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Hawaii Five-0 Review: Out of The Pan, Into the Fryer

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"Alaheo Pau'ole:" Gone Forever.

Was this entire Hawaii Five-0 episode pieced together from spare parts of better episodes? There were so many disjointed pieces that I nearly got lost along the way. Given the non-sequitur nature of the hour, I’m just going to break down the main points.

A Hawaiian Wedding

Lori and Danny Handcuffed: Does anyone have any idea what point there was to this storyline? Furthermore, why did Steve feel the need to drop they key off the balcony? It all felt totally out of place.

We have not seen any indication that Lori and Danny would be romantically linked. What the heck is the “Jersey Slip” and why do you need to be handcuffed to another person for it to work? Finally, what type of horrible police officer is Danny that his handcuff key is not on a key ring of any sort... and he only has one in his possession? While I know some might fault Lori for not having her keys, she didn't bring her handcuffs, remember. They were Danny's.

Vincent Fryer, Chief of Detectives: I will take back every bad thing I said about Fryer as the head of Internal Affairs if they will just send him back! Watching Tom Sizemore violate the Miranda Rights of suspects with his “tough as nails abusive cop” overacting caused me physical pain. I now know how many of you anti-Lori fans must feel. It took all my will power not to throw something at the TV when he would spew dialog such as I have a badge that says I can do what ever I want. Makes me want to hurl just remembering it.

Then, just in case we need a reason for Fryer to be in the episode, we learn he 's gotten promoted to Chief of Detectives. Huh? what’s the Frak is “Chief of Detectives?” And regardless of what Fryer said, the head of an entire division of police would not be out busting down doors.

Joe White and Steve at Odds: I really don’t care who Shelburn is anymore. I’m so tired of the ring-around-the-rosy conversations that Steve and Joe are having about it. The story barely moves forward. If Steve really wanted to know what Joe was up to, he would have had Kono or Lori pull his cell phone records to see who he has been talking to and the facts would come flooding out. 

Then, you had Joe's last line of the episode: I was hoping you wouldn’t say that. It made one of my eyes twitch. Joe have you met Steve? He left his partner wearing handcuffs during a formalwear fitting; did you really think he was just going to drop the whole thing? 

Man Shot But Alive: I will commend the twist and turns this case took. As a whole, it was a decent concept for an investigation. However, as mentioned above, it would have been a better story without Sizemore’s Fryer tainting the scenery. It would have also been nice to see the wife walk in on the husband fresh from his coma, as having Kono and Steve telling the woman that her son was really dead as the lead in for Chin-Ho’s wedding was odd to say the least. 

Chin-Ho and Malia Got Married: That does lead us to the wedding. Ho'omaika'i (congratulations) to you both! I wish we had gotten more than four minutes of the episode dedicated to Chin-Ho and Malia. We had about 90 seconds of the guys in the fitting room and about two minutes of wedding montage. 

We're going to have to wait until 2012 to find out more about Shelburn and/or what happen to Hiro Yoshimura as Hawaii Five-O takes a break for the holidays.

Mr. Kurtzman, a great holiday gift for the fans would be to come back with an idea of what story you want to tell in an episode and go with it. You might also consider dialing back the ridiculousness as well. My eyes may hurt for months from all the rolling they did this week. 

Review

Editor Rating: 3.1 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.7 / 5.0 (162 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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Matt richenthal

@Miinah: Jim is a TV CRITIC. The idea that our writers should not cover shows because they are critical is one of the stranger comments we get on TV Fanatic. If you wish to read nothing but fluff pieces, there may be places for that on the Internet.
But Jim is clearly a fan of this show, he has just found some issues with it over the last few weeks and he's illustrated those very well. It's silly to say someone should not review a program because he or she has negative things to say about it. What do you think the job of a TV critic is?!?

Mrs cleaver

Weird episode and as usual(lately) no answers from the writers. WHY is Danny staying in that gorgeous suite at the Hilton (product placement anyone)? How can he afford that? As Jim asked "Why DID Steve feel the need to drop the key off the balcony?" I thought for sure when Danny was "busy" we'd see his museum curator girlfriend there with him. And who pops out from behind the door, like some horror movie creature - producers favorite, Lori!
Will Joe ever answer a question from McG with a straight answer? He basically "took the fifth" on Steve's direct question "do you know who Shelburne is" and Steve just walks away and lets it go? Have the writers ever seen this show? McG lets nothing go.
And the "dead guy" at the bottom of the pit (cute outfit on Max as usual). No one thinks to take a pulse anymore? No paramedics got there before 5-0?
Course we are not watching this show for realism, right peeps?
No I watch it to see Alex O'Loughlin with his shirt off and it's been WAY too long since that has happened - just saying. And to laugh at the car-gu-ments and it's been while since one of those was more than twenty seconds long & only mildly amusing as well.
I also agree that the "yeah sorry, your kid was horribily murdered and buried in an unmarked grave for no reason - ok let's segway into the big wedding scene now" didn't flow well at all. The big two minute wedding scene. And Malia (the successful doctor) has NO girlfriends who could stand up for her besides Kono? Weird again.
Kono kicking butt - yay. Tom Sizemore - eh, can take him or leave him.
Hoping for some answers in the new year but not gonna hold my breath.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

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@Miinah, the reason many of us hates Lori was yes, primarily taking kono's screentime. But part of being in a cast ensemble is having that chemistry which makes it so enjoyable to watch the teamwork and banter, and Lori has no chemistry with any of the cast members. E.g. The awkward convo she had with Chin in episode 5, the even worse scene with steve at the beginning of the boxing episode, and today's scene with danny just goes to show that she lacks chemistry with all the male members of Five-O. Shows like NCIS, Friends and HIMYM have been so successful because they never add any additional main characters, because the core characters that were there from episode 1 are the reason why audiences watch it. Please take note P. Lenkov

