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Gossip Girl Tuesday Reality Scale: Up or Down?

by at . Comments

Last night's Gossip Girl, "War at the Roses," pitted Dan against Chair in a new spin on their war of attrition, which brought the enemies together, as TVF's official review notes.

Now it's time for one of our favorite pieces of Gossip Girl coverage, N.Y. Magazine's trademark reality index. Excerpts from the site's take on the night's high and low points:

Dancing to Robyn
  • It is in fact fall! Plus 1.
  • While we highly doubt Colin’s focus would have been on Serena’s hair and lips in the Skinemax-filmed scene where they flirt over coffee, the slow-motion blurring of words while both of them utter nonsense and think only about sex felt real. Plus 3.
  • Dan, who lectured Jenny about stooping to Blair and Chuck’s level last week, so quickly forgot his morals? Minus only 1, because it doesn’t surprise us, but Dan wants everyone to think he’s the good guy. He’d at least think twice.
  • Lily to Rufus: “I know you think you’re rock-and-roll, but you are wearing a $2,000 jacket.” Plus 4. We love it when people on this show say things like this.
  • Eric, as he progresses through high school, has bulked up his muscles and yet simultaneously adopted dowdy plaids and cardigans. It’s like he’s Dan Humphrey lite. Is there anything gayer than that? Plus 5.
  • Wait, Gossip Girl now has geo-tagging functionality where you can see where people are walking? Even Gawker Stalker doesn’t have that. Jimmy Kimmel would have been all over this shit. Or at least George Clooney. Minus 3.
  • The actual pictures of a young Leighton Meester were a nice touch. Plus only 2, though, because the real baby Blair would have been wearing makeup.
  • Dorota’s toast is, of course, adorable, though even the vague tolerance given to it by the Upper East Side guests is a bit of a stretch. Plus only 1.
  • A Chair sexual reunion? On a piano? With Robyn’s “Dancing on My Own” playing in the background?? Call us old-fashioned, but Plus 100.
  • Serena has the Gettysburg Address memorized? Minus 20.
  • Blair calls Jenny “Gothic Barbie.” Plus 3.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Xoxodanielle

I wonder if the dn bromance is over. After all chuck an Nate are still bros and chuck took blairs virginity when Nate thought he was. Wuahaha I think Nate will forgive dan for stealing the book. After all he did get put into his place by his dad of all people.

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to be fair serena gave up actually reciting the gettysburg address and tried to turn into a witty comment.

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in fact, blair still care and looking chuck whole summer +20

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OH the Gettysburg Address thing with serena and nate, do you guys not remember when the said some teacher made them memorize it for SCHOOL!!!

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Gothic Barbie!!! N the chair sex scene

Kimberly anne

The episode annoyed me in so many way, but the last scene just made it all better.
First off, why would Frufrus want Jenny back for his anniversary with Lily. Its there one years, so they might would want to spend it together alone. Dan actually wants everyone together on this occcasion? Umm, ewww.
Dan was a freaking asshole in the episode. He bitched more than Blair and that is just so pathetic of him to as a guy. For some reason his logic did not make sense. How was messing Blair's party, going to bring Jenny back the same night? He's dumb. And I can believed he actually attemped in messing with Chair. He needs to take a page from Jenny's book, preferably the last one when she said Chuck and Blair together are invincible. He really has no life now. Vanessa was even better than him in this episode. He better not mess with them again, better yet, he should leave the show.
Seriously, what is the point of Nate anymore. He's just there, like Ben, who has yet to do anything but call and text from prison. The scene of him and Dan at the hotel was very stupid. Does he just leave the house before is friends does?? Who does that? And why would he be the one to have the treaty? it would have been in better hands if it was with Dorota or Arthur.
Serena and Collin were very booring to me because nothing happened besides a kiss. Wait, so Ben and Juliet are siblings and Collin is their cousin. Hahaha, I keep thinking the aren't relatied nd that Juliet was hooking up with both of them for some reason.
Chuck and Blair were amazing. I would have liked more scenes of them. I though the writers could have given them more tension scenes like Serena and Collin did to built up to the ending. I love Blair's pictures are the party. The scene in th end was awesome!!! I love the song played. It was worth all the drama that came before this episode since season 4 started. I missed the part of what Penelope said about the cd. What is the cd exactly about?? And I love the fact that Blair admitted to looking for Chuck in the summer. They are just the best couple ever.
I can't wait for the nest episode. The promo looks so good.

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geo tagging thhing is from the cell service juliet has serena on her contacts so shes pops up the person has to disable this on the phone if they dont want to be found and second they have been using this sice like the second season!!!

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Another point - is it really believable that Serena would care, if she would get kicked out of college? Whatever Serena did do Juliet's and Ben's family, at least make up a revenge, that would actually mather to her...Let's face it, school was never her priority and what's another year without school in Serena's world..

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Only Plus 3 for Gothic barbie?! Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Itsneverenough

And yeah you're right the thing with this geo-tagging functionality is so silly!

Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

It only takes one video to topple an entire career. If you don't believe me just YouTube Connie Chung piano.

Blair