Gossip Girl Round Table: "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan"

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Welcome to another Gossip Girl Round Table discussion! Below, our panel breaks down the most recent episode (see our official review from Monday night) of our favorite show in detail.

Below, TV Fanatic CEO Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy), editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines talk "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!

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What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: Blair letting loose on Dan that “there is no us!” Leighton Meester continues to carry each episode (with the help of Lonely Boy of course).

Christina: Dan to Sabrina, I mean Serena: “If you can’t tell the difference between what I did to Blair and what I did to you, then maybe your portrayal in the book is more accurate than you thought.” Well said, Lonely Boy. And once again, S is ridiculously oblivious and narcissistic as ever.  

Leigh: Dan to Chuck: "I'm guessing my dad's probably halfway through and Nate's probably on page 20." Because if that's not the most realistic thing ever said on this show... I don't know what is.

Steve: I'll mix it up and take a serious one - Blair telling Louis to start trusting her or let her go. Good for her. Yes, she's Blair Waldorf, a complicated girl on her best day and a shady one on her worst. But she means well, and she's been always honest with him ... well, except for that silly envelope.

Eric: Is this even a question? Pretty much everything when Chuck and Dan sat down to discuss the book. But the obvious winner? Chuck not having a problem with the suicide, just that it was a belt and not a scarf.

What surprised you most about Dan's book?

Courtney: Besides that it was at the top of the Amazon book list? That he would go as low as ripping his father. Serena, Blair, Chuck... they have all deserved it at some point, but his dad? Cold.

Christina: “Derek.” I loved the look on Nate’s face when Chuck informed him his character was meshed with Eric’s.

Leigh: I was actually really surprised that he killed Chuck and the manner in which it happened. Erotic asphyxiation? What show is this? Nip/Tuck? (BTW re-watch if you don't realize that's what happened).

Steve: First I want to comment on what a great storyline this was overall. It really explored the characters in a way we haven't seen in some time. As for what surprised me most, probably that Dan had sex with Blair ... in his dreams. Come on Dan, we know you want to and all, but I thought the book was semi-autobiographical. Blending Nate and Eric came out of nowhere, too.

Eric: The the publicist told Dan to leave the beard, but didn't even comment on the muppet hair. No one doing promotion for anything would ever let him out of the house looking like that.  Wait, how do they let Penn film Gossip Girl with that mop?

Who did Dan sell out hardest?

Courtney: Like I said before, Rufus... all the way. Who cares if Rufus really is a washed up rocker who married for money? He is his father. Besides Dan has no problem being a part of a world with money. And anyways, Rufus and Lily were together years earlier when he was still rocking with Lincoln Hawk. Definitely wouldn't say he married for money.

Christina: Nate. I, too, thought they were “best friends” and Nate was important enough to get his own character. Hats off to Nate, though, for throwing the biggest hissy fit of all of the characters. It was kind of cute and probably foreshadowing of Nate’s de-friending of Dan.

Leigh: Selling out your own father who was your only friend next to Cedric the Cabbage Patch kid is really deep. Dan's smarter than to think Rufus only married Lily for money and that he's in any way a sellout.

Steve: Blair. He allegedly never intended this to be published, but to write that he had sex with his friend, who is now engaged to someone else? Even if we assume he took creative license, that's still pushing it. And if by some chance it did happen (last night didn't make it seem like it), then he really sold her out.

Eric: RUFUS! I mean, he didn't say anything worse than our Round Table has been saying about the washed up has been. But from your own son? That burns harder than Gossip Guy. Whatever happened to the dude?

Big Night For Dan

Most difficult to believe: Dan being #4 on Amazon, no one besides Chuck bothering to read the book, or Serena's reputation being hurt at work over a fictional character?

Courtney: I agree with Christina. There is no way that Daniel Day-Lewis, an Oscar winner, would even know about the newest UES scandal book. Or even more that an assistant at the company was a character in it and that was what turned him off.

Christina: Definitely Serena's “reputation” or the lack thereof ... As if Daniel Day-Lewis would give a crap about the UES.

Leigh: Is there any doubt it was the Daniel Day Lewis situation? I mean c'mon writers, at least pick an actor who might actually give a crap. And by actor, I mean a real housewife.

Steve: For argument's sake, the fact that none of the crew besides Chuck was even a little curious. Okay, Nate's just a slow reader, but Blair and Serena openly eschewed the book. Given their respective roles in Dan's life, wouldn't you think they'd be clamoring to read how he portrayed them?

Eric: Yeah I agree with everyone on Serena's rep and Daniel Day Lewis. Beyond silly. Besides, I personally would buy enough copies of Inside to make it to #4.

