Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Chuck Lorre is a botch. Stubborn stupid ass.


Canned laughs. Miss you Charlie.


I will not watch the show until Charlie comes back or at least Aston dumb dumb gone. Good cast except for Aston ugly dude, he is out of place.


I stopped watching after the first two shows with Ashton. He is not funny. He can't act. I cannot imagine what anyone sees in him. Either beg Charlie to come back or cancel show. Actually, who cares? I don't. But I'll watch if Charlie comes back and not until.


I miss Charliee!! the show its going down


This was my favorite show. Now i can't stand watching it. Just bring Charlie back. Ashton is just not cutting it. They just runied this show.


Charlie had every right to tell you "WHERE TO GO" Chuck. The show WAS a clean display of his real life.? This is evident you took that from him, just check your latest ratings and comments over and over again. With the money he brought in and the ratings he turned out for you- He had every right to tell you to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. Do you feel betta yet?? THE CAST deserves him back and they all deserve double their pay! Its only money. Its viewers like us that make it possible.! You're writing does wreak of desperation-hmm, maybe because it wasn't your idea to begin with! Check the record. Charlie has every right to live his life the way he wants. Charlie knows he can get help because he knows he can have whatever he wants. Charlie, we don't want to see you die. Its bad enough they did a horrible display of it on the show. Its obvious you're not secure with your manhood Chuck. You should've laughed at him and said show up wheneva ya want just get the job done. And Charlie, have common courtesy for the people helping you look your best for the show please. Apologize to your family for making it a point to the world that you have serious talent amongst other things that you can't help control;) and move forward. Control yourself man. I did look forward to Monday nights, but now I look forward to re-runs at my convenience. "It is what it is" and "ya get what ya get and ya don't get upset" but this is absurd! So Chuck, put your pride aside and hire Charlie back so he can help the cast get back to work for real and prove to you with REAL ratings, not curiousity ratings. They'll be everyone in the world watching. You think the ratings were through the roof because of camera boy? Hire him to be your personal photographer-that's if he knows how to take pictures. He should've known not to take the job in the first place, but stupid is as stupid does! The pay was right, but can he go on with his life after this. He looks like he should be doing a take for the last supper. What the hell type of audience were you trying to attract! Get your ducks back in the row and get on with the real Two and 1/2 Men, Please.? Not One idiot, One Stunaade, and a half uneducated guess. I just loved it the way it was. Why fix what worked???? Just look at Charlie for example?! Bye Bye Ashton, nice try but get off his payroll;)


as a fan of charlies show i had a terrible feeling when they advertised the ashton debut with voice overs of women going "ashtons so amazing i love him i love him" i thought to myself, erm its not really women who watch the show, its men. we dont wanna hear how amazing ashton is one of the most endearing qualities in charlie was that not everyone liked him, his mum had a dislike for him, berta tolerated him, judith hated him - but all of the women on the current show love ashton - thats not fun to watch its almost as if in order to get ashton on the show the creator said he's gonna kiss ashtons arse all throughout the show - thats not fun we enjoyed the show because even though charlie had a lot of fun, there were also times when he got played big time, he got beaten up by steven tyler, he got maced in a restaurant, he fell off the rotting deck, and as he got older, some women began rejecting him - this only made it more funnier to watch i'm afraid its all over for this show unless they get charlie back - cant change tack in the middle of the show and have judith and berta turning on ashton now


I have deleted my DVR recording for this series. This show is completely horrendous without Charlie. On a positive note, my hair dresser dressed up as Charlie Sheen so at least I got to spend SOME time with him....hahaha.....I just think the new format totally sucks without him....he was TOTALLY amazing!!! Miss you Charlie!!!


No laughts anymore just bordom.

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.