Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


2.5men rly sucks without charlie. I knw ashton is a very gud actor bt he cnt realy fit in charlie's shoes!!plz plz chuck lorre bring Charlie back


The show sucks with out charlie


I feel like they are trying to capture a different audience with the show. And I still think a lot of people watch the show because it still has faces that we saw when Charlie was in the show. But I am currently watching the newest Two and a Half Men. (2/13) And it sucks. I liked when charlie had girls running in and out of his house! But he has a new show coming out that I hope is gonna be good! Cancel the show!


this show is absolutely brutal. just shows how stupid the viewing public is.


The stupid Kelso from that 70's show, grown up and turned into the moron named Walden Schmidt who moved to the Charlie's house. The same character a different name. Did someone told to Kutcher that he can only play one type of character?. Now the show completely sucks... god bless Jon Cryer for doing all the job!!.


everything about it is amateurish and seriously unfunny and the way they disposed of sheen's character was unbelievable in it's levity.kucher is not funny and never has been.I didn't see the gorilla episode but I can only imagine how stupid that is.


En español apesta esta nueva versión devuelvan a charlie, a Venezuela llega la pestilencia de esta nueva temporada. Charlie come Black , The new two and a half men sucks like a pice of sh*t , ashton sorry yo sucks to!!, The best show is arruinado!!


I use to never miss an episode, but now that Charlie is gone the show just stinks. I tried watching it one last time and it is too awful to watch.


I see no sense in weiting comments about show unless NBC reads them.


Ashton needs to get rid of that "Jesus" look and move on. I have to watch the show on "ON DEMAND" so I can fast forward and cancel. It gets worse when I watch Charlie and Gang on reruns and than watch the new show. Charlie was the show and the show was Charlie!

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.