Two and a Half Men Review: "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food"

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Well, it's good to see Two and a Half Men taking advantage of its half man this week, with the first regular episode to air after the two-part season premiere introducing Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Stunned Alan

So was Jake, a live-in Berta, and an increased dose of Judith and Herb enough to make "Big Girls Don't Throw Dog Food" feel like a classic episode of Two and a Half Men?

I realize trying to compare this show to its Charlie days is going to get old fast.  But I feel like as the show's first episode after the premiere, I still must do so.

So I'm going to leave it as this: the scenes without Kutcher almost feel like the days of old. But the second you have an example like Walden's dinner date with Bridget, it feels like a whole new sitcom... just with the same name. And that's a tough thing to accept after putting in eight years with these people.

I want this show to survive because I still love the other characters. I was glad to see Jake back and I still enjoy his dynamic with his father and the potential blackmailing of Judith. That felt like old Men, complete with a clueless, goofy Herb.

But Kutcher character is so poorly written that the writers can't even decide/remember if he went to high school? Come on, did he skip it or did he have a high school sweetheart!? He still just makes no sense.

I'm not even blaming Kutcher's terrible acting. You can see any of his recent movies to judge that. I'm mostly complaining that Walden doesn't add up. One minute he's a moron who can't put on his shoes, the next he talks like a programming genius who dropped out of MIT.

It's one thing to be socially inept and a genius. We see that weekly on Lorre's other brainchild, The Big Bang Theory. But you can't both be a moron and a genius. Lacking street smarts and not caring enough to take care of yourself is one thing, yet talking and acting like a child with an on and off switch does not make for social awkwardness.

I'll keep saying it until they do it, but they need to continue to tweak Walden's character if it's going to work. That, or just remove him and let the rest of their cast do their thing. But since I doubt that's an option, please look at the geniuses on TBBT. There's got to be some material to borrow from there.

Oh, and will someone please get Kutcher a haircut? If he's going to be believable as the face of gay money, the guy should at least look the part.


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Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


Alan was tolerable when Charlie was with him, now he is not, Jake was cute when he was truly a half man, now he is not, even Berta seems different. I don't know if it is Ashton's fault or it is now just a group with no chemistry but it is ordinary at best. I, too, much prefer the old re-runs.


We agree with Gary clark comments and the show will never be #1 again in the ratings, Chuck L and CBS president made a very big mistake over a pety incident between them all, Charlie screwed himself out of a wonderful and what was funny show..I will be watching him on any reruns I can find and our collection of "Men" DVD's...just saying!


We thought Alan and Jake were really funny this week, and Berta funny as always, but Ashton does not bring anything to the show. There is no flow between them now. Bring the ghost of Charlie back, or is he alive, we may never know. Show screwed up by hiring another actor, all they had to do was work with what they already had. Bring Herb over for some fun times..


I think as long as the writers keep making negative remarks about Charlie then comparisons are gonna keep about they stop taking digs at the character and actually focus on Walden's character development a bit more!


Dear Mr. Lorre, Change the name of the show to “three half men� and ride out the rest of the season with subpar ratings.You substituted Sheen with a cheap irritating cranked up laugh track and a poorly chosen replacement. The new writing has no continuity or creativity. The negative reviews are overwhelming. You now heard from your audience …….so, fix it!


They buried Charlie on the 1st episode and buried all the jokes with him!!
I'll be watching re-runs on Fox and FX too!
Where there's Charlie...there's laughter!!


I always thought Kutchet was way over rated, loved his character in "That 70's Show" but that was as far as it went. He is having a bad few weeks everyone knows now he is a horrible actor and now they know he cheats on his wife (never got that anyway, makes both look weird) but never the less he is all done as a bankable star..don't let the door hit you Ashton on the way back to wherever you came from.


It's called chemistry, and there no longer is any with this show. That rare magic that happens between actors and makes a show great is what sent Two 1/2 Men to the top. Now it's a very average sitcom that usually gets cancelled after one season. I gave it a shot since I still loved the other characters, but stopped watching after the second episode. Nothing against Ashton, but wow....what's happening with the show is pathetic.
I have to agree with Chevy's comments, which are spot on....and I'll continue to watch the FX and Fox re-runs in syndication as well.


Are we being Punk'd?? Ok Ashton, you got it's time for you to go.
You are "LOSING!"


I want this to succeed, but Kutcher is almost distracting to the humor. And what is with the Laugh Track?? It was so loud last night that I almost turned the channel because it felt like we were watching a show that was using the laugh track as it's punchline.

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 3 Quotes

This guy is like genital herpes. once you got him, you get him for life.


Alan: Remember, at grandma's we have to pee while sitting down so you don't get splatter anywhere.
Jake: I'll manage and that's how you pee anyway.