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Survivor

Survivor Review: Colton Crosses the Line

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What. Just. Happened.

As I’m sure most of you are, I too am struggling to process what I saw on this week’s episode of Survivor. The first thirty minutes were normal, at least by Survivor standards. The craziness started with Alicia taking Kat’s comment personally for no reason whatsoever and devolved in to what will be remembered as either the craziest or worst tribal council in Survivor history.

We’ll come back to Alicia because if we start with her, we’re burying the lead. The problem is, where do you even begin with what happened with the Manono (the men’s tribe for those of you not paying attention) tribe after the immunity challenge?

Leif Takes Aim

Logic would say to go in chronological order, but logic was thrown completely out the window this week, so no sense in doing that, either.  For me the biggest part of the episode was the tribal council itself, even more than the men volunteering to go there when they didn’t have to.  Don’t worry though, we’ll cover that to.

Two weeks ago the entire premise of my review was thanking Kat for being awful at the challenge so we were not subjected to an entire episode of Colton’s whining.  This week Colton got us back.  His out of control and boorish behavior began when we should have been watching the women come to terms with voting Alicia out.

Instead we had to watch a petulant, immature, insecure a-hole hijack Survivor.  For no reason other than simply being immature, Colton refused to listen to Bill when he wanted to talk.  You know who does stuff like that?  My four year old nephew.

Louis CK has a great skit where he talks about what it would be like if adults acted the way toddlers do.  Louis, you can check out this week’s episode of Survivor if you want to see it actually happen.  The only problem here is that the rest of the tribe is somehow too afraid of Colton to stand up to him.

On some level Colton does not HAVE to listen to Bill.  It’s immature, but those are some of the choices we get as adults (and we’re using the terms loosely with Colton).  What he can’t do is be a complete jerk to Bill about it.  Yet, in the context of the game of Survivor, I can forgive the remaining men for letting it slide.  I cannot forgive them if they let tribal council slide.

Colton took his already tired act to a new level at tribal council in a verbal spat with Bill where he lost every point.  Jeff asked him to make his case why he didn’t like Bill and Colton had virtually nothing with substance to back it up with.  Bill, meanwhile, took the high road, said he did not dislike Colton and simply asked him not to judge him.

When Colton suggested his dislike was not racially motivated he embarrassingly substantiated that claim by saying he went to a private, all-white high school and interacts with African-Americans.  Those African-Americans he interacts with?  His parent’s housekeeper.  The women who’s paid to be there and clean up after him.

The coup de grace for me, however, was when Colton attacked Bill’s profession saying it wasn’t a real job and he needed a backup plan.  This nearly brought Bill to tears as he explained that he’s been on his own since he was 17, poor and is chasing his dream.  He doesn’t want a backup plan.

Colton’s lack of perspective is astounding.  As Bill points out, he’s never worked an honest day in his life.  He’s obviously a spoiled college student.  For him to call anyone’s job a joke and challenge their line of employment is laughable.  What would Colton even know about a backup plan?  His is mom and dad.

Just when things were Jeff-Probst-eye-poppingly absurd, Tarzan opened his big, clueless mouth to give us his two cents on what is going on.  Shockingly, Tarzan suggested that Colton was being misrepresented because he was white and people were assuming he disliked Bill because he was black. 

Um, Tarzan (or Greg for normal people), even if that is true (and no one believes it) he’s STILL being a giant asshole.  Anyone with half a brain can see that!

Now we come to what scares me about this episode and this season of Survivor so far: I don’t think Colton will face any retribution for this.  We’re only four episodes in to Survivor and people are already scared to challenge the status quo or whatever ridiculous episode one alliance they put together.

He absolutely should, however.  The start of next episode should be Jonas, Troyzan, Leif, Michael and Jay retuning from tribal council with the oh-my-god-what-the-hell-just-happened-faces on.  Quickly they all should realize they cannot let someone like Colton stay in the game because he obviously does not deserve it. 

Sadly, of course, it’ll take a blindside because Colton has an idol.  They’ll have to figure out how to get rid of him without him knowing it is coming.  Needless to say, I do not have faith we’ll get so lucky.

The same scenario likely would have existed on the women’s side if the men had not done the unthinkable.  Alicia OBVIOUSLY should go home because she’s useless in challenges, completely paranoid and a mouthy bitch.  Her display this week should warrant immediate removal.

But, from the moment Sabrina suggested the obvious Kim quickly hemmed and hawed and suggested Christina go home.  Every time Sabrina suggested a reason why Alicia should go home and Christina should stay, Kim had no answer, but still did not seem willing to budge.  Why?

Fear of going against the grain.  It’s why Kat stayed on this week and why Alicia would have stayed in the game this week.  It’s why even though the men did not have a majority on giving up immunity; they eventually caved because they did not want to be seen as the one challenging the authority.

As for the men giving up immunity under the guise of trying to remove any ‘cancers’ that would fester while they wait for the next tribal council, that’s utterly absurd.  So often we hear this talk from women with men scoffing, wondering why women can’t deal with such adversity. 

It was all garbage made up by Colton because he’s too emotional to see the forest for the trees.  Oh, boo hoo.  You have someone on your tribe you don’t like.  Cry me a freaking river.  Why would you willingly make the game harder for yourself by going to tribal council intentionally?