Everyone hates him now, but who will be the first to become friends with Dan again?

Courtney: Well it definitely isn’t going to be Nate!! Chuck isn’t mad at him so at least he has one person who is sort of his friend. Blair will be the first to return to his side. These two have become really good friends who need each other. Blair is not about to embark on her pregnancy journey without Lonely Boy and his Netflix.

Christina: Blair, always the damsel in distress, will be the first to forgive and forget. She seemingly always gets over things fairly quickly. As of late, Dan has been her shoulder to lean on and lap to cry on, so she needs to get over this novel fiasco fast and be there for Dan as he has been there for her in recent crummy times.

Leigh: Blair will need him. Otherwise I'd say Nate because Dan could buy him a bag of weed and an ice cream cone and everything would be gravy.

Steve: Nate. Considering how Serena and Rufus were eviscerated and Chuck died alone, he'll come to realize that being an irrelevant gay player wasn't so bad.

Eric: Duh, Serena. Not out of true friendship, but the girl has some movie rights to secure. Who wouldn't fall for those legs?

Blair With Chuck

Are Chuck and Blair destined to be together?

Courtney: These two used to be perfect for each other because they were scandalous and always up to something. They were a “get what we want when we want it” type couple. But since their time apart, they both have grown up and matured... for the most part. I think they are even better for each other now than before. So in one word... yes!

Christina: Haven’t you heard, “love’s an excuse to get hurt”? Speaking on behalf of all Chair fans, my response is: of course Chuck and Blair are destined to be together!

Leigh: This is a loaded question considering how passionate some of our readers are. However I've never wavered from my stance on Team Chair.

Steve: The show certainly took that direction last night, didn't it? I think Dan and Blair have made the show for much of the past year, but it's looking like a romance just isn't in the cards (except in Inside). Unless the writers listened to Penn Badgley and craft the mother of all surprises coming up. Wouldn't that be something? Here's hoping, Dair fans. Here's hoping.

Eric: Still? Chuck has Monkey and Blair has an equally stupid, loyal creature. Can't we move on to discuss what's going to happen to the prettiest couple on the show? Diana and Nate? My prediction. Nate realizes Derek wasn't so much of a mashup of his character so much as his future.

Who should star in Inside: The Movie?

Courtney: Well knowing Serena’s luck, she would end up playing herself. Blair probably wouldn’t allow anyone else to play her. And there is no one who could do justice for the infamous Chuck Bass. But if I had to pick a real actor/actress... I would definitely go Selena Gomez for Blair. I just saw a commercial for a movie they were in together and they looked super cute as BFFs.

Christina: Well, since everyone responded immediately and then dropped what they were doing to meet up ... during the day ... just for a mysterious text ... requesting their presence by none other than ... Dan, I’m betting everyone’s calendars aren’t too set in stone. Couldn’t they do a reality ... movie?!

Leigh: It's really hard to picture anyone else playing these roles but for the sake of the game, I'll give it a whirl. Keeping it in the CW family: Sabrina - Naomi from 90210. Claire - Elena from Vampire Diaries. Derek - Liam from 90210. Charlie - Damon from Vampire Diaries. Dylan Hunter - this is a toughie so I'm going to say Scott Porter purely because he's underused on Hart of Dixie and I love him on FNL.

Steve: Adam Brody as Dylan/Dan. Joseph Morgan as Charlie/Chuck. Zac Efron as Derek. Lindsay Lohan as Serena/Sabrina. Pippa Middleton as Blair. Kaylee DeFer as whatever poorly acted, ancillary character(s) they need filled at the last minute.

Eric: Where else would I go to cast sexy young stars than stick with the CW itself? I'd like to hire the entire cast of The Vampire Diaries. Ian as Derek. Paul as Chuck. Jeremy as Dylan. Candice as Serena.  And, of course, Nina as Blair.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Alessandra: They're coming tonight, right?
Dan: To the book party? No. I haven't exactly mentioned it to them yet. But I'd have to tell them the book exists first.
Alessandra: They don't know? Not any of them?
Dan: No. I'm not sure they're going to like it when they find out.
Alessandra: If they're really your friends they'll be happy to see your star rise. And they should be at the soirée tonight. When everybody learns that Anonymous is actually Daniel Humphrey.

Dan: Quick question: how big can my head get before it explodes?

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4 Music

  Song Artist
Quite Nice People Ida Maria iTunes
Ghost In Your Bed My Gold Mask iTunes
Song Jacksons Morning Brush Carlin Music