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I really liked this episode and i think (Jim) should maybe stop writing reviews because his always so critical about everything.
The handcuffs - dont you guys have some sense of humour! And i dont know why everyone hates Lori, at the start she was annoying because she covered Konos time but know there is nothing wrong with her. I mean its called Five-0 and i think its great for them to have 5 people instead of 4!
And the Joe thing, isnt it more interesting that they leave us more hanging everyday because thats how every show creates suspense! I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Keep Smiling :)

Martinelli

Lori and Danny Handcuffed – That was just for fun, and I actually liked seing Dany and Lori embarassing themselves. You are right about what kind of cup Danny is. Even without the key he should be able to open the cuffs, at least that's what we saw in the movies, and that applies to Lori too!!!! Vincent Fryer – Chief of Detectives – I totally agree with you on each point! Joe White and Steve at Odds – I agree on this one as well. I have a feeling that Steve will start to investigate Jo's moves, so I guess he won't be nice to him because he's done waiting. The Case – Man Shot But Alive – Totally agree. I guess I can put this on the mistake list too, next to the helicopter scene without Kono on it and the car wash during the school bus kidnapping case. Chin-Ho and Malia Got Married – Agree. Would have been nice to see at least 2 min of the party after the wedding. My favorite moments:
- Danny and Lori handcuffed and Steve dropping the key
- Danny putting the grande in that badass's hand and Chin's comment: “You've been hanging with McGarret too long� (he's right, that's Steve's style)
- Kono taking down the running guy – that was so cool - I'm glad it wasn't Lori This episode was not the best, I've seen better. It's a good thing we've seen less Lori and more Kono though. That case they were investigating was more for HPD than for Five-0. I don't like what Joe is doing, he's relationship with Steve will take a turn. Steve won't step back just because Joe promised his father to keep him away from trouble. The big question now is: where is Noshimori and is he dead or alive?

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Sorry I forgot something: Jim my compliments for a great review could agree more with you wanted to give it one star but for some reason I voted 4 stars and i am not able to chance it! SADLY!

Thecurlymuse

I was REALLY hoping that they'd explain the handcuffs better, but no... it was dumb and unnecessary. I didn't care for Fryer very much. Perhaps it was the actor with a side order of cheesey dialogue. The badge line could have worked if delivered a different way as silly as it was. They really just need to make him go away. And really... as far as this Wo Fat/Shellburn thing goes, it's getting to the point where it's mentioned in EVERY FRAKKIN EPISODE that leads you to believe you're going to get a little something from the tease. But no. You get some tiny breadcrumb that leaves you high and dry. I understand they're probably going to do some big reveal or whatever, but seriously, this is getting ridiculous. It kind of makes me think of Castle. We have several "unsolved" storylines in the series, but aside from the great writing/acting of the show is that they don't talk about it ALL THE TIME in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. If you constantly remind the fans of something, we're going to want that thing more and more to the point of if you don't give it to us, we might just stop watching the show out of frustration and irritation. I'm a Terry O'Quinn fan. His character started off awesome, but now it's just getting dumb. Dear Hawaii-Five-0. PLEASE get it together else I'm going to be hella mad... and I don't think I'm alone in this.

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Very! Very! disappointed episode! This episode title was "Gone Forever" was hoping it was meant for bye to Lori, Joe, and Cap,Fryer so it didn't and we still have to still stick with them!UGH! The opening scene was ridiculous Danny and Lori acting like 12 years old that cuffed scene made me vormit! Danny not living at casa McGarrett anymore after what? a month and all we got was one scene in McGarrett house and How in the world can Danny effort the Hilton why didn't he move there in the first place or did I miss something? Are the writers at least this one running out of idea's another grenade scene and a mention you hanging out with McGarrett to long Hmmmm try something else! Missed the bench scene between Danny and Joe and the Goofy dance! we saw it in the promo but not in the episode! I thought I was invited for a wedding what did we get 2 min They hyped this wedding for more then a week and Malia didn't had any lines on her own wedding! This whole Shellburne case is drag out to long Joe know by now Steve will never let it go so wrape it up writers so we can move on. Well two good things this episode for me 1) Kickass Kono is back! which is a plus because Kono is 100x times better then Lori in taking down a suspect!
2) Malia was a beautiful bride loved her dress. Well I am happy that Catherine, Rachel and Gracie are coming back for me a reason to come back also! Wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and a good start for 2012 with Love and hugs!!
Lena.

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Favourite moment of the episode: When kono came outta nowhere and kicked the runaway criminal's butt! How much more convincing was kono was the ass kicker than Lori? so sad thaat max wasnt in much of the episode, and wish there was like a bit of drama at the wedding, because to be honest, who likes a wedding without any drama. Lori's contract should be ending in the next episode, and im praying to hell that its the case. They have just announced that RACHEL, GRACE, STEVE'S SISTER AND WAIT FOR ITTTTTTTTT CATHERINE ROLLINS is all coming back. Cannot wait till they get rid of lori, just saying

Hawaii Five-0 Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes

Danny: Good, let bye-gones be bye-gones, maybe you want to hug it out or fist bump:
Fryer: No, let's just work the case.

Tong: Those are dummy grenades
Danny: Ok, hang on to this. [hands grenade, pulls pin] If it's a dummy you will be fine, we'll be outside.
Tong: Wait! Fine, it's live
Chin Ho: You've been hanging around Steve too long.

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