One thing that became clear to me with Bill’s ouster was that Troyzan, Tarzan, Leif and Jonas were all in on the ploy to get the other guys to go along with giving up immunity just to vote Bill out.  Tarzan oversold his treachery angle with Leif and Leif even oversold his guilt at tribal council.  Leif not defending himself doesn’t make sense until you realize he’s in on the ruse. 

For the first time in 24 seasons I actually find myself annoyed with the show.

I’ve never been one to let a character or two bring down my enjoyment of the game, but I fear what is development.  Characters you can root for like Chelsea and Jay unwilling to stand up to jerks like Colton and Alicia who are boorish because that’s who they are, not to try and win the game (like, say, Russell).  Sad.

Review

Editor Rating: 1.1 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.8 / 5.0 (209 Votes)
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Colton makes Russell, Johnny Fairplay and other villans look like saints. His bigotry and prejudice is astounding, and I view it from the foundation of going through civil rights day of the 60's. It's absolutely incredible that Jeff and crew didn't pickup on this characteristic during the auditions. Even considering that quirkiness is exaggerated and amplified for the sake of ratings, that man is overtly despicable. I was literally physically sick watching the March 7th episode. The worse of everything is that not one single other "thing" in that tribe stood up against the bigotry or or in defense of Bill. Even Tar-whatever's statement was inordinately weak. I will record the next episode, but can't envision watching it unless the street talk is about Colton's ejection or rejection or exiled royally.

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PART 3: If this is no longer going to be a family friendly show, someone please tell me now!!!! And then I can explain to my son that he can't watch his favorite show any more because the CBS people are just as moronic as Colton, whom he already very much dislikes. *darn the only 1000 character rule*

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PART 2: My son does not need to hear a little person referred to as a Dwarf or an Oompa Loompa or that they need to be kicked right back to Oz!! My son does not need to hear all that racist crap that was spewed tonight!! Yes I blame Colton for being a rich spoiled moron, but mostly I blame the editors for the way they edited the final show and aired it like it was no big deal!!

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PART 2: My son does not need to hear a little person referred to as a Dwarf or an Oompa Loompa or that they need to be kicked right back to Oz!! My son does not need to hear all that racist crap that was spewed tonight!! Yes I blame Colton for being a rich spoiled moron, but mostly I blame the editors for the way they edited the final show and aired it like it was no big deal!! If this is no longer going to be a family friendly show, someone please tell me now!!!! And then I can explain to my son that he can't watch his favorite show any more because the CBS people are just as moronic as Colton, whom he already very much dislikes.

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What is confusing me is not the cast or how they are acting or how the others are allowing the mens drama queen to run the show. What is not only confusing but irritating is that I have been watching this show for longer than I can remember with my kids. My older kids can handle it! But I was never so thankful that my 8 yr old fell asleep during a commercial (which I intentionally let play so he would)!! My kids have watched this show with me since they were little. Occasionally something inappropriate comes up and I just talk through it or fast forward. Tonight was not excusable in my opinion!!! My son does not need to see what Colton is as the normal "GAY" person. Truth of the matter is, he is not like that because he is gay, but that is how they refer to him on the show "the gay guy"!!

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All I can say is I'm pretty much ready to quit watching survivor. I've never felt like this before. I am still shocked. Partly that a human being like Colton exists, but mostly that the other guys let him get away with that! I even thought Jeff let him get away with too much. If he's still in the game in a couple of episodes, I'm out.

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What shocked me the most is that all the other men on his tribe never said a word about it, that no one stood up to Colton. Not a single one. I do want to believe they only did it because they where as shocked as I was and just couldn't believe he was being for real. I have found myself speechless in situations (way less horrible than this one) and I know that is not an excuse but yet possible.
Does Jeff Probst have to be impartial? Can't he say: Colton, you crossed a line? To me it seemed Jeff never liked Johnny Fairplay and it was obvious when they interacted. I do want to believe that Jeff is not okay with what just happened there and I do want to believe that the other guys will at least NOW (meaning after tribal when they are back at camp) think and take action as in voting Colton off next week. How hard is it after watching 24 seasons to flash out an idol? They only have to split the votes. I can't believe how much this is bothering me ...

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Colton: A FAT REPUBLICAN FAG FROM ALABAMA. Is anyone really suprised????

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So, Revoltin' Colton paints on his gayface. In this guise, he can freely dismiss poor people, little people, and basically, black people too. BUT he is in gayface character -- your average flaming dismissive queen of a gay that gyrates the neck, rolls the eyeballs, primps the nails, and swoops the hair. NO ONE DOES THAT! BUT, in costume, gayface can do anything~ Like denigrate little guys without remorse. Or substantiate black existence to scrub his tub. WHY else did god provide them to his family? They should be happy to earn a wage being slaves...

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Twitter leaves no room for thought at all. There is no way to convey to a minstrel gayface like Revoltin' Colton the implications of his actions at all. At best a little slap here and there, which leaves complete room for his outright dismissal. Twitter sucks. There is no room for discussion, let alone complete thoughts. I cannot even manage with 1000 characters and 2x postings w/o being cut-off here. *sigh* Do people get the minstrel reference and why it is so damaging? It really is serious stuff.