Keeping Up with the Kardashians premiered Season 9 last night with a separation announcement, a new role for Kim Kardashian and, oh yeah… new hairstyles!
Yes, the opener got off to a fun, light-hearted start with Kim and Khloe showing off their fresh looks and the former declaring "Kim and I are into new vibes" and the latter adding:
"It's all about new beginnings."
It's almost as if these lines are scripted, considering how they serve as idea segues to all that comes next...
First, Scott takes issue with Kim and Kanye's new home, hilariously declaring that he's "gotta learn how to rap" in order to afford such a pad.
Apparently being a drunken douchebag just isn't pay enough of the bills for him.
Khloe, meanwhile, is open and honest about her problems with Lamar. She tells Kourtney during a drive to DASH that the "whole thing is very uncomfortable" because she knows she's being judged.
Cue the pair's arrival at their family store and the paparazzi asking Khloe about her marriage. Again, almost on cue. Amazing!
"I've been in hiding because I'm afraid of people," Khloé says. "I can't look at people in the eyes. And I'm not even the one who did anything."
We do feel bad for Khloe, who says she "can't have a conversation" with Lamar at the moment, a reason we now know can be attributed to the baller's drug use.
With Khloe determining she has to "move on" with her life, we then flash to Kris and Bruce having an equally difficult talk.
The lease was up on his Malibu rental, but when he tried to move home, Bruce didn't see much room for him there. Literally, in terms of where to put his stuff; and emotionally, in terms of his place in the marriage.
"We both seem to be doing better with our space," Bruce tells his wife of 23 years, who admits that the two are "better as friends than we are the other way."
Bruce emphasizes that "nobody's getting a divorce" in the family meeting, but that doesn't mean the news is easy for Kendall to process. She screams at them to just go ahead and split for good.
"We're trying to be really honest and our feelings are our feelings and they are feelings together," Kris explains. "We're just doing it our way."
The media runs with the story and causes Bruce to flip out at them a bit during a golf outing, while the family calls another meeting to ensure everyone is united.
Kim encourages the group to ignore what they cannot control (i.e. the tabloids) and to remain as one. It's a sentiment Bruce echoes when he says "the family is strong" and they "will survive"
Amen, BJ! Watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians online now to relive the action and let a dancing Khloe end this thing on a positive note: