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The Gossip Girl Reality Index Returns!

by at . Comments

Last night's Gossip Girl, "The Kids Are Not All Right," started 2011 not with a bang, but with a thud, as our official review notes. But there were some high points.

It's time for one of our favorite pieces of Gossip Girl media coverage, N.Y. Magazine's patented reality index. Behold, the first +/- scale of the calendar year:

  • Blair to Serena about seeing Dan for the first time since break: “Here’s my advice: Have a little faith, and if that doesn’t work, have a lot of mimosas.” This means nothing, but Plus 1 anyway, for being a pretty good life philosophy.
  • Blair’s dismissive summation of the Serena-Dan attraction - “Whatever it is you see in him, he sees in you” - is so subtle, Serena probably doesn’t even notice they’re both being insulted. Plus 3.
  • It occurs to us that the only two people taking this show seriously any more are Leighton Meester and Penn Badgley. Plus only 10 for acting, but a whole bunch of invisible points for appreciation.
  • Plus 10 for Serena totally not thinking about the fact that giving the Post reporter the affidavit will send her mother to jail until Lilly points it out.
B to the Dizzubs
  • Nate: “Hey man, how was New Zealand?” Chuck: “I have to say, it was an extraordinary bust.” Minus 2. Even the girl next to him rolls her eyes at the double entendre.
  • Sorry, we are to believe Serena went to Staten Island without a ride back, such that she just decided to walk to get coffee with Ben? And that Ben had such a well-fitting coat waiting for him upon release? And that he was in such chipper, low-key spirits after having been in prison for years? And was just kind of hanging around outside? Minus 30.
  • Dan and Serena decide not to try to take up their quasi-incestuous relationship, because even though they care about each other, Serena takes Dan for granted and if they are being perfectly honest, they maybe don't even like to hang out that much? Minus 10.
  • Minus 20 for Chuck opting to believe Lily saying she’s selling the company “because it’s in trouble,” without consulting with his team of attorneys, auditors, and the private detective he keeps on retainer.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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I prefer most of these wow gold http://www.mywowgold.ca/! They fit very well, and they all my buddies really like all of them. I have got any greyish. Great. Each goes with everything else. We take these people Slacks, pantyhose, short and even stockings. I do think they are extra practical since they could very well be employed several solutions and are usually really well crafted and chic! Absolutely love!

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Sorry about that Kimmie, silly sister posting things. I completely agree with you, this episode was dull. I promised not to watch it until I'd finished all my exams but I took a break anyway and found that it wasn't worth it.

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"The storylines in it were too adult-like for me." Lol, are you sure you're old enough to watch GG?

Kimberly anne

I am sorry to say but this episode was a miss for me. The storylines in it were too adult-like for me. Freeing an innocent man, buying back a corporation, finding a judge? Come on, this show needs to lighten up. I want it to go back to season two where there was more fun in the scheming.
I did like very much that when Serena, dressed as Lily went with Chuck to check out her files. That was funny.
And I can’t believe Serena actually went to get coffee with a guy that just out of prison like two seconds ago and was in there because of his mom. Yeah, that sounds like a nice guy to hang out with in the middle of the night.
Ugh! I cannot stand the new family. I hope Chuck take them down and win back Bass Industry for good. But I find it hard to believe that even though Chuck was head of Bass Industry when he came back from Europe, he must have known that it wasn’t doing well. There was no way he was kept out in the dark until now. Also, we never found out who the secret buyer was. Did the writers just forget or something?
Nate and his dad were very pointless in this episode. They weren’t even there are humor because I did not find them funny. They were kind of pointless. How can that guy invest with Harold? Does he not know that he is on probation?
The idea of Dair is giving me a lot of mixed feelings because on one side I am a complete Chair Fan all the way, but right now I know they won’t be getting together, so I want to see a new pair. I would have liked to know more what happened with them at the movies in the beginning. They both acted like something happened when Serena asks yet it was never mention again. The scene of them at the party was pretty cute. I do see chemistry there, I have to admit.
Overall the episode wasn’t all that exciting, especially after such a long break.

Gossip Girl Quotes

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

[to Jenny] That's the thing. You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You can't make people love you, but you can make them fear you. For what it's worth, you're my Queen. I choose you.

Blair