Hawaii Five-0 Review: Too Fast, Not Enough Furious

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Ike Maka: Identity 

While not as much fun as last week’s bromantic opening, we did get launched into the team again on Hawaii Five-0 here, with some one-on-one time as Danny was staying at Steve’s.

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that Danny looks like he would be the worst house guest ever. I can’t imagine having someone stay with me who keeps the TV on all night, so loud that I could hear it clearly from my room. Steve is a stronger man than I am. I would have kicked Danny to the curb long before he had been there two weeks. 

I guess “Homeless Danno” is Scott Cann’s new thing this season, as he has been in a couple of different hotels and almost rented a haunted apartment. Here’s hoping he can find a place to call his own so we can get back to some more original interactions between him and Steve.

Danno on the Coucho

As for the main case... being an unashamed lover of all things Fast and Furious, (who doesn't love Vin Diesel?!?) I was ready to sink my teeth into the seedy underbelly of street racing and restored cars in Hawaii.  

Sadly, what we got was more fizzle than dazzle. Don’t get me wrong, the story was entertaining, but other than the one scene in the garage and Lori playing bait, we didn't get much in the way of the cars racing, just car theft. 

Okay, the opening scene with the cops chasing the Camero was pretty awesome, but it looked like they were actually trying to play up the car theft ring angle right from that moment. When the police started popping open shipping containers and found the muscle cars inside my wife actually asked out loud: What, did they watch Gone in 60 Seconds?

This comment was made humorously ironic a little later when the dead guy turned out to be going by the last name of Raines (Nicholas Cage was Memphis Raines in the aforementioned movie, as everyone knows). My only wish would have been for more cars. 

In retrospect, I wonder if there are really that many muscle cars in Hawaii, given that everything has to be shipped over. Anyone from the islands know?  

Cars aside, I have to mention my new favorite sharp-shooter: Kono!

Who knew she was trained to as a sharpshooter? I thought she was going to be on the balcony and she was going to point her gun at the bad guy when he backed out of the door. I did not see a head shot coming! Nicely done, Kono.

There was only one thing that truly bugged me and that was Max and his constant ignoring of Steve and Danny. I won't even get into how stupid it was for him to be mad at these two over them not replying to his personal email. What I will mention is that both Steve and Danny have no problem confronting bad guys with weapons, yet neither could man up and follow Max into the next room and corner him for an answer?

Apparently the Medical Examiner out ranks Five-0, given how they went to the “kiss his butt” resolution method. 

Finally, I leave you with one question from the Lori fan club: “How awesome was Lori as Sandy from Grease at the end?” I don’t blame Danny and Steve for scrambling out of the office, I would have been at the front of the line. 


Editor Rating: 3.6 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.1 / 5.0 (124 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.


Let's give Lauren German some credit where it is due. According to the males in my circle, they all thought that she did look hot, and that she is an attractive woman. That did not change their minds about the character overall. I'm sure more of you would like to be able to pull off that outfit. Personal attacks on her looks, are not called for. P.S. Castle fans, stick to your own website. Castle is in its 4th season and should have more of a following, but H50 seems to be too close to their numbers in their 2nd year for all of Castle's fans comfort. If its so good then what are you worried about. I'm sticking with H50.


Aww. Not much love for this episode. I really liked it! Everything was fast paced, dialogue was great and a little less Lori goes a long way. Sorry Jim G. I do like the idea of more muscle cars and street racing though! I was drooling over those awesome cars!
Overall, I really liked this episode. Although I also couldn't figure out why Steve and Danny didn't just corner Max and ask him what was up. They looked like they were afraid of him!


What's with this guest star business on the show? Chris Bauer is advertised as the guest star and had just one scene like Kensi (Daniella Ruah) from NCIS LA did. At least in the old Jack Lord show guest stars had to do a little work, usually as this week's villain, for their free trip to Hawaii.


I'm enjoying this season except for the Lori character. I'm REALLY holding out hope that she gets killed off! I can't take her for the entire season. I DVR the show and fast forward through many of her scenes. PLEASE stick with the original 4. They don't need another team member, just awesome supporting characters like Max, Komakona, Joe, Gracie and Mary to name a few.


I watched the first 3 minutes of so-called bromance and sadly felt confirmed in the decision I made a week ago - The writers (and casting directors) have driven a promising re-boot into the ground. No more having to decide between Castle and H50; Castle wins and I'm not even bothering with space on my DVR, And this decision makes me sad. I was highly sceptical of this reboot last Fall, having been a fan of the ORIGINAL show from catching it on reruns as I grew up. Yeah, it was clunky at times, and Jack Lord's McGarrett could be sooo melodramatic at times. But each episode had a well-written crime to resolve. And it worked hard to accurately weave-in foreign affairs in dust-ups with the ChiComs (esp. one of the top 10 TV villians of all time - Wo Fat!) or island dictators. And like all good ensemble shows, the chemistry and relationships between the main characters worked brilliantly. Season 1 of the reboot seemed to mostly honor all those touch-points - relationship (those carguments were just stellar!!!); good re-casting of 4 originals; interesting twist with a/female Gov. Jameson; and they even brought back Wo Fat in a fascinating way!! None of this seems to be in evidence this year. I give up. They ruined it.


Good idea, bad execution? I guess.


This is my first posting on this site so please don't kill me. I love Hawaii Five 0. I watched and have recorded all of Season 1 and I have recorded every episode to date. Season 1 was better-maybe because it was brand new. This season is good. I like the guest stars but they seem to either only be in it for 5 minutes or take up more screen time then we would like. I'm not sure if the actors that plan Joe and Lori are considered guest stars? I like Joe at a minimum (loved him on Lost) not in every scene. I can't quite warm up to Lori (liked the actress as a guest star on Human Target. Nailed her part on that show). The character seems so forced and unemotional, one sided. I love the guy from Heroes as the M.E. He has nailed his character so well. All in all I still like Hawaii Five 0 and I understand changes are needed. Just hope they don't change too much so that it becomes a whole other show.


OMG kaydee, I totally forgot about Chin Ho tapping on the window with the shotgun, you're right that was pretty awesome! Jim


I can watch shows several times thanks to my cable's prime-time show replays (no DVR needed) - H50 is one I sometimes review and I always speed thru the Lori scenes. Much more enjoyable when she's minimized. Sincerely hope someone is listening so that we can get back to just enjoying a great team and stop lambasting a poor actress (no, it's not just the writing) who has not established any chemistry on screen - or off, judging by the majority reviews.


This episode was better. The Steve/Danny moments at the beginning were funny and classic (ALMOST as good as S1) - and the headphones at the end priceless. Seeing more of Chin (loved his knocking on the window - license and registration please!!) and Kono - at her kickass, badass best. Most importantly, less Lori being shoved down our throats this week. But really, it doesn't make a difference, 6 episodes or 40 - she doesn't cut it - she brings nothing and offers less - she's not even good at being sexy. I'm glad Ross said he doesn't care for her - makes me realize that the men don't like her either. Max was annoying last night but that's a trait of the syndrome he suffers from (and he does play it well!) I'm hoping the writers are getting back on track and the remainder of the season will be looking up.

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Hawaii Five-0 Season 2 Episode 9 Quotes

Danny: The waves keep crashing over and over
Steve: Some would call it soothing Danny
Danny: Some would call it Hawaiian Water Torture.

Not me, I would not partake of such in such a morally questionable activity. Other, on the other hand don't have my strength of character.