I'm still trying to process everything that occurred on the Sons of Anarchy Season 6 finale. But I can honestly say that the show did something tonight that it's never done before:
It made me cry.
It also made me cover my eyes, yell and beg but all of those responses the series has managed to elicit in earlier episodes. But the tears were new.
If Jax teller lived in a world of self hate going into Sons of Anarchy Season 6 Episode 13, I can only imagine the depths of despair and self loathing he'll reach heading into season 7. Because after he'd sworn never to abandon his sons, he may be about to leave them very much alone.
All along Jax's struggle to do what's right has led him to some dark places and here he received advice on Karma from both Nero and Patterson.
Nero was furious that Jax had lied to him but also pointed out that when Karma comes around It makes you pay. Nero was reminded of the decisions he's made every time he watches his boy suffer. And that mythical farm he's been dreaming of was calling him now louder than ever.
Patterson took the time to encourage Jax to be the husband, father and man he truly wants to be. And Jax actually listened.
My heart was racing when SAMCRO found Tara and the boys in that park. She didn't even try to run or fight. She knew it could only make things worse. Her conversation with Jax at that park bench was one of the best of the series.
I sacrificed everything for you. I have tried to see what you see how you see it but I can't. All I see is the lies and the violence and how it's changed you. Turned you into a monster.Tara
Tara was certain her life was over but her first concern was still for her boys as she begged Jax in this Sons of Anarchy quote…
Tara: Please don't hurt me in front of the kids.
Jax: That not what I want.
Tara: But that's all there is.
She was wrong. Jax had another plan: To be a man. He turned himself in for supplying the guns that were used in the school shooting. He protected Tara, his boys and his club.
At great personal sacrifice Jax Teller did the right thing. And then it all went wrong.
As I watched it play out I found myself begging that the story wouldn't go there but the moment Unser told Gemma that Jax was getting arrested and he thought Tara had made a deal... I knew it was over. Still, I begged the TV gods to show me something different.
The TV gods are cruel.
Juice was the other wild card. Just as Gemma didn't know the whole story concerning Tara, Jax never knew that Juice's confession to Nero only happened because he OD'd. Would that information have made a difference? We may never know.
When Gemma and Tara finally came face to face, Gemma looked shocked to see her…and then she snapped. Tara saw it. There was a moment there where Gemma slipped into a blind rage. Gemma believed that Tara had destroyed everything she'd ever cared about and she was literally out of her mind.
That Gemma would try to kill Tara wasn't a surprise but bludgeoning her to death with a carving fork in her own sink full of dirty dish water that Gemma had left just hours before…the viciousness of it made me nauseous.
Then Juice shot Sheriff Roosevelt to save Gemma. Watching Juice destroy the evidence of the crime made my head spin.
For most of the last minutes of the show, I found myself worrying about Thomas and Abel. Tara was the one person who could have saved them from this life. I'd always related to her fierce need to protect her children at all costs. As she lie in a bloody heap on her kitchen floor all I could think about was how it was all for nothing.
Jax and Tara both made difficult decisions with the ultimate goal of making sure their boys would have a life without mayhem. With Tara dead and Jax possibly off to prison, those kids are stuck with crazy Gemma and junkie Wendy. Needless to say their future looks bleak.
As Jax took that final ride to his home you could tell he was at peace…and then he stepped into hell.
I couldn't help the tears as he cradled Tara in his arms. It was heartbreaking to watch his agony. She was his one true love. She and the boys were the best of him. If losing Opie sent Jax to a dark place, I don't want to know where he's headed after this.
And that's just it. I have no idea where season 7 will pick up. Is Jax off to prison or can he walk away from this deal? How will he raise those boys without their mother? Does Patterson think Jax killed Tara? And what is up with the strange woman in the alley? It's going to be a really long year waiting for Sons of Anarchy Season 7 to find out what comes next.
Check out this interview with Kurt Sutter, Katey Sagal and Maggie Siff for insight into the finale and where things could pick up in Season 7.
C. Orlando is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow her on Twitter.