Hawaii Five-0 Review: Out of The Pan, Into the Fryer

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"Alaheo Pau'ole:" Gone Forever.

Was this entire Hawaii Five-0 episode pieced together from spare parts of better episodes? There were so many disjointed pieces that I nearly got lost along the way. Given the non-sequitur nature of the hour, I’m just going to break down the main points.

A Hawaiian Wedding

Lori and Danny Handcuffed: Does anyone have any idea what point there was to this storyline? Furthermore, why did Steve feel the need to drop they key off the balcony? It all felt totally out of place.

We have not seen any indication that Lori and Danny would be romantically linked. What the heck is the “Jersey Slip” and why do you need to be handcuffed to another person for it to work? Finally, what type of horrible police officer is Danny that his handcuff key is not on a key ring of any sort... and he only has one in his possession? While I know some might fault Lori for not having her keys, she didn't bring her handcuffs, remember. They were Danny's.

Vincent Fryer, Chief of Detectives: I will take back every bad thing I said about Fryer as the head of Internal Affairs if they will just send him back! Watching Tom Sizemore violate the Miranda Rights of suspects with his “tough as nails abusive cop” overacting caused me physical pain. I now know how many of you anti-Lori fans must feel. It took all my will power not to throw something at the TV when he would spew dialog such as I have a badge that says I can do what ever I want. Makes me want to hurl just remembering it.

Then, just in case we need a reason for Fryer to be in the episode, we learn he 's gotten promoted to Chief of Detectives. Huh? what’s the Frak is “Chief of Detectives?” And regardless of what Fryer said, the head of an entire division of police would not be out busting down doors.

Joe White and Steve at Odds: I really don’t care who Shelburn is anymore. I’m so tired of the ring-around-the-rosy conversations that Steve and Joe are having about it. The story barely moves forward. If Steve really wanted to know what Joe was up to, he would have had Kono or Lori pull his cell phone records to see who he has been talking to and the facts would come flooding out. 

Then, you had Joe's last line of the episode: I was hoping you wouldn’t say that. It made one of my eyes twitch. Joe have you met Steve? He left his partner wearing handcuffs during a formalwear fitting; did you really think he was just going to drop the whole thing? 

Man Shot But Alive: I will commend the twist and turns this case took. As a whole, it was a decent concept for an investigation. However, as mentioned above, it would have been a better story without Sizemore’s Fryer tainting the scenery. It would have also been nice to see the wife walk in on the husband fresh from his coma, as having Kono and Steve telling the woman that her son was really dead as the lead in for Chin-Ho’s wedding was odd to say the least. 

Chin-Ho and Malia Got Married: That does lead us to the wedding. Ho'omaika'i (congratulations) to you both! I wish we had gotten more than four minutes of the episode dedicated to Chin-Ho and Malia. We had about 90 seconds of the guys in the fitting room and about two minutes of wedding montage. 

We're going to have to wait until 2012 to find out more about Shelburn and/or what happen to Hiro Yoshimura as Hawaii Five-O takes a break for the holidays.

Mr. Kurtzman, a great holiday gift for the fans would be to come back with an idea of what story you want to tell in an episode and go with it. You might also consider dialing back the ridiculousness as well. My eyes may hurt for months from all the rolling they did this week. 


Editor Rating: 3.1 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.7 / 5.0 (162 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.


Since we're on the subject, another totally unnecessary and crammed-in character whose tone is way out of whack with what the show started as is the coroner. So that's at least three cast additions that were unnecessary.


