Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Jewel of Denial"

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Welcome to the third Gossip Girl Round Table discussion of the season! Below, our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our official review from earlier this morning) in great detail.

Below, TV Fanatic commander-in-chief Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy), editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines talk "The Jewel of Denial."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!

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What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: "There’s nothing more boring than a sense of morality, Humphrey." Classic Chuck Bass.

Christina: From Blair: “That is much more civilized, unlike your hair, Humphrey. You look like a Muppet.” I really just can’t get enough of the Dan jabs.

Leigh: Chuck to Dan in response to Dan doing some persuasion: "I have knee pads in the bedroom if you need them." First of all their banter kills me. Second, of course you do Chuck.

Steve: Two scenes I loved actually featured no dialogue: The camera panning up from Lily's ankle monitor to her face, and Blair's look when she saw Chuck and the dog on Gossip Girl, closing her laptop in utter confusion/disgust.

Eric: Blair calling Dan out on his Muppet hair. I've spent five years trying to figure out what that goof looked like and she pulled it off with one word.

Is it just me or is this season actually pretty good so far?!

Courtney: I absolutely agree! Gossip Girl is back on her game! Leighton Meester is killing it and I am loving that she has the majority of the stories week after week. Whether she is with Chuck, Louis, Dan, Serena, and even Charlie/Ivy... the girl shines in every scene. Dan and Blair’s friendship is one of the most enjoyable things this season so far. Even as a Dair fan, I understand it’s a friendship and even that gets me excited to tune in.

Christina: I loved last night’s. Prior to this episode, this season has just been okay. I’m looking forward to see what happens in Blair’s maybe almost fairytale.

Leigh: The first two episodes kind of sucked wind but last night turned it around for me. The Dair friendship, Ivy stepping up to Carol, the return of Rufly, and Chair's emotional scene... I might've shed a tear.

Steve: I've enjoyed it, and am glad it isn't just me. Ivy/Charlie is the lone weak link so far in my opinion. Last night at least provided us with Charlie's motive and raised the stakes a bit, unfortunately I still don't care that much. Maybe that's a credit to the other stories, which have started strong and have good potential.

Eric: I know, right! Since episode one opened in LA, this season just has such a fresh feel. I think we finally have some good scandals, primarily led by Blair's pregnancy, and supporting characters to keep this season going. Let's just hope they don't go the way of the usual Gossip Girl and just throw them away in the end.

Has Blair even opened the envelope yet, and what do you think it actually says?

Courtney: I’m thinking yes and that Chuck is going to be the father. Blair said it herself, she can’t be this close to having all her dreams come true and have them ripped away. This is GG people, that is absolutely what is going to happen.

Christina: I’m going with no, and it’s got to be Chuck’s, right?! 

Leigh: Blair opened the implausible DNA results. At first I was sure she was lying, now I don't know. Queen B has a good poker face.

Steve: I don't think she opened it. Even if she did and decided to lie about the results, she wouldn't keep it around, intact. She can't bear to look, but knows tossing it altogether would be irresponsible. I think. It looked like Dan was basically forcing her to read it, however, so clearly I'm not sure. But it can't be Louis' baby after all this.

Eric: Heck no. That envelope is as sealed up as a torn-up-and-taped together container can be. Now we all know the baby is actually Chuck's. But a Dair fan can dream, can't he?

More hilarious friendship: Blair-Dorota or Dan-Chuck?

Courtney: Blair and Dorota are always priceless but Dan and Chuck is downright hilarious. Who buys someone a dog that isn’t really their friend? Only Lonely Boy would do such a thing. I guess he knew what he was doing - how amazing was the scene with Chuck and Monkey at the end.

Christina: Blair-Dorota! What an unusual and funny pairing!

Leigh: Blair and Dorota are always shutting it down so let's give someone else the props this week. I am loving Dan and Chuck as friends, or whatever they are.

Steve: B and D. Chuck and Dan can't expect to overtake a legendary duo in just a few scenes, but give them a bunch more like the hilarious one above and we'll talk.

Eric: The bromance affectionately coined Duck by our Gossip Girl reviewer. Between knee pads and a dog named Monkey, their scene stole the show.

