Gossip Girl Review: Despicably High-Brow

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"Maybe you've been so busy worried about what everyone thinks that you forgot who you actually are. Which is a shame, because you should see what I see." - Dan

It's all about appearances, right? This week's Gossip Girl was all about the upper crust of the UES behaving badly - despicably if you will - in the name of getting what they want, for the sake of their respective reputations.

Meanwhile, the Humphrey men struggled to make sense of it all.

In a sense, "Despicable B" was like old times on Gossip Girl, with various stories of social scheming, though certain characters have arguably lost their way to the point where their actions cease to be believable.

Blair clearly has lost her way, somewhere between being traded for a hotel and selling out for a tiara. At least she admits as much, and has perhaps realizes at last that she can start being happy without preconditions.

Dair detractors may lament the couple's banality or lack of intense physical chemistry, but their connection runs deeper than the superficial. Going back to their days at W, Dan has loved Blair Waldorf for ... Blair Waldorf.

A Dair Picture

Dan always does his part. Whether or not you're a card-carrying member of Team Dair, you have to respect the genuine compassion, communication and respect between them. They are an equal partnership.

Fun as it was to see her so incredulous over Dan outshining her on the N.Y. Magazine Approval Matrix (a real, hilarious thing, even if Kim Kardashian's marriage lasting longer than B's isn't actually on it), our girl needs to regain her mojo. Strategizing to out-high-brow Dan at his own high-brow affair? Totally low-brow and beneath vintage B.

Dair's storyline had some wonderful moments - their heart-to-heart at the end, her botched attempt to generate interest from FIT, Dorota insisting B is still royalty to me! (FTW!) - but let's hope it marks a turning point.

She's got to know herself again, for real, and it'll be very interesting to see if Daniel Humphrey is by her side when she does. Who is the real B? Do any of us even know anymore? Just pray she tries to find her.

NOTE: It looks like B adopts an entirely different persona next week (see promo below).

Speaking of people unrecognizable from Season One ... when did Lily get so evil? Yes, she's always been materialistic, selfish and one to put on airs to a degree, but this level of vindictiveness is unprecedented.

If the whole plan all along was to nail Carol for fraud, well, kudos on the execution and all, but she'd already secured 50 percent of the estate, so what was the point? And why invite a reporter? To enhance her "image"? This is a woman who's been IN JAIL and married FIVE times. Pretty sure the reputation ship sailed long ago.

Notice she didn't deny paying off the nurse to sell out Ivy, either. That's just cold, Lil. Fortunately, Ivy proved her own goodness and/or naivete by tearing up the check at the end. Poor girl just wants a FAMILY! Not money!

Idiot. Did you see the zeroes on that thing?!

Rufus has clearly had it being lied to, and it's hard to blame the guy. He was always the trophy husband, but at least she was nice and they enjoyed each other's company. Now? Who knows who he's married to.

The problem with Lily's storyline was that unlike Blair's, it's just too complicated. Who can even keep track of all the lies and the reasons behind them, and at this point, are we emotionally invested in any of them?

Serena, Lily Pic

You know it's bad when William seems like a genuinely good guy just trying to do right by the four crazy women in his life. You almost feel bad for the guy. Maybe he'll figure out a way to leave all the money to Lola now.

Stranger things have happened ... on Gossip Girl.

Serena? She's just aimless at this point, a girl without a family, a real job, a boyfriend or much of a social life. It's sad, really, and makes you fear how low she'll go for attention in the next three weeks.

Perhaps the most significant (and most dubious) developments of the night came in the closing montage. First, Serena left the Gossip Girl server login info hanging out of her notebook! And Lola ganked it!

Week after week, characters one-up each other for biggest secret left out in the open. The people on this show need serious lessons in hiding sensitive information, because they make things too easy on lazy writers.

It's called a safe. Or a real doorman. Or a password on your iPhone. Or your pocket.

Okay, rant over. What do you think Lola will do with that info is the real debate. Give it back to the real G.G.? Become G.G. 4.0? Sell it back to Serena for her cut of the trust fund? Infinite, absurd possibilities.

Finally, Chuck Bass has been through about as many paternity twists as Gossip Girl has identity crises. Thanks to the busiest P.I. in the city and some (sexy!) mind games from Nate, we know Diana's a fraud.

You gotta love Nate going to bat for his friend and his company, while treating female fans to some gratuitous shirtless action to boot. Well played, Mr. Archibald ... and those who guessed Jack is Chuck's dad.

In real life, Desmond Harrington is 35 and Ed Westwick 24, BTW. A bit of a stretch. But if Chuck graduated high school just three years ago and Jack is around 40 ... we'll buy. Again, this is Gossip Girl people.

It STILL doesn't explain what Diana's angle is, though, and it starts to lose some of its punch when a huge bombshell is simply negated the following week. On a routine basis. Oh, yeah. That was a lie. Great.

Think he's actually Chuck's dad? And Elizabeth the mother after all? If so, why all the subterfuge? What's really going on here, and will the ultimate resolution to this ongoing saga finally be worth it?

