90210 Review: That's What Families Do

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Too many cliffhangers!!

On the latest episode of 90210, Annie and Naomi dealt with the latest drama that Annie's novel has caused. Annie's ex-client Patrick made an appearance on 90210's New York episode and vowed to get revenge on the people Annie loves the most.

In "You Can't Win 'Em All," it turned out that moron Patrick actually did his homework and knew what he was doing when he planted cocaine in Mark's bag. Surprise surprise, Mark has a past record!

Relationship Issues

Seriously, would you except anything less on this show? As Naomi so helpfully pointed out, she has a rap sheet a mile long and Annie was a hooker at one point. Very few saints exist in America's most famous zip code. 

As it turns out, Mark's been arrested before on charges of narcotics trafficking. As he tells it, he was never involved but he didn't stop it either. Since the statements testifying to his innocence were sealed, there was nothing he could do about it. Jordan to the rescue! Does anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that Jordan could access those files for reasons other than just his mother's position in the judicial system?

Something tells me that maybe Jordan was involved. But then... wouldn't Mark remember him? I guess we'll see next week.

As Jordan risked owing his mother for a favor, Naomi and Annie did everything they could to get Mark's name cleared. Naomi tried to distract Mark's kids from knowing their dad wasn't at their birthday party by throwing them an extravagant bash. It turns out all they really wanted was to see their dad, but now that they know he's in jail it endangers his custody battle. 

Meanwhile, Annie hired a hot lawyer that Liam mistook for another "Leobelle." Can we pause for a minute and discuss how amazing it is that Annie and Liam's alter ego characters have shippers? Leobelles, I'd like to introduce you to the original fans, the Lannie shippers. Here's hoping your collective fanbases can get us a satisfying series finale that doesn't end up with Liam going to Australia with that charlatan Sydney. 

Look you’re hot and all, but I’m exhausted so hop back on your mommy porn tour bus and get a real life. | permalink

Oh Liam. Elsewhere, Navid and Adrianna were hooking up again giving a ton of hope to Navid and Adrianna shippers. Michaela fans? Not so much. So what in Michaela's life was a bigger problem? Is something wrong with the baby? Where did she run off to? More importantly, does anyone really care...

For once I think Adrianna really isn't doing something just to piss other people off. She wants Navid. I don't believe this is about Silver at all. Well, maybe the part about doing it in her bed was, but the rest no. Something tells me Silver won't care about Ade and Navid after her latest doctors appointment. The opening montage showed us Silver feeling a lump in her breast and with her medical odds it probably won't be benign.

Hopefully we'll get answers to all of these questions next week! Only two episodes left until we bid adieu. What did you think of the latest episode of 90210?

You Can't Win 'Em All Review

Editor Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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Rating: 4.0 / 5.0 (34 Votes)
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90210 Season 5 Episode 20 Quotes

Like recording some back up vocals to your song, or I could record the sound of you getting diabetes.

Dixon [to Michaela]

Okay Annie was a hooker and my wrap sheet was a mile long. We still love you.

Naomi