Hardest to believe: Blair's DNA test, Chuck adopting a dog, or Nate turning down sex?

Courtney: DNA test no doubt. Really? Just a hand addressed envelope written personal and confidential? There is holes all over that story.

Christina: Blair’s DNA test! Talk about impossible. By the way, that last scene with Chuck and Monkey was pretty heartbreaking. My dog, Cotton, and I were watching, and I couldn’t help but think, poor Chuck. I still am in shock that Nate turned down sex.

Leigh: Nate turned down sex? Maybe I just didn't notice because Chace Crawford wasn't taking his clothes off.

Steve: The test, however laden with impossibility, is central to the main plot, so I'll overlook it. Monkey is emblematic of Chuck's need for companionship and his relationship with new BFF Dan, so I can see that as well. Nate spurning Diana and threatening to go do something more substantive, though? Where did that gumption come from?

Eric: Hidden option four: Diana has heard of Gossip Girl. Come on, I know she supposedly gossips about Manhattan's elite, but she's gone from talking about Lonely Boy and other high school students at Constance to being uttered in the same conversation as News Corp during a plot? How big / broad could her coverage be if Serena is S and Blair is B. Let's just say she's no THG.

Nate and Diana Picture

What kind of scandals will Nate and Diana uncover?

Courtney: They will definitely be the ones to uncover the Ivy/Charlie situation and will most likely blast Blair’s pregnancy.

Christina: I’ve already got Gossip Girl for scandals. I need the best kept secret of all: Rufus’ homemade waffle recipe! Let’s hope Nate and Diana can help.

Leigh: Nate and Diana will find out who A is, who the mother is, who leaked the latest celebrity nude photos ... pretty much anything EXCEPT who Gossip Girl is. Remember what happened last time someone tried to take her on?

Steve: Looks like outing Charlie as an impostor is first order of business. Beyond that, Jenny Packham's clientele includes Keira Knightley, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Aniston and Pippa Middleton (thank you Wikipedia). There could be some pretty famous iPhones at that fashion show. P.S. LOL @ Leigh.

Eric: OMG. Leigh pretty much nailed them all. Other than answering the one question eating away at me this season: Who is Klaus afraid of!?

How excited are you to learn what Dan wrote?

Courtney: Sooo excited! He always has been “the ultimate insider,” so the info has to be flowing. I loved that the cover of the book looked like a real Gossip Girl novel. Also really looking forward to Nate being gay and the return of Charlie Trout. Monday can not come soon enough.

Christina: How excited?! Is this a rhetorical question? Well, thanks to what I consider the best invention ever, my DVR, I was able to pause and get a first glimpse at Dan’s Inside. You can thank me later: "Standing behind the podium with a gavel in hand was Clair Carlyle, the president of the Florence School for Girls' sophomore class. When Clair demanded attention, everyone respected her request. She was smell yet giant. Young yet adult. Girlish yet macho... Clair was in charge and we were her hapless minions."

Leigh: It's gonna be a best seller! Send me a signed copy Lonely Boy. After all, Gossip Girl did once refer to you as the "ultimate insider."

Steve: Quite. As Courtney noted, it's very "meta" of a show based on a book series to have Dan write such a novel. And even if the Dair sex scene was all in Humphrey's head, the producers still get props for throwing fans a bone (pun intended) and letting their love evolve, albeit fictionally. One can only imagine what other secrets he dished and creative liberties he employed in cultivating Inside. P.S. Thank you Christina for sleuthing worthy of Gossip Girl herself ... or at least our Gossip Girl spoiler section.

Eric: Based on the latest promo? 11. Dan slept with Blair and Nate is gay? This sounds like a hilarious alternate universe reminiscent of some of the fan fiction in our Gossip Girl forum. I can't wait to explore. 

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes

Blair: Go away! I'm preparing for my interview with Hello magazine.
Dorota: But doctor office call again. They have test results.
Blair: Hang up or I'll tell the reporter you're undocumented.

They say the only way to conquer your fear is face what you fear the most. You must walk into the belly of the beast. And risk the possibility of failure. But try to hide from your fear, and you risk it swallowing you whole.

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