We have our doubts, but here's hoping. Before we turn it over to your comments, here's next week's promo:

What did you think of tonight's Gossip Girl? Sound off now!

Review

Editor Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
  • 3.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (789 Votes)

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Continues...
the dark side. After that Chuck says that she was actually the brightest thing that ever happened to him.
On Blair's wedding day, she says to Chuck that she is in love with him "more and more everyday, if it's even possible to love someone that much", but she still wants to marry Louis. After the video leaked, Blair is still decided to marry Louis because of the pact with God. Here again, another punch in the stomach for Chuck and a huge "wth?!?".
After she runs away, Chuck finds her and says that he is willing to do anything in his power to set her free from this marriage, but she refuses because they wouldn't be equals, if he paid the dowry. Another punch for Chuck.
A few episodes later, Blair realizes she has "feelings" for Dan and, even though she still loves Chuck, at the moment she isn't in love with him. Two punches in the stomach and a super huge "wth?!?".

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Oh, and I just want to make you realise that Chuck has suffered and paid for everything he did this season and that Blair is being inconsistent. And I have plenty of arguments. Chuck is so devastated by Blair's marriage that he can't feel anything anymore.
Chuck finds out that Blair is pregnant, but she tells him that despite her wanting it to be his, the baby was Louis'. Punch in the stomach.
Chuck apologizes for everything he did to her (even the whole hotel thing).
Blair, after seeing htat Chuck is being good to her this whole time, goes to him and says: "you've been really good this whole time, haven't you?" (so, she is inconsistent when in 5x19 she isn't used to seeing Chuck good, since she realized it herself in 5x08).
Blair goes with Chuck to the therapist, who actually makes her realize even more that Chuck has changed for good.
Blair realizes that, despite initially thinking that it was Chuck that brought her to the dark side, it was actually her that brought him to the dark side. (so why does she say now that it's Chuck's fault?!? Super inconsistent)
Chuck, in the same episode, after saying that Blair was the lightest thing that happened in his life, has to suffer when the old woman says: "oh, and even the groom is here" (or something like that). Well, it has been quite a punch in the stomach when he said he actually wasn't the groom.
Chuck was selfless by not asking Blair to leave Louis, since he was the father of her baby, even though he wanted it to happen so badly. Later in that episode, Chuck was ready to raise Blair's baby as it was is own and Blair was ready to run away with him, because she still loved him so much.
After the accident, Blair goes to Chuck and says that she can't be with him, but despite that, she was still in love with him. Another punch in the stomach for Chuck and a big "wth?!?".

Niks4u

Dair were amazing last night. Wish that the writers would give them a bit more screen time though. A lot of naysayers are accepting them now and some more focus on their relationship might just convince some fence sitters.
Great review by the way.

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anybody know the titles of the songs in s5 e21 ?

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It's called a safe. Or a real doorman. Or a password on your iPhone. Or your pocket. Way to go! Fantastic line.

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Dan is gonna leave blair- And at his way he can take his stupid father with him. OMG, I don´t what it is, but a depressed Rufus is so annoying! When others around him gets sad he always have something good to say, but when things falls down for him he always, ALWAYS act stupid. So for dan and rufus, they can start planning their visit to Jenny. I love the new, bitchy and naughty Lily. She´s grown some balls this season! Dayuum!
All of her scenes was the best part of this episode. And Jack Bass is not chuck´s father. His just not. That would be a disaster, not for us, but the writers. Like, come on, get real!

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This isn't even about ship wars anymore it's about bad writing. I think it's ridiculous how dair fans can justify there relationship and say there growing up.. And serena is a bitch.. Last time I checked growing up didn't mean having no friends, they didn't invite anyone to there party all they have is each other.. And serena is a bitch? At you kidding me..
If someone who has loved you till mid season 4 so 4 and a half years, and someone whose been your best friend size you were a little girl and who you love.. Tells you to tell
A boy you love them
And then kisses them, isn't there for you when your grandma dies, when your family going through hell and you've just been heart broken by boy you love for almost 5 years.. There is no justifying that! I'm not even say be with in my eyes I like him single and him and Nate bromance! But at least she got scenes with her friends Nate serena and wanted a career.. Now she's just horrible I don't think they can redeem her..

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Just read this essay, which actually sums up my point of view. http://www.facebook.com/permal... Anyway, for now, I won't talk about the episode, since I've not seen it yet. The only thing that I would like to say is that some Dair fans should take off their glasses, because I don't think we have watched the same show for these 5 years... this whole storyline is just a delusion and a bad copy of the other ones. (Chuck helped Blair find herself already 2 and a half years ago and he is still doing that, so Dan isn't this White Knight you imagine.)

Sabbass

I think Blair admitting she was lost was mostly the writers admitting they lost Blair, and I'm hoping there gunna start to find her.
amen

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This episode was... i don't know i really felt sorry for serena when she talked to her dad. I really like lilly yes she was a bitch and i liked it.
Blair was pathetic i really am embarresed for her.Her lapdog forgave her as always.And i loved nate and chuck but jack as his father? NO!!!!