True Blood Review: Ready to Die

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Sookie was still feeling the effects of one too many Orange Marzipans when True Blood kicked off this week, but "Hopeless" had me drunk with delight in the end, as it featured a number of scenes to which I'd like to raise a glass.

While the smoke monster chased Terry and Patrick like they were members of Danielle Rousseau's science expedition on Lost, some of you may have found yourself wanting to put a curse on Alan Ball for this continued storyline. 

I, however, liked the heartfelt scene where Terry told Arlene why he had to leave her and the kids behind. They both have been through so much and thought they finally had found some peace when they discovered their feelings for each another, but once again they were each set adrift in their quests for a normal life. 

Salome on True Blood

Two people who have never known a normal life, Sam and Luna, were thankfully still alive and on the mend at the outset here. I liked Sam's speech to Andy about not knowing what it's like to have someone want to kill you just because of what you are. The racial undertones of this show aren't always subtle, but they are always very poignant.

Andy was smart to let Sam tag along on his investigation. The two of them were like some supernatural version of Turner and Hooch, with Sam immediately proving his worth as he saved Andy's life. 

Sticking with the four-legged members of the show, how great was it to see Alcide finally assert himself and announce his claim as pack master to J.D.? I knew we hadn't seen the last of Rikki and was glad to see her step up as Alcide's second. Although, if they hook up at some point, I hope she has a king size bed for Alcide's sake. How funny did he look when he sat up in Sookie's bed, barely covered by her pink comforter? 

Moving on to a man who never looks awkward in pink, Lafayette got his daily dose of crazy when he visited Ruby Jean to ask her about Jesus. She is always good for a laugh with her backhanded compliments and semi-acceptance of her son's sexuality. We didn't learn a whole lot about this storyline that we already hadn't guessed ourselves, but it looks like La-La is going to have to let his stank face out for real if he is going to help out his lost lover.  

Jason continued to have dreams about his dead parents this week. After he vowed to bring their killer to justice, his father tried to tell him about the only thing to fear. Now either Mr. Stackhouse was a big F.D.R. fan or he was trying to give Jason some vital knowledge in regard to the person who did them in. What an interesting twist it was, revealing the reason he and Sookie's parents were ambushed was due to a tiny drop of her blood. 

Russell we know is a fan of Sookie's scent. Was he the one on that bridge that night? Either way, it was good to see him back on his feet finally, entertaining as always. While I fear we have seen the last of Roman and his Nike Golf collection, Russell will most assuredly fill the large spotlight that has deservedly shone on Christopher Meloni's character thus far this season.

If Russell's additions to our favorite True Blood quotes tonight were any indication of things to come, we all are in for a real treat. Who else could mention the Kardashians whilst being lead away by an armed vampire guard?

After tonight, is it safe to say Salome is the other traitor working inside the Authority and is it Lilith herself who she is helping? Salome wasn't too subtle about wanting to see Russell. Time and time again she tried to excuse herself to go continue her interrogation. Roman was uncorking the good stuff and she couldn't get out of there fast enough. As for Lilith's involvement, that seemed to be what Nora was alluding to, didn't it? 

I can't forget to mention Pam breaking up Jessica and Tara's fight and the way in which she dismissed Tara's actions as only Pam can... or the one Obama mask wearer going "Yes we can" after shooting the vampire who was feeding on Hoyt. 

With so much to discuss I could continue on with my ramblings, but I'd rather hear what you all have to say. So while I'm sure I failed to touch on some parts of the episode, I eagerly await your comments to discuss the ones I did mention and anything else you found to be noteworthy. Thanks to Matt Richenthal for letting me sub in for him this week. I hope you all enjoyed my two cents. 

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Editor Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (111 Votes)
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I have been a fan of this series from the very beginning. Season Five however continues to get dumber and dumber and raunchier and raunchier. The writing actually starting getting weaker and weaker last season and this season is even worse. It is dying a very slowing and painful death and i am sorry to say, i will no longer watch this once good show. End it once and for all since you no longer have the talent to write good scripts. Whatever happened to the good writing? Enough, i am done with it. Bye True Blood.


ps. Great review Chris!


This episode was Awesome!! Every line was on the mark, and the finally took some time to get a bit more in depth with the various characters. I love that strong raspy voice of Grandma werewolf.... she is such a strong character, I hope she stays for awhile. As random as the Terry Bellefleur storyline is, if it elicits future quotes such as the following, I will forgive it!
: Terry Bellefleur: "And now, I'm being hunted by an evil smoke monster that wants to kill me and everyone I love. That's what set our house on fire, not that ghost baby like we all thought."
Bless True Blood, and the never ending bizarreness of the storylines!!!


Complete crap. The writers have no freakin' idea what they're doing. First, they couldn't remember out how to plot out a season, then they couldn't remember how to plot out an episode, and now they can't for the life of them write a decent scene. Makes me sad.


It's also interesting that no one has picked up over the last two episodes that Lafayette's mother also is a medium, and isn't as crazy as everyone believes.


Roman is dead. It's been confirmed by multiple sources directly involved with the show, including Ball, Meloni, O'Hare and others. It's possible the character could appear in flashback scenes, but Meloni stated a couple of days ago that he signed for a six episode run.

Jose t

@Tiffany..... its true thay maybe Russel is the oldest vampire of the bunch but at the same time you have at least 3 authority members there with salome being 2000 years old, barb from cougar town, doctore from spartacus, add to that the 1000 year old eric and bill ..... i think between those 5 AND roman they could have overpowered a not a 100% russell.......


Chris O'Hara, I hope you cover more reviews b/c it's nice to not have such a cynical "I hate EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW" review. Yes, some stuff is boring, but because you don't complain about everything, it makes the ones you do point out have more validity. Did anyone else catch the moment of sexual tension between Pam and Tara before Pam dismissed her as a pet? Loved Alcide's recoil of Sookie and then realizing that Eric had messed with him.


Couple of things I picked up on regarding how Roman was overpowered. Bill told Salome to be careful - she said he had silver intravenously. She was the one who went back to "give him another does of it" - allegedly - in other words, she didn't. I knew she was not going to and he'd be full power by the time he came back. He is 1000 years older than even she, or Roman. If I saw the incredible Hulk snapping Barbie in front of me, even being a general good Samaritan in life, would I step in? Uhh, no. That's a negative. Eric is 1000 years and older than most of the people that were in that room. So none of them stood a chance unless they let him have his way. And no, Roman is not alive - he blew up. But, between flashbacks, etc. hopefully we see more of him. I LOVE me some Meloni. Chris O'Hara, I hope you cover more reviews b/c it's nice to not have such a cynical "I hate EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW" review. Yes, some stuff is boring, but because you don't complain about everything, it makes the ones you do point out have more validity. Did anyone else catch the moment of sexual tension between Pam and Tara before Pam dismissed her as a pet? Loved Alcide's recoil of Sookie and then realizing that Eric had messed with him.


@Jose...the other vamps stood by because they are all younger than ROMAN who got overpowered by Russell due to Russell being OLDER than all of them! Remember Russell is 3000 y.o. and he is obviously older than Roman as evidenced by the comment of him being the same way in the Renaissance. All vamp's love to survive and deep down only truly care about their survival.

True Blood Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes

Guess that whole friendship things on hold.


You're just what the doctor ordered.


True Blood Season 5 Episode 6 Music

  Song Artist
Song Broken Bodies Acumen
Doozy partners in crime Partners in Crime Doozy iTunes
Song Say Goodnight Five Z