Two and a Half Men Review: "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"

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Well, it's good to see Two and a Half Men taking advantage of its half man this week, with the first regular episode to air after the two-part season premiere introducing Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Stunned Alan

So was Jake, a live-in Berta, and an increased dose of Judith and Herb enough to make "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food" feel like a classic episode of Two and a Half Men?

I realize trying to compare this show to its Charlie days is going to get old fast.  But I feel like as the show's first episode after the premiere, I still must do so.

So I'm going to leave it as this: the scenes without Kutcher almost feel like the days of old. But the second you have an example like Walden's dinner date with Bridget, it feels like a whole new sitcom... just with the same name. And that's a tough thing to accept after putting in eight years with these people.

I want this show to survive because I still love the other characters. I was glad to see Jake back and I still enjoy his dynamic with his father and the potential blackmailing of Judith. That felt like old Men, complete with a clueless, goofy Herb.

But Kutcher character is so poorly written that the writers can't even decide/remember if he went to high school? Come on, did he skip it or did he have a high school sweetheart!? He still just makes no sense.

I'm not even blaming Kutcher's terrible acting. You can see any of his recent movies to judge that. I'm mostly complaining that Walden doesn't add up. One minute he's a moron who can't put on his shoes, the next he talks like a programming genius who dropped out of MIT.

It's one thing to be socially inept and a genius. We see that weekly on Lorre's other brainchild, The Big Bang Theory. But you can't both be a moron and a genius. Lacking street smarts and not caring enough to take care of yourself is one thing, yet talking and acting like a child with an on and off switch does not make for social awkwardness.

I'll keep saying it until they do it, but they need to continue to tweak Walden's character if it's going to work. That, or just remove him and let the rest of their cast do their thing. But since I doubt that's an option, please look at the geniuses on TBBT. There's got to be some material to borrow from there.

Oh, and will someone please get Kutcher a haircut? If he's going to be believable as the face of gay money, the guy should at least look the part.


Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 1.7 / 5.0 (500 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


IMO, the new shows failure is less about Walden’s appearance and more about the lack of chemistry between the cast. Sorry, but I think it’s going to take much more than a shave and haircut to save this “situation comedy�.


Waldon IS "hot." But--it's going to take more than his "hotness" looks to make this show last... If this show is, in fact, going to last at all, the writers need to step up his character and make him look more like an adult. This last episode made him look so childish (and cluelessly stupid), that, really, other than his financial status, why would ANYONE want to jump in the sack with him? (A food fight in a family restaurant? REALLY?) Charlie might have been a wealthy, good-looking, substance-abusing, womanizing sleazeball, but at least he wasn't walking around, cluelessly, wondering why his steak wasn't cut up for him? While the first episode of "Men" was ok and introduced wealthy, good-looking "Waldon," the next one was a disaster. SMARTEN HIM UP, PLEASE! I don't know many women out there who would want to spend time with a child -- even if he IS a "self-made millionaire." At times, I felt like my intelligence was insulted by his character... Here's hoping the next few episodes are entertaining. If the ratings start to bomb, here's a suggestion: Maybe you can copy what the "Dallas" writers finally had to do and make this season a dream that Charlie died and BRING HIM BACK!!!


Lorre, has to much pride and stupidity to bring Charlie back. This show is an epic failure . I use to think Charlie was responsable for the off colored jokes. But now I see that it was loree . The show has not only lost all it humor,but also has become vulgar and totaly not entertaining. I have chosen to never watch this show again.


Monday night with Aston Kutcher IS NOT GOOD. The food fight was terrible. I agree with the other comment, CUT THAT HAIR. I'm trying to give it a chance because I like Allan, and Herb, Jake is ok, but I'm fading fast.


Berta, Jake, and Alan continue to be AWESOME! I don't think we need to bring Charlie back, BUT I do think that Kutcher's character needs to be SMART. This is one handsome guy. Why is he being portrayed as ignorant? Come on.....let's make him a macho man! He is just way too cute to be acting stupid. Throwing food in a restaurant and acting like a baby????? No way! I will keep trying to watch, but things are going to have to improve. Kutcher needs to be the hunk that he really is!


Wow, I think jdo444 has really got something! That's a wonderful solution for this show that's missing that "certain something" that was Charlie. Are you listening, Chuck Lorre? Sometimes you just have to eat crow and I think it's time to bring our boy Charlie back. Ashton can't act and he needs to work on his marriage, so let's help him leave the show due to "personal reasons".


Show was better but the restaurant scene was ridiculous. I agree, Walden can't be a moron and a genius. His character must be better written if this version of Men is going to survive. It dropped off 8 million viewers from week one to week two. I'll be interested in seeing where the number is this week.


Let the show go on, I love, love love these comments. I agree the show sucks without Charlie but these comments are brilliant, the show has moved to the comments. I sometimes wonder what show the critics are watching because they all rave about how the show is still number one, getting better. They are obviously not watching the same show as the rest of you.I also think Lorre should hire some of you to write for the show,you would do a better job.


Wow it just isn't getting any better. It sounds like a laugh track is playing. The pitch and laughter is always the same.. I am still waiting for Aston to come out at the end of the show, yell burn, and tell us that we have been punked. Also like how they have moved Aston to the middle of the opening show when they are singing the theme song. Thusly telling us that Allan and everyone else are not the stars of the show.. I have never sat through a Two and A Half Men show and never laughed not even once.. But they have pulled the hat trick.. Not funny.. RIP Two and A Half Men.


I will not waste my time watching another episode,it's no good without Charlie,Ashton is a horrible actor. I'm glad reruns are aired in L A. CBS should cancel ASAP.

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 3 Quotes

This guy is like genital herpes. once you got him, you get him for life.


Alan: Remember, at grandma's we have to pee while sitting down so you don't get splatter anywhere.
Jake: I'll manage and that's how you pee anyway.