Gossip Girl Review: Rhodes to Nowhere

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For a fleeting moment tonight, it looked like after six months of raspy-voiced lies, ulterior motives, convoluted story lines and plot twists, Ivy's deception would finally reach critical mass on Gossip Girl.

Not the case.

Instead of being exposed for the WT wannabe impostor she is, Charlie/Ivy (known to some TV Fanatic staffers as Chivy) somehow slithered out of her biggest jam yet, and came out smelling like roses. Ugh.

It's never a good sign when you find yourself cracking a smile at a scene meant to be deathly serious, but that's where I found myself as she defended herself against Max's "lies" with Carol's help.

I could spend hours ranting about the screen time Chivy takes up with relatively little advancement of the storyline, and surely some of you will in the comments. So I'll try to focus on the positives:

Cece and Charlie

"Rhodes to Perdition" is the night she became a Rhodes, because all the poor girl wants is a family. Sucks that she got paid to act like a member of this dysfunctional crew, but they're better than nothing.

It's hard not to feel a little bad for Chivy after what Max revealed, and so callously at that. Sure, she's a manipulative liar leading a double life and probably guilty of fraud, but she just wants to be loved!

If nothing else, all this set up the vengeance of Max, who is now infuriated and off the rails. Surely he'll be coming after Chivy again, no matter how "untouchable" she feels she is with her new surname.

No last name stops a bus from running you over, Chives. Just saying.

More significantly, there's a mystery surrounding the real Charlie Rhodes, and apparently Carol wants to keep that under wraps. So look for that character to be cast sometime this spring most likely.

All in all, not a great use of the episode's primary storyline, even if the Studio 54 theme did lead to the return of Serena's cleavage after an absence of several weeks. There's always a silver lining, right?

What also stood out about "Rhodes to Perdition", besides the fact that the bulk of the past hour was spent building up to a major confrontation that fizzled out, were the distinct B, C and D storylines.

I actually didn't mean the characters' initials, but if you read it that way, there was an N story too, and an intriguing one, as ol' Man Bangs slicked back his hair and rolled up his sleeves as Editor-in-Chief.

Whether you'd call him naive or virtuous, or something in between, Nate is a man who stays true to his convictions. He never tipped off Gossip Girl and he wouldn't bite at the first hint of a big scandal.

He has no interest in running a celebrity gossip site (his loss). Salacious stories are all well and good, as long as they're legit. Give the newly-appointed honcho credit for not being played by Trip's wife.

Unless he still is, and doesn't even know the extent of it yet.

Was the Grandfather behind it as part of his plan to rebuild Nate's reputation? What will become of the cheating scandal that wasn't? Will Maureen still try to plant the story elsewhere? This can't be over.

Regardless of what lies ahead, it was fun to see Nate at the helm and handling his role with aplomb. If only he didn't have to balance classes at Columbia with this job! Oh, wait, Gossip Girl dropped that.

A Lovely Lady in Red

While Nathaniel was digging for answers at the Spectator, Blair was doing some searching of her own. Convinced that Chuck held the key to turning Louis around, she accompanied her ex to therapy.

That led to easily the most noteworthy exchange of the entire night, as a depressed B openly wondered if she was in fact the reason Chuck - and now Louis - plunged into seemingly eternal darkness.

Chuck insists she wasn't, and he's correct. His self-destructive tendencies were caused by a fear of losing her, and only he is to blame. But their connection is one that clearly provokes intense passion.

[SIDE NOTE: What the heck happened after the closing scene last week? That was shaping up to be a pretty major Chair moment, no? Then it's just completely forgotten about ... major pet peeve.]

Together, Chair can be very combustible. We've seen them at their best and, individually, at moments they would rather forget. Now the question is whether by letting her go, Chuck lost her for good.

I'm betting not. With Louis out of the picture for two episodes and the (former?) Basshole's stock rising by the hour, there's no way she's marrying the prince. The Chuck-Blair tension will soon boil over.

Just pray that the playoff is worth it ... and don't ask me where Dan fits in.

Don't expect Humphrey to let his feelings for her go easily, based on what's been teased so far. Think there's any chance she'll reciprocate his feelings, or will she spurn him in favor of her dark knight?

One person who's been down on Dan in a different way turned out to be his agent, Alessandra, although she was only trying to help his book by generating social media buzz under a nom de plume.

This was pretty much filler, although I like that the show hasn't simply abandoned Dan's writing aspirations like they have other things ... such as the fact that the characters were in college once.

Maybe Rufus' words and Alessandra's clandestine mission will give Dan the gumption to go after what he wants in life, and I don't mean literary success. Well, I don't mean only literary success.

I'm talking about Blair, people. Don't count Humphrey out yet.

Also, give the show credit for creating a real ihatehumphrey Twitter account (and HumphreyLove ... although I don't expect Katy Perry will be re-Tweeting either to her 12,505,321 followers tonight).

Kind of a slow episode overall, but not altogether bad, and hopefully, next week will make up for it. From the looks of the promos for "Riding in Town Cars With Boys," 2011 will go out with a bang.

