Two and a Half Men Review: Awful Alan

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As board member of Walden Loves Bridgette Enterprises, Alan remained true to what's been a season-long theme on Two and a Half Men this week: the guy acted like the biggest scum bag ever.

Fighting for Walden

I can handle scum baggery, but the very idea of the man suddenly giving up his loyalty to Walden for a red Porsche and a touch from Walden's mother - that could only be described as "Slowly and in a Circular Fashion" - seemed ridiculous, considering he passed on selling on Walden's very expensive rhodium wedding band.

Now, suddenly, the irritating little douche required a multi-million dollar bribe of his name on the Malibu beach home to remain a loyal friend? Sure, I'll buy it for the purpose of this episode. But it's going to make me look at Alan a little differently the rest of the season.

The episode was also too dependent on Walden and his new array of supporting characters (Bridgette, Zoe, and Robin), all of whom were situated around the board room table.

After the midseason finale, I realized the series was going to closey follow the show's new Rose, Bridgette. And that's fine, I know Judy Greer is more than capable as taking over as the resident crazy lady. However, this week, she appeared much too sane, plotting with Robin to protect Walden's money from his investments. All this talk of fiduciary responsibility was far too... sensible. After driving through the house, I'm going to need a little something more than mother manipulation.

All in favor of never heading back to the Walden Loves Alan Enterprises board room? Aye. And bringing back more old Men supporting cast members? Seconded.


Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 1.8 / 5.0 (223 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


This show is now too painful to watch --- Kutcher bombed whatever else
might have been salvaged from the old Two and a Half - To the writers: if you think you are writing funny lines, you better go back to writing school. Its such a waste of where the great laughs were - with Jake,
Rose, even the old Alan..... their parts seem to have been cut back and
they are trying to make Kutcher look like he can act or be funny.... he
can't..... Charlie was way too perfect for the role --- keeping this up, we all know the show is going to die a slow death..... Wrap it up, Lorre!


geeze there were alot of typos - I meant "Ashton without a shirt".


Why have to decided to make Alan such a scummy person? I mean he was never a moral beckon, but he did have his moments, and they more often than expected, even when he was stealing everyone's money in his own little ponzi scheme he had guilt, but now they are turning him into some mechanical weasel and it's sad. This show still had a lot of potential even with Charlie gone, but it's just painful to watch. You never see Evelyn, or Jake, and barely Berta, and now they are replacing Rose with a new crazy????? I've said it before and I'll say it again, they should just rename the show either "Waldon's World" or "Ashton with a Shirt" because in the end, that's what this show is becoming.


When you view the early reruns of this show you see a mildly attractive Alan with a decent wardrobe and haircut. Yes he was whipped and confused, but he wasn't the pond scum that the writers have created now. Walden (as did Charlie) allow Alan to live in his home rent-free, eat his food, shelter his son and Alan still has to be bribed to do the man a favor. I hope they finally end this series with Walden or someone else finding the guts to throw Alan out on his ear.


I watched about 5 minutes then told my husband "I refuse to watch anymore" and went to the bedroom to watch reruns of "Murder she Wrote" I can't take it anymore. I loved the old Two and Half Men but see nothing in the show to watch now.


This was one of the best shows since all the change. You people that write this need to realize this is not the same old two and a half men and if you can't wrap yourself around it go write some where else. Of course it's different. It's suppose to be. good job everyone that has any involvement in this show!!!!!!!!!


I can not believe enough people watch this garbage that it still shows up on here. It has never been funny and never will be. Join me in watching the news when this is on people.


This show is going down the can. The blatantly obvious comedy (sure, I'll be you're lawyer, I'm screwing you already) and downright filthiness of the jokes (Alan implying he gave himself a BJ with toothpaste) is killing this once great show. I hope they have the courage to take this thing out back and put it out of it's misery. Somewhere Charlie Sheen is loving this.....


It's all well and good to leverage the original cast more but making Alan that much more of a pathetic leech was awkward to watch and very unfunny for some reason. Someone already said it that a whole season (maybe more) will be needed to get the parts of this mess put together into a consistently tolerable comedy. Right now, we are very much in the experimental kitchen. Last night's concoction tasted off. Try again.


From the TV Guide interview with Chuck Lorre:
"We were all like little kids here back in June, writing the show, trying to create a brand new series starring Ashton Kutcher," Lorre says. "It was fun." So, that seems to be it. It's not "Cheers" with new bar tender Woody replacing Coach, or a new female lead, Shelley Long's leaving and being replaced by Kirstie Alley. It's a NEW series-like a spin-off. As for any new series, a whole season may be needed to get things in comedic order.

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 12 Quotes

Walden: You've mistaken tooth paste for lubricant?
Alan: Just once and it stung like hell, but my penis was minty fresh.
Walden: How did you know it was minty fresh?
Alan: Years of yoga and loneliness.

Alan: Can i tell women it's mine?
Walden: Why would you stop now?