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Archer Round Table: "Blood Test"

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Now that was a solid episode of Archer, as we noted in our official review earlier. So solid, in fact, that we've put together a Round Table Q&A discussion of "Blood Test."

Without further delay, we present this week's Archer Round Table:

What was your favorite Archer quote from last night?  

Dr. Toboggan: Archer: "Sorry I must have missed the Emily Post chapter on how to introduce your mother to your hooker."

Mark F: Archer: "Keep your chins up Cyril... All eleven of them."

Eric H: I'm a sucker for Archer throwing out Woodhouse's clothes. "Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?"

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So how much is a liter of blood?

Dr. Toboggan: I should know this but my professional guess is that it is not a lot because Cyril was knocked unconscious, pumped full of heroin, and drained of a liter of blood and I'm sure he was just fine...well fine except for whatever Pam did to him.

Mark F: Probably not enough to mend Barry's shattered femur because it really looked like it hurt. But that dick did rip Archer's suit and take a liter of blood so a shatter femur is kind of a good trade. Also, it's apparently 8 gills which is possibly metric and vis a vis a unit of volume no one understands.

Eric H: I dunno, but I do know a liter of melon balls cannot replace a liter of blood.

Best gift at the baby shower?

Dr. Toboggan: First, the full name of the event was the "baby shower for the bastard child you pumped into a filthy whore," and second, my favorite gift was Pam's ham koozie, I'm still trying to figure that one out, but I guess you can use for a baby somehow.

Mark F: Breast Milk. Because somehow Krieger was able to make it himself plus all the other events he was able to agree with at the party such as a full diaper. But then again he lets interns test all the new inventions on their first day and he's not even the other kind of doctor so hard to say if he really knows what he's doing or just pulling the ol' guess-and-check.

Eric H: Plastic bag. It seems like the most fun toy of the lot for the wee baby Shamus.

Is that a candy wrapper!?

Dr. Toboggan: At first I was disappointed in Archer for even pretending but he redeemed himself when he said sometimes he likes to treat himself.

Mark F: Well i guess props to Archer for pulling that move twice. But different girls so it probably wasn't that hard to get away with. I mean, who couldn't use a snack afterwards and it might be safer than a sandwich baggie....

Eric H: Was more than acceptable maneuver to use on Lana. Even if she doesn't need the calories her man hands would crush any potential bastard child. On a call girl? Little less than acceptable... even if you want to treat yourself.

I'm not saying now, but one day, will Malory make the best grandmother?

Dr. Toboggan: No she will be awful, this is the same woman who left her 5 year old son alone on Christmas, shot her son more than once, and was more concerned about her carpet than Archer when he was stabbed and dying in her condo.  I'm not judging in anyway, but no ISIS employee has any business being around children or interns for that matter as Kreiger proved.

Mark F: Yes. As long as the wee baby Shamus can get her on the board of the MET (opera or museum), doesn't become a disappointment, enjoys lacrosse camp, wears tactical necks, enjoys drinking, and doesn't drown drinks on the refresh.. but given the economy and Malory's fittings she definitely won't be helping anytime soon of course.

Eric H: Definitely. I think the wee baby Shamus will bond just fine with his grandmother once his Irish roots kick in and he's old enough to drink. And from what I understand about parenting, that's as soon as he starting teething.

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.

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Archer Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

Cyril: Ever since Lana and I broke up, I take solace in food.
Archer: Well keep your chins up, all eleven of them.

What do you even do here? Sit on your ass and analyze data? Well I'm a field agent, Isaac Newton. I risk my life. So yeah, I do deserve the best space in the parking garage. Like it would kill you to roll fifty feet? The stupid thing's electric.

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