True Blood Review: Suck Me Beautiful

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This week on True Blood, Russell recalled meeting Jesus Christ and described him as a hippie that reeked of patchouli.

Well, at least he knew how to put on some clothes.

While "Sunset" revealed with some hints as to what we can expect in the finale, I found myself growing tired of Lilith's lack of modesty and any semblance of fashion sense. Maybe it's the whole afterbirth look, or the grizzled snatch patch she continues to sport. Forget about drinking her, she needs to ask Bill to "clean me, clean all of me."

Sookie and Jason Stackhouse

If Lilith appearing before multiple Authority members had some confused, Pam did well to clear up a good part of what has been going on. I thought the concept of a vampire nest seemed to make a lot of sense given the behavior we have seen Bill and the others displaying. I also found myself wondering if Godric just might be the one behind the various Lilith visions in hopes of saving his progenies by turning the other lost sheep against one another.

While Bill has obviously lost it, I did like his increasingly smug behavior this week. He loves to drop the "I have other matters I must attend to" line, doesn't he? It's like he's politely saying piss off. Must be nice to wield all that power.

Elsewhere, The Authority certainly doesn't seem to be feeling the recession, huh? What with Bill ordering Jessica to take the helicopter to Jason and Salome telling Eric and Nora to jump on the AVL jet. 

Loved seeing those two make up, make out and then some. Nora begged Eric to forgive her and I'm pretty sure as he zoomed off screen to put the thunder hips to her she was feeling pretty absolved. Eric came and went and of course just missed Pam arriving as Rosalyn's prisoner. Sam and Pam crossing paths in the hallway was perhaps my favorite moment of the episode. I have enjoyed the various story lines this season, but seeing all these characters bumping into each other countered those who have felt like the show has gone in too many directions.

With so much still unresolved, I felt like the lack of closure was a distraction, but I was still able to enjoy amazing scenes, such as all of Eric's amazing additions to the best True Blood quotes of the season, the Elder's game of "for or against" and Pam back in top form sassing Jessica at Fangtasia.

So if some of you found yourselves frustrated at times like I did, just focus on those moments, and if that is not enough you can always go back and watch a shirtless Alcide digging in the dirt. I was glad to see him and his dad put aside their issues to whoop up on those baby vampires. 

So... with just the finale left to sink our teeth into, I have come to a few conclusions.

  • I think Warlow is Bill. My feeling was bolstered by Sookie referencing how the air monster she saw told her "you are mine," just like Bill used to tell anyone who so much as looked in Sookie's direction.
  • I don't think Andy will be doing the "You are not the father" dance from the Maury Povich show anytime soon, but I do think he and Holly will end up together.
  • Tara will come to Pam's rescue with the help of Jessica and Jason and, while the latter won't get Russell. I do think he will take out his man-fan Steve.
  • Eric and Nora enlist the government's help and we will get to see some of those new toys the general boasted, in action. 

With so much still unanswered I felt like I had to stick my neck out here and make some guesses as to how this season will wrap up. Please weigh in with your thoughts and predictions as well. 

One last thought, though. Did anyone else find it hilarious that Arlene actually was worried about Terry getting her in trouble for kissing her while at work? At Merlotte's? Really? I think you're safe, Mrs. Bellefleur. 


Editor Rating: 3.8 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (87 Votes)

honestly not a huge fan of this season everyone is going crazy about Lilith pretty soon all vamp characters are going to kill each other either because they want Lilith's blood or because they won't follow the ways of Lilith and as for Russell i hope that sookie and the other fairy kill him and then i think they should go back to mainstreaming


Yeah, didn't care for the elder fae either, despite the pre-show explanation/warning. Sure, she existed in multiple timelines - though for the most part it was in the 60's. The only thing missing was pot smoke, and scarves and people flashing the peace sign and saying "groooovy.". Ugh. Total distraction. The rest (except for the knocked up fae scene) was pretty cool. I never ever get tired of Pam's deep throated scathing putdowns either. Tara's in love with her? She'll have to get in line behind me.


1. My favorite moment in the episode was when Eric and Nora stepped out of the SUV and smiled at each other. I couldn't help smiling, too. Glad to have all that nonsense over with. Mostly. 2. The fae continue to look like idiots. Or flakes. Or flaky idiots. How did they manage to survive even this long? (Did they choose Erica Gimpel to play the elder fae because she so completely lacks gravitas?) 3. All things considered, this season is still a notch above last season. Maybe they'll really get things in gear next year?


Whatever happens, please find reasons for Alcide to keep his clothes off. He may not do it for you, but he sure does it for me!


Bill is not Warlow. The contract with Warlow is over 700 years old, written in a Fae language so old the Fae did not even recgonize it. I don't expect the whole story of Warlow to be told until next season.


From trailer six, it looks like many characters including Tara, Pam, Eric, Jessica and Jason will be in the headquarters together. I hope Eric and Tara will learn from Jason that Sookie is in danger. I am being optimistic here, but I have a feeling they (Eric and Tara ) will both try to save her.


@fudgefase, yeah i am guessing Andy will receive the baby at his doorstep especially that Maurella would be joining the others fairies to fight Russel ( and other vampires to come, I guess - i am assuming others will team up with him ). The baby would be delivered, for Maurella wouldn't want to risk its life. Otherwise, Tara and Pam's relationship is obviously taking another level, one that would be fulfilled and manifested in the finale after what I think will be Tara's successful attempt to save her maker. I never really liked all. Starting with Season 01, I didn't care about him. He could have died for that matter, multiple times, and I still won't care if Salome kills him when drugged with the blood of Lilith against him. I guess the writers wouldn't let that happen, but I really hope at least main character dies, from both the good and the bad sides. I hope it will be Bill and Russel, but I am betting more on the latter. From the trailer, it looks like almost everybody would find each other in the Authority headquarters. Hopefully then, Tara and Eric will learn that Sookie is in danger..i am being optimistic here, but I have a feeling they will be saving her.


Lillith looks like a giant used tampon.


This season has felt very rushed. Far too much has been squeezed in. I have to say I hoped the elder fae had poisoned herself or something I'm order to kill off Russell and I loved him so much from the last season that it Hurts me to say how badly he's been written this time round. Loved the touching moments between Jason and Sookie. l thought Jason was supposed to be a werepanther or something.? Anyway this series has been a bit of a car crash though I'm hoping for great things for Andy and his fairy baby. I'm betting it's left on his doorstep. Round about 58 minutes in to next weeks show!


I'm not missing this character at all but what happened to Nigel the baby eater??? He just


True Blood Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes

Bill: Roman is no longer with us.
General: How?
Eric: He couldn't get with the program so he had to go.

Jason: You gonna be ok?
Sookie: Kind of strange to find out you were sold to a vampire 300 years ago.

True Blood Season 5 Episode 11 Music

  Song Artist
Song Introitus Requiem Crucial Music Corporation
Song Cars, Bars, and Guitars The Go Getters
Gayle lynn rodeo queen Rodeo Queen Gayle Lynn iTunes