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Elena: I just saw Britney Spears' new music video. Please kill me..

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Police:Freeze,your going to jail, for being soooooooooo...........damn ugly!

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Police officer: Don't move....I dropped my contact lens.

Elena: So that's why your aim is off...

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Cop: "Choose now or die: Stefan or Damon?"

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Cop: DON'T MOVE AND YOU GET SHOT! Elena: Yes, because that's how reality works.

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Elena: No, don't shoot me...think about it...I can get you a promotion...my boyfriend's a vampire, my boyfriend's brother is a vampire, my mother is a vampire and my best friend is a vampire! They could really compell someone to give you a promotion...
Cop: Oh, fine, sorry...I just thought i was going to save you some time...

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Elena: Somebody teach this guy how to aim a gun

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cop: put your hands up
elena: ....
cop: i said put your hands up
elena: do you mind i was reading the next chapter if twilight .. oh wait did you want to read it ?
cop: .... yes but ull still have to put your hands up (reads)
elena: (runs away)

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Cop: "Alana, you're under arrest!"
Katherine: *note to self - stop impersonating this chick*

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cop: STOP! i have a gun!
elena: yes. the one that shoots a sign that says BANG! when you pull the trigger.
cop:damn, i hate april fool's day!



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