One that may hint at the fate of Blair's baby ...

What did you think of this week's Gossip Girl? Looking ahead to next week, will Dan and/or Chuck confess their feelings for Blair? Will she call off the wedding? Comment below!


Editor Rating: 3.4 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.2 / 5.0 (325 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


I loved the Chuck and Blair scenes in the episode. I loved that he told her she didn't drag him into the dark but that losing her and him become dark and desperate. I loved that he called her the lightest thing that came into his life and how he described that losing her was the worst thing in his life (Blair means so much to Chuck the romantic in me totally swooned). In terms of character I also loved that Chuck made it clear that he changed for himself I feel that is really important with growth.
Looking at the previews for the next episode I'm filled with an odd mix of excited and dread. I'm excited because it looks like there will be great Chair scenes but dread because there is a car accident so I'm willing to bet a lot of money that it ends up pushing them apart...again. Thus my hiatus of GG will go longer then it really will show wise as I only watch for Chuck and Blair.


Can I just say that Blair freaking rocked tonight!!!! Or more specifically Leighton did :worship: I loved the therapy scene it was like everything great about CB all boiled in one, funny, witty, with a touch of heart and angst. CB were powerful tonight...although Ed felt a little flat performance wise in a few bits and pieces but overall they were superb. I even didnt mind the Dan stuff because I kept picturing the writers going through the same ordeal with all us GG fans and couldnt help but find it kinda amusing :lol: I think its nice to see that the writers and the fandom can just take a step back occassionally and make fun of themselves and not take things too seriously. Overall the episode wasn't perfect, some parts dragged but things seem to be moving forward at a much better pace then the start of the season and the storylines are becoming more interesting and intense as each episode moves on....its making me really really excited about the next lot of episodes coming up and THAT excitement of where things are headed is what was sorely missing from the second half of last season....there just wasn't that anticipation for where things were going like there use to be, so Im really glad that the writers have gotten a bit of their mojo back.


Side note: What ever happened to Lily's trial? The storyline seems to have been dumped and has had NO mention since episode 2 (or 3). I'd actually like to see Lily rot in prison for a while. Change the layout of the season. As for the promo - HELL YEAH! DAIR SCENE!


"I can't imagine the day I won't"
The best thing about this episode was the great Chair scenes I love the new Chuck. I didn't mind the Charlie stuff, she actually appreciates the clueless Rhodes family - I kinda hope she is never outed
Max needs to get lost, he claims to have loved her but he switched at the first sight of money. Now the real question is what the hell happened to the real Charlie Rhodes??? Maybe she's Gossip Girl, lol


I found this to be an interesting episode for the fact that it focused on Ivy. She - along with Dan, Blair and Dorota - are the most interesting characters and the only ones worth watching.
Every other character bores me to the depths of hell. I don't mean to diss the show, but when you ruin characters with boring and typical storylines for that character, they stay ruined!


I don't get why people think the Dair path is ridiculous. The Chuck/Blair relationship was great in the beginning, but their relationship became so unhealthy, that I'd rather Blair end up alone or with someone like Dan. I'm sure that the writers are aware that a large portion of the viewers of this show are young girls. An ending that rewards Chucks emotionally abusive behavior towards Blair would send a terrible message to young viewers. It's ironic that Blair, who was meant to be this powerful woman, becomes the antithesis of feminism when she dates people like Louis, who tries to control her, or Chuck, who tries to pimp her. Seriously, this show is one bad actress short of a Lifetime movie! In contrast, when Blair is around Dan, we finally get a glimpse of the strong independent women that she wants to be. So I guess, this is why I still prefer to live in "Dairyland", as one Chair fan said!


I liked this episode surprisingly, even if it was centered on the Rhodes too much. Charlie is a badass and a schemer but I do wonder if she has other reasons to remain there. Not that I don't want her (lol) but there should be another point in her character, wouldn't it? I also loved the Chuck and Blair scenes. Chuck telling her that she was the lightest thing that happened in his life made me so happy. This is proof that Chuck and Blair love each other's dark and light. Falling in love with her made him better and gave his life a meaning. Hopefully they'll be reunited soon even if I think the car crash will make both rethink about this decision... :(


Have'nt watched GG since episode 6 but kept reading the forums for reviews and reactions.I only have one word to say CHAIR!I don't mean to be rude but dair,i don't see there's nothing but friendship.I want CHAIR!


So obviously the car crash is how Blair loses the baby.
I wonder what happened to the real Charlie? Carol was pretty cold when she talked about her.


I havn't watched the episode yet but I want to voice this. Those who believe Dair is endgame are in Dairyland and need to keep reading fanfiction. Especially Iv, who happens to be on every forum.

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Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 9 Quotes

Charlie: I've never seen so much lamé before. Grandma actually wore this?
Lily: Yes. And looked fabulous riding in on an elephant in it. Which is why the Studio 54 anniversary party is in her honor. And Bianca Jagger's, but we won't mention that to her when she arrives.

On the Upper East Side, staying alive isn't as easy as it appears. And after last week's security breach leading to no new tips, it looks like I might be dancing by myself.

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