy - they don't fall into the first category but definitely into the second. Having said that, the hardest part to believe? That Dorota was a guest at the party instead of working the party! Since when?!
5. The Juliet-Ben-Colin storyline is BORING! It will only become intriguing when they get around to revealing why they are out to destroy her!
BQ: It's probably something kinky like pictures of them in each other's underwear or a sex tape. We know they were into games & fantasies.......


B and C are the only interesting couple I truly love. Dan needs to let Serena go. He was always the reached for her, yeah Blake and Penn had chemistry but in the Gossip Girl world such an enviable a list girl would never settle for him. I would actually prefer danessa together if they could get their selves together. And poor V, she has nothing interesting going on after she made a fool of her self in Juliet's scheme.


I really want to know what Serena did to Ben that was so horrible. I really think it has to do with the drug overdose, maybe be was there and he got all the blame or something but now that Juliet and Ben are officially brother and sister that kind of makes her revenge more believable. I swear that Juliet kissed Ben when she went to visit him once. Mustve been my imagination.

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Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 7 Quotes

What part of J. Mendel did you not understand?


You put gladiolas in my cabbage roses? The Waldorf's is not a Best Western!