I don't blame Lauren the actress at all--the character was forced into the show in the first place, and it's poorly written. A profiler? Huh? As I said before, you don't need another female lead when you've got Grace Park who, BTW, is being TOTALLY underused. Sizemore's character was unnecessary from the start and it's still a toss-up whether O'Quinn's character was worth adding, aside from the kick of seeing two Lost cast mates back together again. In Hawaii. With all the fascinating real-life cop/law shows on the bar is raised much higher when it comes to fictional cop shows like 5-0. While some of us are willing to suspend disbelief to a certain point, there have been way too many "C'mon!" moments of late which suggests to me the show needs to stop, step back, and retool. And stop trying so hard to force comedy into the mix--a simple line here or there would suffice, and why not let Grace or Daniel have one of them now and then, instead of them constantly being straight people? Lastly, I would make a list of 50 Cop Show Cliches to be Avoided at All Costs, put it on the wall of the writer's offices, and make sure they stick to it.


... and how may good actors are struggling to get a role ...


I know Lauren has her fans. I just don't know how different people can look at the same thing and see something completely opposite. Especially people who are in the business. I have nothing against her personally, I just see how this character is portrayed. It's not all her, but it is partly her. How do they see the stiffness, and expressionless faces, then call that good acting? If this is the way she is being told to play the character, then why is she not out there telling everyone, or why aren't the directors and producers explaining this is the way we want this character played. If they are going to keep her with all the complaints then should they not be defending her, other then just calling her critics rude or hateful? Give us examples of how she is doing well. I just don't think this is the character for her, and again the writers should be blamed also.


@azziria - There is a @LaurenGerman fan club on twitter. The owner says she/he has 100 followers on two days. So ... :):)


@Martinelli: I'm afraid I found it very forced; they're trying very hard to show us how much a part of the team Lori is, and for me anyway it's not working. Plus the handcuffs scene had no reason to exist at all except to give us 'Lori and Danny being best buddies'; it came out of nowhere and added nothing to the plot or ongoing storylines. Here's hoping that they're trying to make us like her so that we'll be sorry when they write her out...


So I guess I was the only one enjoying Lori & Danno embarrassing themselves with the handcuff.


The handcuff scene forced. Did anyone notice the scene in the hospital when she took her hands off her hips and moved them to her mouth, it looked to me like the director told her to do it and she didn't what to do with her hands. Last but not least, rushing up to Steve with the news it was a scam. Welcome to the party Lori, everyone already knew that. I thought Steve was very Diplomatic by playing along with her like it was news to him. I'm putting ep to rest now and enjoy the rest of my vacation. Happy holidays to everyone, even the Lori fans.......LOL


@Kelly....I think it can go a little dark. I thought the scenes in North Korea were pretty dark, until Lori hugged Steve, then that sort of spoiled it. I don't want it to become "the Shield", way too dark, especially for a non cable show. That was a hard show to watch although the writing was very good. I like some comedy moments, it breaks it up. I don't think the Steve/Danny exchanges is forced, I think the Lori/Danny in the handcuffs thing was forced, but I think that was just to give the Lori character something to do. @Martinelli....Yeah, I don't know if Steve is chasing Joe, or what in those pictures of 2.14. We won't find out until 1-16-12. It would be nice if McG had somebody that would not keep things from him, other then his team. I don't think that they are making Joe a bad guy, just one that got caught up in protecting the remaining McG family. This should be a good episode, I hope that they don't do too many things at once, since Danny is suppose to be delivering Rachael's baby also. When they do that they don't tell enough of the story and it becomes disjointed. @Mike....LOL, yeah she could go down on the SPF coverage until she gets some color, she looks like she should be in Holland not Hawaii.


I've seen some pictures from episode 14 and I have a bad feeling. I have no idea what will Joe do but I don't like it at all. He's not honest with Steve McGarrett. I have a feeling that he's not on Steve's side.

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Hawaii Five-0 Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes

Danny: Good, let bye-gones be bye-gones, maybe you want to hug it out or fist bump:
Fryer: No, let's just work the case.

Tong: Those are dummy grenades
Danny: Ok, hang on to this. [hands grenade, pulls pin] If it's a dummy you will be fine, we'll be outside.
Tong: Wait! Fine, it's live
Chin Ho: You've been hanging around Steve too long.